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Lily
Oh song22@pacific.net.sg
Thank you
Thanks Nina for the wonderful website. It touches my heart
and move my eyes to tears when reading every word
that you have penned for your dearly beloved son.
It causes me to realise a mother's love for her
child and I am ashamed of how I have taken my
parents' for granted. They are in their
seventies and I have been so busy working that I
hardly have any time to be with them together. I will try to set aside some time to be with them and once again thanks
for your wonderful poems I will treasure everyone of
them.
God
bless.
Lily
Dear
Lily, You have blessed my morning.
Thank you, dear one, for contacting me after
your visit to our website. There
is no greater joy for me than when I hear from
people who have been
touched by our presence in the world and in hearing
how Erics' life has touched others.... short
though it was in physical terms, his spirit
lives on and makes a difference because he lived and
was loved by family and friends.
Yours because I'm His, <><
<><ttt><> ><>
with love, hugs and prayer, Nina
<><
<>< ††† ><> ><>
Subject:
your website I came across
Hello, I know you've probably gotten
many emails asking questions about what happened
from people, I apologize, but here's another.
I just want to know how the accident occured and
what came of it. I understand your son
lost his life, I'm sorry to hear that. I
brought your site up through a search. It
touched my heart to see the pictures, letters and
hearing the musics. I am only 19
years old, own a powerful Camaro and love racing it
everywhere. If you could help just one person to
stop driving like an idiot...I'd like you to help
me. My question is, is his death
because of the power in the car?
Was he driving recklessly or was another driving in
this way? I just want to know what
happened. I know my family and my future
fiance would not like to see me gone. Thank you and
please respond. ~ Sandi
Dear
Sandi; Hello Sandi. Please forgive
the delay in responding to your e-mail. Thanksgiving
day was at my parents and family there from out of
town - and I didn't even get to check the website-
mail until this morning. I usually try
to respond the same day. Not knowing if
you checked out all the archives of guestbook,
for there are lots of e-mails shared there and
reading some of the grief and regrets there might
also help you to re-consider choosing to maximize
the dangers which already exist on the
roads. It isn't the "typical"
sort of guestbook and there are no commercial
interests or junk-mail posted. What is
posted there are the ones chosen for their content
and value of sharing with others who have suffered
loss and grief. Some of it is response to
other areas of our website also... but primarily, it
is grief-support oriented. Just this morning,
I responded to a similar request for details of the
accident, so I am going to send you a copy of that
e-mail (which will be posted by next
week). Additionally, I think that you
are already concerned about the pain and loss you
could bring to your loved ones if you are
permanently harmed or killed. I'm sure you have also
given thought to the potential consequences
which could befall other people, pets, wild-life or
property when speeding reduces the ability to
respond to a sudden and/or unexpected
encounter. Erics' accident had no
driver error. The details are in the message
to follow this one. Sometimes, the condition and
consequences are not avoidable by "safe"
or skilled driving, as in Erics'
fate. It WAS avoidable and senseless due
to negligence of a homeowner and/or contractor.
But... dear Sandi, with so much vulnerability to all
such bizarre circumstances brought about by
others... can we really allow ourselves to take such
chances with our lives? You are already
seeing the danger and have been asking yourself that
question. That is very loving and considerate
of you. Eric was like that
too. I know that the speed IS thrilling,
and at 19, it is difficult to imagine or think long
on our mortality. Speaking, though, as a
mother whose life is forever divided by the chasm of
"before and after", losing my only
and dearly beloved son, Eric... I speak from a
broken hearted ache which apparently, will never
heal or become conditioned in me... Each holiday,
each remembered time shared together or even
just the things we liked/enjoyed in similar
appreciations and choices of our own as individuals
who had many, many similarities as well as shared
talents and preferences somewhat inherited
genetically... each one is its' own reminder and
renewal of pain and anguish of his permanent
absence. This is the fifth winter without
Eric, and it hurts no less than the first. I dwell
on the years, holidays and experiences we had,
and not the ones never to be. have
peace and acceptance - but the loss is an unchanging
(at least thus far), pain and melancholy in my
soul. I hope that you are able to make
the choice to maximize your safety by those
choices, such as, not speeding or in any way
compromising your driving skills which may be
called upon at a moments' notice, by no
conscious choice or consequence of your own. I know
that you already realize your dangerous pleasure. I
believe that we have all faced that temptation and
indulged in it in those early experiences of being
one with the car we are controlling (and take such
pleasure in).... So in the end, you could say that
even if you never do take chances, you, like Eric,
and like any of us, could die as a victim of others'
choices which endanger you. But I
can say this.... I cannot imagine the extra grief
that others must bear, knowing that their loved-one
died as consequence of temptation they chose not to
resist. I have been in communication with those who
mourn and live with that additional pain which
accompanies such deaths as took place because of a
such a choice as you are hoping to "cure"
in your temptation and love of the power available
to you in your car. I'm not sure of
what else you were wondering about "what
came of it"... so if there is another
question about a specific detail... after you read
the message which will follow this one, please feel
free to ask. ~ As a mother, I ask
you, from the bottom of my heart and all my soul,
PLEASE, please don't make a choice that may cause
your parents, friends and fiancee' the grief and
loss of joy of having you in their
lives. Love and prayers of support on
your behalf,
Yours because I'm His, Your Gypsy, (Nina)
<><
<>< ††† ><> ><>
"McNew,
Brady" <Brady.McNew@Williams.com>
Subject: Your web page
I found a link to your webpage and saw the horrible
accident scene and demolished firebird. It was a
terrible wreck, one of the worst I've ever seen.
After viewing the webpage I'm left with a question,
why do you say: "If only one
homeowner sees this tragic outcome of
irresponsibility with potentially hazardous
materials... ". What did the homeowner
do? I viewed another webpage and some
where it said something to the effect of :
"They were nearly back at the college when
something large loomed into view". I'm
just curious, and sorry for your tragic loss ~
...Brady
Dear
Brady; Thank you for writing and for
your visiting with us and taking time to write and
express both your condolence and curiosity. I have
that trait myself and I know that it comes from a
spirit of depth and caring. Thank you for that
caring. ----> something
large loomed into view". This quote came from the obituary which I wrote on
the third day, after Erics' death..., (the day
before his funeral) as a privately published
obituary in the "Northern Virginia"
newspaper here. It was all I had been told at
that time. I first wrote the letter "to"
Eric, the second day, and it was my way of dealing
with saying goodbye, and also, to let as many
people as I could reach, know of his sudden
and tragic death. At the time of the
writing, I had only the State Troopers' report,
received `second hand' from the trooper at the scene
of the accident. Since both of the friends in the
car with him were taken to the hospital and both
admitted, I didn't get to talk to them at the time,
and no one knew exactly WHAT the object was... so I
had only those words to use at that time. (I had
called both boys on the second day, inquiring
of their condition. Eric C. was not able to talk on
the phone, and although I did get to speak to Noel a
few moments, he was very sedated and still in
shock. It wasn't until I visited Ferrum, on
the day they had their candlelight and
memorial services, for him that I talked with both
of his friends. The friend who was in the front
seat, Eric Cardwell, was thrown from the car though,
in spite of the fact that he WAS wearing a
seatbelt, (which we do know because the belt was
torn straight across and we were all amazed at that
happening<!> and also, because the third
friend, Noel, witnessed and reported this to all of
us. Eric C. never had, the last I heard, regained
his memory of what actually happened. Either
the violent ejection from the car, or a blow to his
head, or just the plain horror of it all, blocked
out hours of his memory of that evening.
I returned to Rocky mount two days after the
memorial service, with my son-in-law, to clear out
Erics' car before having it brought
home. On that day, a car drove past us
several times and then pulled into the
parking-lot. Bobby and I had remarked on the fact
that the driver and/or passengers in that car
which drove slowly by us 3 or 4 times, might think
that we were unauthorized "looters" of the
vehicle, and I went to my car to get Erics'
license and other papers to show who we were. The
car pulled up to Bobby, and the woman driving
asked Bobby if we were the parents of the
young man killed in the car. He replied that I was
the mother. She asked if he thought that I might be
willing/able to talk with her because she was
driving behind Eric and saw exactly what had
happened. Regardless of the emotional price for me
and probably even for this thoughtful stranger, I
was not only willing, but so grateful that she
should have happened-by. She told us of
how the eight-foot roll of duct-insulation had blown
in front of the Firebird and immediately, upon
contact burst open. This insulation is made of
the yellow material, (fiberglass) and covered with
that shiny metallic material which we have all seen
at one time or another in the installation of air
conduits. The light- weight yellow material
continued to blow past and for a time, was at
the fence along the field in which stood the tree
where Eric and the Firebird met their mutual
end. Several people did remember and speak of
it being there and had also seen it in a ditch at
the side of the road a few feet from where it was
blown into the path of the Firebird. The
farmer who owns the field said that by the time he
got out there, some of it was still there at the
site even then. Those who spoke of seeing that roll
of material in the ditch, all spoke with the utmost
pain of regret that they had not stopped and
done something about it.. for all had realized that
it posed a threat to traffic. Haven't we ALL seen
such a circumstance of one kind or another - and
didn't stop for whatever our reason? The
metallic, VERY shiny material, and the rusty wire
which held the roll tightly bound, both hooked at
the front bumper of the Firebird. The metallic
material covered the front of the car,
including the windshield and entire length of the
drivers' side of the car. The wire wrapped
itself around the rod under the car, and then
very tightly around the rear wheel axle on the
opposite side of the car. This appeared to have been
a contribution also to the car turning around,
almost into a u-turn, as it went off the road,
through the barb-wired fence and impacting with the
tree which nearly cut the
car in two pieces. Both the weight of the engine and
the fiberglass structure caused the car to tightly
wrap itself as you saw in the pictures which the
accident private-investigator included in his
excellent report, <his services were engaged and
paid-for by a friend who wanted to be sure
that I would have that complete picture of
exactly how such a thing happened>. In the
pictures you saw, he shows the wire and bits
of the insulating material still clinging to the
shiny silver material and also see that it wound
itself back up into the circle it had been in
for so long, wrapped around that long bundle of
leftover materials which lay in that back yard a
year - unsecured. The investigator spoke to
many of the neighbors to affirm that this was the
site and the material... which he shows in the
picture which I used in the website
composition. Mercifully, it all
happened so fast that the investigator said
that the moment of the first impact with the bundle
and the next with the tree, took place in less than
half-a-minute. At first, that sounds like a brief
time. But.... if you hold a stopwatch and watch the
hand move through those seconds - all the while,
imagining the headlights reflecting back through the
drivers' eyes.... it seems like forever. Other than
that sight which must have been painful to the
eyes... I am blessed to know that Eric was killed
instantly and had no other time to suffer from
anything at all. ~ Eric was an
excellent driver. There was no driver error.
No speeding. No one was drinking or under any
influence whatsoever. None of the three of
them was eating or smoking or doing anything
which might have compromised safety or
contributed to any driver distraction or error.
----> What did the
homeowner do? ^I'm sure you see, by
the above answer to your other question, that it was
what the homeowner did NOT do, not anything he did,
more than leaving the material instead of disposing
of or storing it safely. Thank you again for writing, Yours because I'm
His, Your gypsy, (Nina)
<>< <>< ††† ><> ><>
Mama
Gums mama-gums@cox.net
your lovely website
Dear Nina,
I found your website accidentally as I was
looking on the Internet for Whitehouse connections
to women's and babies' information. I had to take a
minute and write to you. I cannot
imagine the pain of the loss of your beautiful
son, Eric. Only another mother could possibly
imagine the depths of your sorrow. I am so
sorry. God
bless. Sheila Wolf ~ "Pregnancy
and Oral Health: The
critical connection between your mouth and your
baby." www.mamagums.com
Dear
Sheila: (Mama
Gums,) Thank you for writing to me. In
these days of deluge in our e-mail systems, many
of us don't communicate as freely as before simply
because it seems such a chore to wade through it
all, so each new ~friend who writes to me is
even more precious than in years past when there
were almost more than I could deal with.
I appreciate you for the warmth of your caring and
sending a message to me. Part of a
mother dies with her child - regardless of how many
friends and family are around us and other
relationships which continue - that special
mother-child relationship is different with each
individual child. It's been over 8
years, but the grief is forever.
So thank you again for reaching out, it was
comforting to me.
Yours because I'm His, with love, hugs and
prayer from your gypsy, (Nina)
<><
<>< ††† ><> ><>
If
you are looking for a recent entry and fail to find
it here, please check the archives,
below, or write to
me to inquire about it. These entries
are no longer in chronological order at all. You may
find one from last month posted in a book years
ago... Why? Well, sometimes I'm
just working on the page and checking the size or
content and may "move" an entry due to
size or whatever.... Call me whimsical or
tidy... Sometimes it's just a creative urge?
There are various reasons which have inspired me at
times to do it.... If you are looking for
yours, please type your name and/or address and do a
find. also.....
The original pages were set up for slower times and
smaller "memory", now
we are advanced enough to allow for larger pages
(content), so I began
combining guestbook archives with double the content
- less moving from one
to another for our visitors.
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