Sometimes, listening is all that is needed..... not advice or what others may deem as help, but just the courtesy and implicit respect of a fellow human being who cares about us enough to just listen to what we are thinking and feeling - without imposition or accusational judgment of us.
I speak of all this from having walked, myself, through the valley of the shadow of death where I too, sought such release from despair and pain. So I believe that my own experience, as well as the sharing of countless therapy sessions with many, many ~others~ hospitalized during the times I was a patient myself, have qualified me to share my thoughts, opinions and first-hand experience here regarding suicidal compulsion. If I were to sum up what I hope you will hear and understand here, it would be... "Listening to the person... allowing them to share their innermost pain, despair and fears which have become overwhelming, can do so much more to ~help~ than rushing them off to therapy and drugs!"
What say we then, to our youth? Perchance that they dare to speak of personal perceptions of despair and unendurable pain of their existence.... we are horrified and immediately tell them that they need therapy! "Something is wrong with those thoughts and feelings and you must be fixed!" We tell <admonish> them this, so that they will cease having these thoughts and feelings which discomfort us to face! They do NOT stop having them though, they only stop revealing them! Already suffering from more pain, confusion and isolation than they can bear, they do not have strength to deal with our reaction on top of it all! And so, pushed down and contained.... the enticement of suicide grows.
<excerpted from another page here at our site ---> I am hoping that you may see and remember that our youth face a very different perception from our own. Youth is filled with ~absolutes~ such as "always & never" and they live in a world so complex and stress-filled that they need to be able to relate their feelings and thoughts without criticism and/or exhortations to see things in other ways than what they experience on their own. Life is an unfolding and growth of understanding in which we come to comprehend ourselves and make our individual adjustments to the environment of peers and circumstances around us.
Is it a wonder then, that they do not dare to discuss those "taboo" feelings and thoughts which then fester and grow in the darkness of secrecy and solitude and sometimes lead to the discovery of a body and a tragedy amidst which the friends and family all speak of their disbelief and total shock that their loved one could & would do such a thing. All want to know and understand how and why - once the deed is done. But where is the listening heart and mind before such irreversible fate befalls them by such an act of choice?
Oh, parents, friends and family! Listen. P-L-E-A-S-E! Open your eyes and your hearts and your minds to despairs' lamenting! Be there to care and understand - not condemn and make it a crime to speak of it all..... There is a way to help - but it is not in condemnation and labeling with accusations of yet more "failure to measure up" to some ~Normal~ which defies definition by means of judgments made by others who have set themselves up as authorities on what Normal is for one and all! There is no "NORMAL" ! It is a non-existent categorical definition because it depends upon the relativity of so many variables that it cannot be set in any "concrete" form or measurement.
Suicides' temptation is strongest when one feels alone in the midst of others!
I wonder how many of us would last in todays' school environment? Or in the world itself, fresh from parental security and sheltering and into the harsh struggle of societies demands just to survive without sacrificing our individuality or compromising our integrity to do so?
As MAD MAX has said,
What it usually
means is that life has become acutely unbearable and you
don't know what else to do. Should that bring a death
penalty punishment? What alternatives do we offer when
the only choice seems to be to live & suffer - or
escape by death? How can we reach out and help? Try
listening and compassion.
By, Nina Roberta Baker
written by a 16-year-old in High School
lost in deserted alleys
By "MAD MAX"
MEMOIRS FROM THE MORTUARY
Broken bodies, twisted
by "MAD MAX"
NO ONE REMEMBERS ME
Maybe you remember me
by "MAD MAX"
WE CRY TO THE STATUES
We cry to the statues
by "MAD MAX"