My New Years' message and request,  I sent this out in e-mail and thought that I would leave the message here to share with visitors too.

From: "William D. Daly" <>
Subject: Remembrance and Love - Two of life's beautiful gifts.
Dear Nina:    Thank you for your beautiful messages. I to have lost my daughter recenly and I know the joy of having her for 36 year and the sadness of her departure . She was suffering so from that deadly disease Cancer. which travelled from the calf of her leg through all her organs and finally to her brain in five short years.     I only wish I could have found the words of love that you found.    I have been comfoted by the thought that she no longer suffers.   Thank you Nina and God Bless.  Bill Daly

Dear Bill;  
Please forgive the delay in responding to your mail.   On January 4th, I had orthopedic surgery to totally replace both of my knees at the same time (injured in a lawn-tractor accident in Spring of 1998).   After the surgery I had to go to another hospital for some intensive rehabilitation.  It has been a long and painful month and I'm only about halfway there yet! The pain is too great to spend more than the minimal time necessary at the computer and I'm even behind in that.    ~   How glad I am that you found your way to Erics' memorial and the grief-support pages of my website. Yes, I was truly blessed, for I had the most loving and beautiful support of my chat-room family which reached out to embrace and uphold me as I went through the most painful time of my life when losing Eric as I did. I'm glad that you found comfort here too.  ~   To have been blessed to have your precious daughter for 36 years, and to have had time to tie up loose ends and say and share feelings and thoughts with each other before she had to leave you here until you both meet again and resume your relationship in eternity.... was certainly a blessed way to part.   ~   I hope that you will write again if you ever feel a need to share or just draw courage and strength from the various sharings of myself and others in the guest-book (and other pages) of Erics' memorial site.    ~   There are many of us and much to draw from as you face the 
days and times ahead. I will always respond. I care.   ~  Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: "American Legion Post 27" <>
Subject: Your web site
Great web site. Thanks for placing the POW/MIA  ~   banner.
HHHinkle  ~  American Legion_Post 27

You are most welcome Mr Hinkle, 
and thank you also,  for serving our country and your fellow Americans and others.  God bless and keep you. 
Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina)

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From: (Mindy Cody Vernon)
Subject: I really liked your poem
I likes your poem about the Unwanted baby It gave me goose bumps when I read
it.    ~     You Have nice work. Mindy 

Thank you, Mindy,
for letting us know you visited our site and were blessed. I hope you will return and see more of it. 
Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: It was such a joy to see your site
Nina:  Thanks so much for sharing so much of your life's experiences with the world,  exposed for all to see.    I know it took great courage to speak out on some of  your issues you have dealt with (like your marriage problems and even Eric's  death.)   I can sympathize with you in the death issue too.   My dad just past  on this past July.   It was a sudden heart attack.   There was no warning or 
anything.   He died in his bed in the arms of his wonderful wife (Mom).   She has 
really been having a rough time with it too.  My sister , her name is Nita..   lives right up the road from mom and I think something snapped in her mentally or spiritually when daddy died. She has not been the same since....I have  really been worried about her and confused about it. I haven't talked to  her...I don't want to offend her...But it was like a part of her left when he died.........My husband thinks something is really wrong with her  now.......Daddy was a preacher of the gospel and we were a very close family.......We all expected to all go up to be with the Lord the same time.........but He went on ahead.......We had 
mentally planned, prepared and really believed this .  We believed in the  rapture of the church of Christ. And we firmly believed that this was the last days and that the Lord was soon coming and surely the Lord would not take daddy away when it is so near His second coming..........I do not know how to approach Nita on this issue really....... We even took a trip to Israel for Mom since that was something mother had always wanted to do.    Mother paid for it all.......but it was Nita's idea to go.   We went in Oct. Dad had just died in July.   I guess they were just trying to look forward to doing  something to get through the grief of losing him.   All the time we were in Israel, mother kept spending the money.   Getting in the purse pulling out the cash, shekels seemingly trying to give away the grief.   I wanted to say so won't work mother.....we shouldn't have done this.....we could 
have gone to Florida and had as good a time as we had there.....We were all on our toes all the time with walls all around us, afraid to spoil mother's  trip. Nita made all the decisions as to where we would go, and when and everything.  We (my two other sisters and mother and the guide mother hired)  had to just go by Nitas orders. It could have been so much fun under different circumstances....  Back to dad's death.....  Dad's death was such a  shock. though.   You don't think you will ever get over it.   And the way you  described it , is so much like what I have felt so much about Daddy...You are such a wonderful, gifted writer. I f you haven't gotten a book published  yet, I would be amazed for all of your writing is wonderful.    You definitely  had me in tears.   I am a gospel/country songwriter and I appreciate good  writing. I am good with the music but the lyrics I write could definitely be better.    You have inspired me today, I must say.   ~   Also on a different note.   As of late, my marriage of twenty two years has  been going through some changes. I don't know if it is the change of life  creeping up on us unawares or what. I know what it sortof feels like to not know what to expect out of your spouse from one minute to the next and although my husband has not cheated on me, I am certain, yet I know he is  going through a change.   He is forty one, I am forty.   Our two boy's are twenty one and 18.   We have been through many crisis with the challenge of raising  boys growing with (Tourette Syndrome a neurological disorder which caused learning deficits and lots of problems.)   So I know what it is like to have children who are different. And the marriage has held up through all of this (believe it or not).   Thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ. I know I would not have  made it without his constant help and all of the holy guardian angels who  have constantly been near my children and us in this world.  The boy's have inspired me so much in my writing gospel music, I cannot tell you how much. 
Although I have also been through such depressing periods in my life that sometimes I really wanted to end it all too. But the Lord kept me going.   That 
is the only strength I had through those times. I just called on Jesus to help crying out, I need you Jesus, and an answer , a peace would always come and satisfy my soul and give me enough hope to stand and go on a little longer.   Then soon a song would be born.    Those were very special moments that  I have known in the past years. But now of late, all of my family is  changing so much.  I guess I am fearing getting old a little bit.   Maybe I am  going through fear that I need not have, like fear that Tim, (husband) will get tired of me, will go through the change and I won't please him as much.   God help us get through this another thing.......  
It seems like life is so full of so many changes, people change, I change I know I do. But thank God, He never does and that we can rely on always.  His hand has always picked me up when I have fallen down as we travel this mountain road called life. He will see us to the other side.   Abba Father, in  Yeshua's Name
 MY SITE   ~   Lanee' Ray
p.s. please let me know when you finish this. I am dying to know what happened to you and Roger.......

Dear Lanee;  Thank you for your intimacy in communication.... I feel that  we have really met and become friends across the miles that may lay between us physically... Our spirits are bonded in the body of Christ to which we have both been adopted as His.  On the 4th of January, I had to have both of my knees totally replaced (due to a lawntractor accident the year before).  I was in rehabilitation hospital for two weeks after the initial time here in the local hospital... and have only been home a few weeks now.... Having both done at the same time makes it quite a lengthy road back and painfully limiting at this point.... So I cannot spend much time at the computer.... (too painful).  Life can really get quite challenging at times!   ~   You have certainly had a very difficult year of changes,   and a variety of consequences following your dads' early transition.... I sure do know and identify with your feelings of being abandoned (left behind by your loved one). It haunts me to remember the words I once said to Eric so sincerely..... "Please don't ever leave me in this world alone." I didn't mean not to leave home - just not to die before me.... Odd, isn't it?   I believe it was after a deep discussion we'd had on the topic of suicidal temptations that we sometimes face for one reason or another.... I think that most of  us have, whether willing to confess it or not, had times of great physical or emotional pain and feeling overwhelmed by circumstances and desire to escape.... Not so much an actual desire to commit  suicide as much as the feeling that we just can't endure anymore.   These are temptations that even Christ faced in His "wilderness days"...   I'm sure that you feel the comfort at the peaceful and gentle ending and transition from this life to eternity that your dad was given. We would not ask that God send them from there to here again!   But it is so lonely without them accessible to us here. But what we do have are the memories.... and what blessed ones you have!   More than most!   ~   I will write again tomorrow - for I want to reply to your message in full and have other things to say in response.... but it is extremely painful for me to stay for long here. I am still on pain medication and have to limit my times at any one activity.... The new knees will get rather stiffened when not moving about.....  ~   Thank you for writing and I hope you will continue to share and visit. ~  Did you find your way to my 1993 prayer "Where Are You Lord?" I hope that you might print it out and give it to your mother and maybe your  sister also?   It is one of the things I dearly hope to have published in some form, for so very many people have said how much it helped them (even as it did for me when I wrote it).   I will write again.    ~   Love and hugs for a spiritual sister,
Yours because I'm His, Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: RE:Guest Book
Hi Nina,  ~   What a great place to spend a cold winter's afternoon. As the  snow is falling and the wind howling around outside I came across your site.   Just heat up the coffee sit back and relax with you, nice and warm. I too  have tried to be of some help to those who have suffered loss of a loved one.    I started my site with that in mind. I lost my husband 4 years ago and my Mom  2 years later. I guess I still look for those I have things in common with,  broken hearts. Computers and my web site have all been new things I've gotten  into since Harry died.   Please stop by my site and visit and leave me a note.
Right now my friend and I are trying to put up one new page a week if we can. 
God Bless you for your compassion and help.   ~  Joy

Dear Joy,
I posted the following to your guestbook today,   having finally finished your whole site. I am also sending  a separate e-mail with two awards for your site.  Love & hugs - ~me   <------->   My dear, dear Joy.... Thank you for inviting me here to your site when you visited mine and sent mail to guestbook. Sorry that it took me so long to view it all - but my time is limited sitting as yet - for I just had both of my knees totally replaced after an accident last year which tore both meniscus in two. After their removal I tried to continue life without them - too stubborn to believe I couldn't - but then - I had to at least give it a try! *s* I `SO enjoyed your work! I am also an artist  when I have the time - but it is not a profession ~ for my God given talents are in writing more than sketching.  I was born in Cook County hospital in Chicago, Illinois, too... We seem to have many things in common.... not just our grief - but our sources of joy as well. *rvbg!*  ~  My favorite flower is the humble daisy, another shared appreciation,  obviously. The framed picture of your painting was just so lovely!   I hope that you will share more of your work as you have time! I visited  as soon as I received your e-mail- but wanted to wait until I'd seen it all (to date).  It is refreshing to see your original work here - for so  many sites do their own versions of the same "favorites" around the cyber community.... You are a lovely and refreshing site to visit and to reflect  upon. Having finished my tour of your cyber home - I am hoping that you 
will continue to share and create more and more! God is blessing through, for sure. Love, prayer and hugs here for you and your family.   Write if  you ever find you need comfort or support... I will keep you in a special  place in my heart and prayers. ~~~~~~waving "Bye" for now, dear one....   yours because I'm "His", your Gypsy, (Nina)

Subject: Re: Award   ~   Hi Gypsy, I feel so honored by what you wrote and you are the First one to want to give my site an award. You don't know how much that means to me. I  sort of feel like any one can go around and fill out the forms on peoples  sites to see if they can get an award but there is no award more precious then the one given from someone's heart without a word being said. As soon as I get them I will pass them on to my friend Carol who sets up my web pages for me. You've just made my day and evening too. Isn't it strange how it just doesn't take a whole lot sometimes to make us feel better.   Thank you for 
being my little ray of sunshine today.    I wanted to tell you that my Mom 
had both of her knees replaced too. One was done two years before she died. 
Then the next year she had the other one done. So I do know that it's a very 
painful thing to go through and recovery is a very long drawn-out process 
too. I hope that the pain your going through now is at least not as bad as it 
was before surgery. Are you using a walker or are you trying to make a go of 
it on your own now? I've bookmarked your site as I still haven't finished all 
of it. Guess I'm not as fast a gal as you. ***giggles*** Looking forward to 
hearing from you again.    ~   Huggers.....Joy

Hello Joy;   
I always love to hear that I've lifted a spirit - though I give the credit to Him, it feels so good to be a part of it all and so fulfilling to be used by Him as His body now on earth.... As we do His will here (which all comes down to the same thing - to LOVE others), we become ever more like Him in loving and that is a wonderful blessing & joy to be the conduit of such love....    ~   There are about 375 pages on my site - (on the front table you will find an "art exhibit" link which contains pencil and pastel sketches) ... so even a "fast" person visiting my site would have a time sticking to it all at once.    And - there is such a scope or topics too. Just the guestbook archives alone would take days to cover - but oh - how beautiful are all those dear souls who shared my grief as well as their own for others who come searching for strength, encouragement, wisdom (of experience) and comfort.   Sometimes it's very lonely to grieve when surrounded by well-meaning others in our lives who seem to invariably come to say that we need to "get on with life" and "put it all behind us" and they begin to be uncomfortable with the passage of time in which we still want to talk about the life of our loved one no longer earthbound with us.    ~     SO then.... in the pages of the archives of the guestbooks, so many feelings and thoughts as well as experiences are there to reinforce and validate the love and cherishing of memories or the loneliness that remains even in the midst of the people around us.   I have found that the loneliness is more comfortable when we are alone.... for when it is there in the midst of people... it seems more acute and painful because if we show it, we discomfort others.... and that tends to make it more acute for us when we try to hide or disguise it for their sake.    Even after 4 years.... every beautiful sunrise or sunset, a new song or movie - a great meal or whatever.... I find myself thinking/reflecting on how Eric would have really liked it... and I smile at the memories and shared times that allow me to be aware of what he would think or feel if he were with me experiencing it too.     I am comfortable with Erics' internal presence/residence within and beside me. Sometimes he even gives me strength and courage as I think of what he would think of whatever it is I am  doing, thinking, feeling or facing.    ~    A year and a half after Erics' death, I met my fiance' through the site.    He was doing a search regarding prayer and I was the first link he found and read my "What Is Prayer" piece and enjoyed it so much that he wrote to me and we became good friends because of our shared love of God and His word!   A year later his wife died and the following year we became officially engaged.   That's  quite incredible when you think about it all! *G*    I was pretty  new and not well "listed" or exposed... and we both came to feel that in a way - Eric brought us together - for it was to publish Erics' work (far from finished yet)... that I took up learning to publish and create (with Front Page).     I also felt strongly that  the only thing that could bring meaning out of the senseless and tragic waste of a brilliant and talented life at the threshold of what it could do and mean to the world... to do that section "The Firebird" where I shared the accident scenes and the message to raise the consciousness of what a simple carelessness of the homeowners who left the leftover building materials laying loose behind their home for a year - and the passersby who saw that roll of insulation laying beside the road that day - alongside of the road where that fateful moment in time came that Eric passed at the same time the wind picked it up and blew it into the path of his car where the rusty wire burst open and the bright silver material hooked onto the front of his bumper and covered the car windshield and drivers' side - and the wire wrapped the underside and right wheel axle so tightly that the car went out of control and the car slammed against the tree and in less that thirty seconds - Eric was taken from our world.    So, as I say at the bottom of those terrible pictures - if even ONE life is spared by a viewer who sees the potential hazards of such a material and/or carelessness... then something will come of that fatality and other injuries and fatalities will be prevented.... What could be more meaningful?    Only God will know the "score" or measure of difference it will make in the world or lives of others... but that is just fine with me.... I an content to know that something good can come of something so terrible.    That is what God promises us in His Word... He will use all things for good to those who trust and allow Him....   ~   Joy, I thought I covered your whole site - but I only saw that your mother died as you talk about your losses... and in the remembrance section, but is there a place where you speak of her death?    It must have been an unexpected death else I doubt she would have gone through the knee replacements! ? *sad*  About mine - it's slowly but surely healing and rehabilitating, and certainly better than the whole year before (after the meniscus removals)!    It made 19 surgical procedures in 7 years though - and I have been SOOooooooo modified!    And also - I believe, have reached a lifetime-tolerance of surgeries!    I don't want to ever have another!
I do walk unassisted though.    It takes time for your brain to "connect" to the presence and movement of the new knees... so I don't feel as sure-footed as before - so I go carefully and stay near a grab-point or the wall. *s*    The worst part is that I can't sit at my main computer to work.    I'm a lifelong writer and write hours each and every day... With the laptop here, I am limited to short times
due to the discomfort of positions to be in to use it... Actually, the new knees don't like to be long in ANY position - it is more comfortable to be on the move.   I have finally resumed sleeping all night again without the pain waking me even once! Thank you for asking about it.  Would like to know about your mothers death if you feel like talking about it.   ~    Gee - didn't mean to get carried away this morning! I look forward to more sharing between us too.    I don't know if you read the "Miss Brandi" section of my site... a lot of her special story is there too. She was my seventh-born grandchild of 8 total.    I've had her all her life and she refers to me as mommy - though I personally preferred the "Nana" title which she used for me until she was about three and began to want to call me Mommy instead.    I would like to hear about your children too.
Love and hugs,   Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: "Hugh Thompson" <
Subject: I Just Saw Your Son's Memroial Web Site
Hi my name is Kathy Thompson and I have just spent the past two day reading your Memorial Tribute to your son Eric.    It is a very warm yet heart wrenching tribute. What a great way to leave your son's "legacy" to the world.   I lost my daughter, Melanie Brooke Thompson, on February 15, 1999 in a single car accident.    She too was killed instantly.    I have tried to deal with my feelings, fears and grief by creating a memorial page for her also.    It is not as sophisticated as yours but was created with a lot love.    I created it as a way of releasing my grief and with the hopes of keeping Melanie's Memory alive.    And to help leave her "Mark" on the world also.     If you would like to see it the address is  There are only four pages reached by text links.    One link is to a memorial provided by TCFATLANTA.   ~   I also keep various journals that I write my thoughts, feelings, anguish and sorrow in.    One day I hope to be able to comprise them into a readable "journal of grief" in order to pass on Melanie's name and memory.    Maybe I could even help another grieving mother like you have helped me. Thank-you.   ~   
Sincerely,   Kathy Thompson (Melanie's Mama)

Dear Kathy;   
Thank you for sharing with me about your visit and about "Melly" and your loss as well as your healing.    I signed your guestbook  while there as below;    Forgive, please, the delay in response to your e-mail. I wanted to wait until I had visited you.   I am sending you my site award also in next e-mail.
Hello Kathy;    You have done a beautiful tribute to your beautiful daughter,  Melanie.    Thank you for writing to me and visiting my son, Erics' site and sharing yours with me.     It is a beautiful and worthwhile thing for us to focus on their lives rather than their death....   Ours were beautiful and well-loved well-lived children. I hope that her friends visit and leave you some of their experiences and memories to share.    I enjoyed getting to know your "Melly". I hope also, that this will heal and comfort you along your way.    Love and hugs, 
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: Marty Lane <> ~  
Subject: stori_64
I've just met kookaid, who said she is the sister of the deceased, just 3 years ago.   I just came in on the conversation.    She shared with me, a little of her grief, and I visited the website.   I have never had a real family, and I have been through many, many things.    But my heart goes out to your family and I will keep you all in my prayers, for there's no telling someone in such a situation,   anything you tell someone else in theirs.    But I can say, 'God Bless You all' through everything.    I know He will not leave, nor forsake you.    And I love each and every one of you.
In sincerity and truth,  Gina Lane  ~ 

Dear Gina;  
Thank you for your compassion, love and prayers.    I hope that you will one day have your own family and find the fulfillment and joy of that blessing.    It has been four years since Eric was killed.    He lives in spirit and in me and is continuing to bless others with his unique and gifted talent and skills at writing and at being the wonderful spirit touching others with the immortal creativity he left us.    Thank you for writing,   Love and hugs,
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: Homepage
Nina,   Very rarely if ever, do I leave a homepage with tears in my eyes.....   ~  
Very rarely do I sign guestbooks, but this time I had to.     You see, I need to tell you, that your tribute to your son, is a tribute to all sons and daughters, mother and fathers..     Your love, your heartfelt pain...  I feel them all.....I sorrow for the loss of Eric,  I sorrow for a mother without her child...   ~   I think that you are doing a great service, for yourself and for others....   ~   Wonderful Page.   ~   My prayers with you,   Bobbie 

Dear Bobbie;  
Thank you so VERY much for your soulful and compassionate message.   It was especially well timed and beautifully written from your heart to mine.    I think it a beautiful thing evolving within the cyber-media/world - when two souls can meet and know each other without any earthly meeting or limitation...   We have met and given to each other a caring in sharing.   You have blessed me tonight.   ~   Thank you also, for including me in your prayers.   ~   Being that my middle name is Roberta - I grew up with the "nickname" of ~Bobbi... *s*    It stuck for half of my life, but then, when I moved from Maryland to Virginia - I didn't tell anyone I was called Bobbi, for I'd always loved my name, Nina - and it was quite natural for everyone to call me `Nina' and I loved it! *rvbs*   ~   March is the most melancholy month for me!    It begins as early as February, actually.    Just weeks from graduation and the thrill of  learning that Eric was the recipient of the highest honor and the AWARDS (given to graduating class) for both of his `majors' - the MINNICK award for religion and Philosophy, and the ENGLISH award (his foremost love of all).... the anticipated family weekend which was long planned for us to visit all of his favorite places `around town and college' together... the special dinner banquet for the graduating class and their families... (with the awards being officially given).    It was, without a doubt - the most anticipatory time of my life (his too, I believe)...   It was the culmination of dreams, diligent work, dedication, sacrifice and goals achieved.    It was the threshold of a life full of promise and so much to give and do and be.... As it turned out, God had a greater graduation in mind for Eric, one we have come to think of as Erics' "eternal life birthday".    Amen, then, Amen. ~   
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: For what it's worth (fwiw)
Dear Nina,  ~  I sense Eric's spirit as very alive and well - through you somehow.   From your web-site, it FEELS as if Eric is still around us in spirit and a very big influence upon you and those who contact you.    It feels more than a memory, it feels like a living "influence" and inspiration.   ~   

Dear Rich;   T
hat is one of the most beautiful things anyone could say to me!   I feel that too, and others have said it in other ways - but your words transferred my exact feelings and in Erics' own words from "THIS DAY" - "transcends the scope of time".  Thank you very much for sharing your feeling and thoughts of us!
Love,  from your Gypsy, (Nina)

My coach Nanice is working on opening up my heart.   I cannot help but sense the vibes.   Your LOVE for Eric is amazing but it is not just the sentimental love of mourning the loss of the Eric, rather, you have a living viable relationship, there is a dynamic spirit that makes this fresh and alive.     It's not only transcending time, it's transcending flesh.  It's not like I know the Eric of 5 years ago, THAT would be going back into time.   Rather,  it feels like Eric IS alive and well in spirit, only his body is missing.   You are, of course,  communicating his poetic works on the material plane, but his spirit emanates out, I can sense it.     You are not in love with Eric's memory alone, you are in contact with the real spirit of Eric, and you are sharing this with others...   That is SO beautiful,  I cannot describe it.   Eric's spirit and  soul is still working in THIS world through you and your love for him!    ~     Love,  Rich

Dear Nina,    May I share some of your points about God and spirituality with friends?    ~     Regards,  Rich

From God to me and me to you and you to anyone you choose.... I am both honored and blessed in your wanting to!
From your Gypsy, (Nina)

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Subject: memorial site
Thanks to net4tv I have just visited your site.   It is a wonderful memorial.  It speaks so of love.    May God bless you now and forever. 

Hello Shirley; 
Thank you for visiting and sharing your thoughts/feelings 
afterward with me.
Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: Your Web Page
My sincerest sympathy goes out to you on the loss of your son Eric and you 
sweet little `girl'  Buffy.   You have suffered so, and my heart and my prayers  are with you. It is so hard losing a loved one, be it human or animal.   I  have never lost a child, so that part I have been spared, but I know how badly you must hurt, but I have lost fur children and I can tell you that it  is heartwrenching.   I lost my Casey Bear, a cinnimon Chow Chow when he was 2 years old, due to a dog fight.   That was 5 years ago and I still grieve for him so very deeply.   I have a 10 year old Chow that I fear in the near future will be joining her brother Casey Bear at Rainbow Bridge.   I know that it will be horrendously painful for me because I have had her ever since she was 10 weeks old and we have a bond so strong that we can communicate with each  other telepathically.   We can carry on a whole conversation that way. I keep her with me most of the time now, because she has communicated to me that her time here on earth is drawing to a close, and I want her with me as long as I can possible keep her.   Her name is Brandi Bear. I will find it hard to go on when she leaves me.    The story of your Beloved Buffy brought tears to my eyes, but she was so lucky to have had you for a Mommy. She was your angel and you were hers.   ~   I am a pet loss grief counselor for Rainbows  and I deal with the pain of others every day and my heart breaks for them. Please visit us in the pet loss chatroom at   It is a wonderful, healing place and I have met some very wonderful, caring, understanding friends there.   May God Bless you and may He hold your precious babies, Eric and  Buffy in His loving arms until the day your work on earth is through and you are called to the Rainbow Bridge to cross the Bridge together into Heaven never to be parted again.   
Rainbow Hugs, Dot (Casey Bear's & April's Mommy)

Dear Dot;  
Thank you for writing and for sharing. I do know what you mean about telepathic communication with pets (and also with humans whose minds are not too cluttered or self-involved to "receive") such communications and intimacy. Our little ChiCho, (Chihuahua) is not only telepathic - but is the most intelligent fur-child I have ever had, in that, he understandings ordinary conversations and words more than any other I have ever seen - (except for my earlier observation of Timmy and Lassie <television shows>, which, at that time, I believed 100%) *giggle* There was such a sweet thing I read somewhere (Chicken soup for the soul, I think) about a child who was listening to his parents and veterinarian talking and it was said  that it was such a shame that our pets have such short lives rather than remaining our lifespan... and the little boy said that he thought that he knew why... "Because God created us here on earth so that we could learn to love and pets learn better and faster than us, and that's why they get to go to heaven sooner than people!" ~As scripture says, "And a little child shall lead them". *S*   ~ I hope that your beloved Chowchow will surprise you and be with  you a long, long while here in this realm yet.    Love, hugs and prayers,
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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I was very touched reading your story on your beloved Buffy.    I cried as i  read it because it reminded of my beloved Cassie, who passed on to Rainbowsbridge a year ago March 12. It broke my heart when we lost her and i think about her everyday. i cry every time i think of her or see her picture. She is also on Rainbowsbridge, if you get a chance visit her site. It is awful to lose our babies, for they are our children.   Thinking of you in your time of sadness......Donna

Subject: Buffy and Cassie
Dear Donna: 
In April I received a message from you and do not see if I wrote back  to you. You were responding to my sharing about the last days with my dog, Buffy.   You shared with me about losing your Cassie also. Thank you for writing. If you did get a reply - please let me know.. and if not - please accept my heartfelt apology and please forgive me.   I usually answer my e-mail right away. I had my knees both replaced in January and have had difficulty in spending much time at the computer and working on the pages. Now, after a few months in pool therapy, I'm doing much better and am just now really catching up a bit. If I did not respond when you wrote to me - please accept my deepest apology and please know that I care about each and every e-mail friend and fellow soul sharing
with me.   ~  I hope that you are doing well and have been adjusting to your loss. I also hope that you have found comfort and strength in all the resources and other
souls who have lost loved ones...
Love and hugs,  Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

Subject: Re: Buffy and Cassie
Hi Nina,  In response to your letter,  No, I never got an answer from you.  This is the first time I've heard from you.   I was  very glad to hear from you.  I just figured at the time I wrote that you were too upset over losing your fur-baby.  I have met a lot of very nice people through Rainbow Bridge and we have become very good cyber-friends.  It is so nice to know that others care about you and their pets.   I hopeyou are doing well since your knee surgery.   My brother had knee replacement surgery 2 years ago and he is doing great.   Thanks again for taking time to write me.   Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.    Luv,  Donna

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From: "Carol DeAngelo" <>
Subject: Guest book
Losing one we love puts a emptiness in our heart that remains there until once more we can be reunited with them. Losing a parent we lose the Past, losing a Spouse we lose the Present, but losing a child we lose the Future.   God Bless you my dear. May the Angels send you soft words of love each day. 
Sincerely,   Carol 
My Personal Site  ~ 
Memorial  for Lori, Dean and Angie ~ 

Dear Carol; I enjoyed your touching site. We just celebrated Erics'  forth Eternal life birthday (April first). You probably already know how much it helps to share our departed beloveds. When I began in 1996, it was more of a desire to continue to give to the world,  Erics' writings and spirit which live on and travel around the world into hearts and minds near and far. Every writer has that desire to be read and to make a difference, with words, in the lives of others. Although Eric did not live to see it happen, it is a timeless and endless gift which continues to help me with the shortness of his time to use his remarkable talent and share my 
life until its' end. Thank you for sharing your beloved with us here. Thank you for the e-mail and your compassionate words and link to your site which is lovely. ALthough we miss our dear children, we know that they are in a far, far better place awaiting our reunion. Love and hugs, Carol. From ~me
Yours because I'm His,  ~  Your Gypsy, (Nina)

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Subject: A request...
From: "stani ferraiolo" <>
Hello Nina,  ~   My name is Stani and I was just surfing the web a little when I came across to a wonderful prayer you wrote titled 'Where are You Lord?'   ~  I like this text so much, that I was wondering if I could possible make a song of it?   I  really love the stuff you write and admire your writing abilities a lot!   I hope hearing something from you soon!    ~   Greetings,  Stani

Dear Stani;  
  Thank you for your appreciation of my writings. The prayer I wrote in 1993 is also a favorite of my writings.    It was written at the lowest time of my life and it came from my soul.   ~  When you request making it into a song... do you mean just for yourself? Or to be performed? Could you tell me a little more about what you have in mind? Would also like to know a little about you. Do you sing? Write music? Perform for churches or something like that?  I consider the request an honor, thank you. Will look forward to your response. 
Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

Subject: To answer some of your questions...
Dear Nina,  I was pleasantly suprised to see you mailed back so quickly.   YES, I would like to write a song with those lyrics to be performed. I play in a band in Belgium: I usually sing, write the lyrics and music. I also love playing the piano, keyboard and bass guitar. Our band is called '777'( it's got a kind of funny history to it ...'cause we let the younger sister of our guitar and bass player (brothers) choose the name. And we accepted it...) 7 refers, as you will know, to the Godly number of perfection. Since we call ourselves Gods' disciples we are not perfect, but strive to be.   We hope with the band to record our first album in December. And if I can manage, put YOUR poem on it as well as a song of course!    The words are so true, and I felt your emotion through your words... Just excellent!  ~  So, I presume you live in the US, right?  Where at?  Now, I am doing a one semester intern ship at SEMO, in Missouri. I tutor French and German, and  try to improve my English... I will leave the US in exaclty 2 weeks.   Although I had a great time here, I look forward to go back to my family and friends!  I hope you tell something about yourself as well...   ~   Friendly greetings from Stani

Dear Stani;  Nice to hear more about you. *S*  There is an online bio about me.... here;   ~  If you do use my prayer, please keep my name with it, and if it is used on an album, please publish the link to my memorial site established to publish the works and tributes to my beloved son,  Eric Lee Baker (who has gone ahead of me home to our Father and  eternal life).    ~  Will you be online when you go home?  If so, perhaps we will  keep in touch through my personal mailbox? 
Love and hugs,  Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Hi Nina,   I came across your web page tribute to your son Eric today when I was looking for a poem to read at a memorial service.   It's probably been a while since you did this page, but I just wanted to let you know that I was really touched.   ~   Tammy

Dear Tammy;   Thank you for writing to me. I began the page in 1996, but it
is an ongoing commitment that will likely never be really finished.  I hope that you have a nice memorial service and special day. 
Love,   Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: "Maria McCallum" <>
Subject: Re: Website.
Dear Nina,    As I sit here reading your pages, tears are rolling down my face.  You see, you and I have a common heartache.    We both lost a son.   We lost our youngest son Brian at age 36.Brian was diagnosed with cancer 1 year before he died.   We watched him suffer and get worse daily and finally watched him leave us forever. My dear Nina ,it has been 2 years since that day,but he will always be in my heart. I wonder if it ever will get easier.    The pain never seems to go away.   So Nina, I know what you are going through and the pain you must have felt and still feel. My heart is with you and so are my prayers. I think if it was not for my faith in God, I would not have been able to pull through.  I have bookmarked your site, because I could not finish all of them right how.   I think you will understand why!   I will be back.   
God bless you Nina.    ~   Maria. (aka Bozwald)

Dear Maria;    ----> I wonder if it ever will get easier   ^As I'm sure you already know after 2 years,  life does get into a new rhythm, never again to be what it was "before". After four+ years, I find that every single reference or relativity is divided by April 1, 1996... into "before and after".... Actually... "easier" is a difficult concept to  recognize hidden between the cracks in our world which will  never again be whole... And yet.... given the choice, we would again choose the broken world to one in which the beloved had never existed..... True?   I believe that our loved ones who move on ahead of us and no longer share the same realm, go on living within and as  a part of us forever.   In that sense, we come to cherish what we had/have more than grieve what we have no longer with us otherwise.  When this happens, it becomes "easier" than those first days (or years) when we are so sorely torn apart.   ~   I have been blessed to communicate with so many who suffer grief and loss, via this cyber-realm which connects us from near and far.... I have learned that there is good and bad in every way that the loss comes into our lives. Whether slowly, with foreknowledge of the days growing relentlessly shorter, or suddenly with no warning or  preparation at all.    Ofttimes, people continue to look across the  fence into the "fields of others" and think that the parting would  have been better or easier if it had happened some other way.  But the reality is that it would not be better or worse if it had happened in any other way than ours.... we must all look at the reality and find  the positives and negatives therein. We can focus on their death or their lives.   ~   Sadly, there are some who have more pain to bear when the death comes in a horrible or violent manner and adds to the memory of the experience, a horror of its' own to bear.... For these people, only God can bring them healing and reconcilement to their additional tragedy... One day we will all see the greater picture... the tapestry will be finished and we will see the whole of it from the front rather than our limited present view of the tangled threads behind the cloth being woven now.  ~   Thank you for writing to me. I feel a bond and thankfulness for each new heart/soul which reaches out to touch and help me grow and heal. I pray that you feel the same about sharing my experience too.   Write any time you may feel a need or desire to share again.   God has blessed us to find and share and I thank Him for that.   ~  Love and warm embrace to another mother who grieves ...
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From:  (Inge Kreisler)
Subject: Appreciation
Gypsy Nina (of the Misty Blue Mountains),
Today my heart feels soothed by your beautiful web site, and I am truly thankful to you & Eric.    My name is Colleen and my email address is . On Feb. 21st, 2000 my beautiful, bright 18yr young son died in a car accident. Another boy died also.    Karl was driving and had 0.9 alcohol in his bloodstream supposedly from what he drank the night before. I hate this ! In my heart I don't believe he intended to drink and drive. I expressed my position that he not drink both verbally and in action too. Karl was responsible and compassionate. I grew up in an alcoholic home and married an alcoholic husband (Karl's dad,Peter) Peter did get sober when Karl was 5 and we divorced when Karl was 10. Peter and I had Karl tested for alcoholism.  He was getting good grades working part time and excited about going to college to study chemistry. Karl loved friends, music, basketball, snowboarding and his little brother Henry(16). Life sure changes when one's child dies! I was angry most of my pregnancy with Henry, mostly because I felt helpless about Peter's drinking and trapped. I thank God for Henry. It has always been my highest honor and privileged AND my joy to parent the boys. Even on a shoestring budget and with Peter not be just unsupportive but actually making life pretty difficult much of the time. Two years ago he took the boys and I through a custody battle. I am sad that even though I tried so hard and so long Karl died.I feel responsible. Like Henry said, "Karl was just getting to the good part". Henry also says the boys enjoyed there childhood very much. He said, "Mom, I believe you were a very good experience for Karl". He sure was and still is for me.  Mostly I wanted to share that my highest goal is to be a living prayer.  Helping teens in trouble mattered to Karl. I am committed to his legacy being about love. Your site affirms this for me. A scholarship has been started in his memory at the high school he was graduating from. My  brother and I want to start a Music Festival in honor of Karl and Naro, the other boy that died. The money will go to teens in trouble. I know this was long and rambling. Thank you again for your kind soul and sharing your love for your son with me. 
Take good care. in love,  Colleen

Dear, dear Colleen;    Thank you for sharing with me your love, loss and commitment to allow something terrible to create something so beautiful and spiritual for the world which Karl and Naro no longer inhabit with us. They live on in your feelings and in your actions memorializing them. We are changed by the tragedy, and how wonderful it is when that change is love and giving rather than a retreat into despair which has no way to create a legacy of their memory and their fate.    Each of us have such different circumstances and responses to it all. I am blessed to have had so many others share their choices and feelings. What you have chosen to do is wonderful, particularly since Karl has a younger brother. Henry will be  surrounded by the memorials to his brother and the strength and love which you are able to exhibit to others and to allow Karl to make a difference in other lives because he lived and because you love him so beautifully.   ~  I am blessed by your reaching out to me. I don't know if you found the guestbook and archives, but I hope that you will visit them and read of others who share their loss, grief and healing experiences. If you didn't check them, here is the first of twenty archives (working on #21 as current one)   I know that it must grieve you so much more that there had to be the alcohol aspect of the deaths... particularly since you suffered in  childhood and marriage, the devastation and pain of alcoholisms' presence and consequences of loved ones indulgence in it.... but you sound strong and enduring through it all - and those very circumstances which have brought you such terrible grief, also helped to make you who and what you are today.   Please write any time you feel a need to reach out mother to mother, child of God to a sister or in any way that you need... I care and I will be here for you. I embrace you with Gods' love through both of us, 
Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

Thank you Nina,    You really are a beautiful writer. A most lovely of soul's also. As you know,  It Is So Painful To Loose a Son!   I am truly amazed and humbled by this experience. I do love Henry immensely, always remembering his precious heart too is challenged helps me have strength. Your gracious reaching out to me Nina softens the pain. I thank God for you today.    I remember, and know, my sons both belong to God. Me too. God Is and cares for all of us. Your response to me supports this truth. : ) 
Take good care.   ~  Love, Colleen

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Subject: Eric's Memory!
Dearest Nina!   ~   I have just spent hours going through your Homepage!   What can I say, Except, Wow!!!!!!    I have gone through the pages one by one.  I shared your tears as I went from page after page, Feeling the intensity of the death and re-birth of your Son! To bury a child has got to be the most excruciating pain a Mother has to deal with.  I know you and Eric had such an enormous bond! I remember your Son fromChurch and he was always on a higher plane than others His age..But I also knew, It was because of the Mother he had! Eric was equally Blessed by You, Your honesty, tenderness, Sensitivity, knowledge and most of all Your wisdom! That we know comes from our Father!   I'm not sure how I feel right now.   I guess I can best describe it as Lonely and sad.....Which, even tho it's been awhile....Through your days of  contentment and happiness...there will always be that void....emptiness and loneliness. With a Son like Eric and all His depth and perceptions of  the world around Him, Has to change you profoundly. Missing Him on a daily basis is probably a part of your your existence!   In closing. I would like to say, I am glad I know you!  and Eric for a short and brief time!   May Our God, Who gives us that peace that passes all understanding, Bless You and Your Family 100 fold!   If you get the chance, Lets chat or e-mail. My time is limited, with my Hair shop, and working full time at Wal-Mart (10p-7a) I don't have a lot  of free time. Just know I am thinking of You and lets keep in touch!  
Your Friend and Sister in Christ!...........Vicky E. Maggard.
Vikki's Hair Designs!    984-4449

Dear Vicki;   Thank you for visiting our cyber-home, and for writing and sharing your feelings about me and about Eric. *Rvbs*    ~   You touched my heart in its' deepest and most tender place and soothed me with your love and compassion.  I appreciate that more than I could say in mere words - I hope that you can feel it right this moment and always, flowing from my soul to yours.   It seems so long between our meetings *IRL*,    life gets so busy with the ~tyranny of the urgents~ of each day and we live only five minutes apart from each other!  ! *s* TWO jobs?   That must be quite a drain on your energy and also on home-making and inter-family relationships!   Do you like the graveyard shift?   Peach works those same hours at Food Lion (night manager and cashier).    ~  Are you setting up a website?  If so, let me know.  <
snipped personal>  Gee.... so much has been going on while I have been laid-up since that accident and my knees!    But I would love to have you come out and visit or we can just do e-mail also,  which is probably more convenient with your working hours!  . The nice thing a bout e-mail is that you get to do the communicating when you actually have the time. But you are always dear to my heart dear one! I will write more next time Brandi is 11 now and our favorite night is Friday and it's time for us to get a game going.... *s*    ~   Let me know how things are. Have you visited the Spiritual pages on my site?  There is a prayer there called "WHERE ARE YOU LORD?", somehow, I feel strongly that you would like to read that...  Go here, 
Go look down through the links until you find the link to click and go read that prayer... I have an idea that you will be blessed.... I have had so many people write to me about that one prayer (which I wrote in 1993 in the midst of a whole summer of being suicidal and hospitalized three times for that affliction before I received the permanent cure of the mending of my faith and trust.....)  Remember, Vicky, when life seems so difficult and dark, no affliction ever comes upon us without a gift/blessing for us as well.  I love you, dear sister. You are a cherished one in my heart and life....
Bye for now ~~~~~~~~~waving~~~~~~~~~ Love, prayer and hugs,
Yours because I'm His,   Your gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: May I be of some comfort?
From: "Danelle E Lewis" <>
My Dear Friend & Mother of Eric,   If I may intrude into your life for just a brief moment of time.   My name is Danelle Lewis and I too have children in heaven. I am very touched by your willingness to create this web site for all to view.   It took me 20 years to be able to put into words that, even though they were late in coming, may someday with God's grace be of comfort to you.   I'm am so very glad that Eric was saved and baptized  for I feel he must have had a personal relationship with Christ and that, if I may again be forward,  You too may have this relationship with the Savior.   Please take a short rest in the garden of God's love and visit a web site that a friend of mine put together and begged me to write my testimony for. If you should know of anyone who might need to read my testimony please share this web site with them. I'm sure you have had many letters and If you'd like to copy this address down and reply to some of the email you get and send this address you have my blessing to do so.    I lost 2 children ages 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 and my testimony can be seen at  . I wrote this under a pen name (at the request of a very special friend) of Iris. The home page of this site is  
Please fill free to give this address to anyone who may need the comfort of God's love.
Living in the Word   ~   Danelle Lewis

Subject: Re: May I be of some comfort?
To: Danelle E Lewis <>
Dear Danelle;  Thank you for writing to me and sharing. I read your testimony  and wondered- what happened that took both of your little ones at one time. Was it a farm accident? I would like to know just what happened, if you don't mind sharing that. I guess the most important question in my mind, though, is - did they die instantly and not have to suffer? Also, what were the names of your precious son and daughter?  I am glad that you went on to have three more children and with the special advantage/gift to have Christian parents for them.   After reading your testimony, I happened to think that you might not have seen the Spiritual sections of our site and so am sending the following links which I thought you might like to see.
I realize that your loss was long ago, and your loving husband was probably the best source of your healing.... but should you ever have need of more, the archived testimonies of others who lost loved ones, is a treasure of sharing, support and balm....
Yours because I'm His, Your Gypsy, (Nina)

From: "Danelle E Lewis" <>
To: <>
Mrs. Baker.     Thanks for returning the gesture of sharing. I seldom go into detail about my children but I spos I should get use to it now that my testimony is out in the world. (I had just written it the first of Oct.) It took all those years to write it down. No, not that I couldn't find the words, I think because God knew that in some way I still felt sorry for myself.   I know God can't use me that way and each time I began to write I seemed bitter at the world. I didn't want to come across bitter - I wanted God's love to show through.   My children contracted a virus that made their major organs shut down.  I know it sounds strange, but many tests and lab procedures had been done, and are still being done thanks to our wonderful scientist that can freeze tissue.   There was another child in the family line who had died, and though that is little comfort to people in that time, it was said to have been a gene problem of some sort. I still stay in contact with some of the family,  strange as it seems to a lot of people that I could still talk with my ex-inlaws. God gets us through these things!  There was no sign of pain.. no sign of hurting.. and they both died after being sick together with a very bad virus.. the other child that died had died about 5 months earlier.   As you can imagine I just don't talk much about it and the updates are enough to make the crying last for weeks.   God has taken most of the pain from me as I watch my children grow, plan for college and their lives.  There doesn't seem to be a problem with my genes, nor that of my husband now, but having been part of a family who have a problem with their genes can surely make one stop and think..."what does God have in store for me around the next corner". I don't worry any more, I don't question God any more, I don't even look for the clouds for Him to return....I am listening for the trumpet call and thats when I will see my Lord and I'll know why these things happened.  ~ 
Have a wonderful day in the Lord.   Danelle (a.k.a. Iris )

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From: "anil bajpai" <>
Subject: u made me cry
u made me cry again & again & again  ~  thanks?   love? ?
may once i am able to control myself  ~  anil

Dear Anil;   Sharing and empathizing with another souls' experiences and pain, is an act of love from a loving person. Thank you for being that loving and sharing with me. I hope that with the tears you also drew something of strength, faith, hope and personal growth. 
Warm hug, and love from my heart,   Yours because I'm His, your gypsy,  Nina

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"Teri K." <>
Subject: registering in the guest book
My Dearest Gypsy,  I am struck with a profound sense of love and respect from one Mother to another.    I too have three boys whom I love dearly. I have had a wild life and started my family at 14 years of age. now I am 39 and my boys are 21, 16 and 12. I made it through the tough times with being a single Mother at a very young age, and I could not possibly imagine the pain you must feel from the loss of your son Eric.    I don't know if I could deal with the loss of a child and I pray I never have too, but I would like to express my deepest sympathy to you and your family.   Eric must be very honored to have such a graceful Mother.   I have never seen such a beautiful web site in my life and I will be telling many about this wonderful web site Memorial to Eric and the way your family has found a way to express your love and memories for Eric.   ~ May God Bless You All and keep you safe .
Sincerely,   Teri Ann Kasischke
Iowa Falls, Iowa

Hello, dear Teri Ann:   It's amazing how few visitors write... (relative to the number who visit the site... some, repeatedly!) I think it at least partially due to the sad nature of the memorial pages of the site, and the difficulty that most have in finding words to share emotions so strong.   Memorializing my dear Eric was the originating inspiration which began the whole idea of even putting up a web-presence.  He had many friends and school-mates here  in Shenandoah and then the 4 years at Ferrum... It allowed them to visit  Eric and to have their own copies of his work if they wished, by copying directly from the site. It was really all he ever aspired-to in life - to have others read his words and touch people. He knew he would be working at a job, at least at first (I think he would have been able to earn a fine living with his writing in whatever aspect he enjoyed most).... but he  most loved writing for the sake of expression and perspective shared with others. I feel the same way about my own writing. I suppose you already
read the page where I already explained all this and about the auto-biography which I first read after he was killed, wherein he expressed that dream of  being read... Now - he certainly IS read, all around the world. *S*  ~  I'm sure that most all parents feel that dread and fear of surviving their children... None of us ever think we could bear that.   It burns in our hearts when one of our children falls ill and we are up checking on them  all through the night. And if one were to dwell on the death... we would overlook the joy of the LIFE we shared.   Who would sacrifice one moment with our children to escape the terrible pain of losing them?   It is good to think on all the good we had rather than the experiences we never did get to share beyond those days allotted to them.   A daughter-in-law, grand-children (if he'd had any) who might have been as wonderful as he was... all are taken away with him.... But, there are many things of comfort in the terrible way he was taken... Terrible for us left behind, but absolutely blessed in the instant and merciful end which came in a time too short to even utter a word or suffer a moment!     Some people never, ever have the closeness and appreciation of each other that we did.... And I cherish it all. It is a cozy blanket of comfort that I wrap around myself daily.   ~  Thank you for your loving care to write to me and express your warmth, love and appreciation for your visit to our cyber-home. *S* I hope that you will return and find all the other goodies which grew out of the original memorial pages... I feel the gentle, caring spirit within you, embracing me, mother to mother, from afar. Thank you for that, dear Teri. 
Love, hugs and shalom, ~  Yours because I'm His, Your Gypsy, (Nina)

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From: David Warren <>
You have a wonderful website and I appreciate you sharing it with others like me. I'm sure I will be back to visit many times.   Thanks much. David
Dear David;  Thank you for letting me know you enjoyed your visit. *S*   ~  I appreciate hearing from visitors who find their way to the Misty Mountain cyber-site.   Have a blessed Sunday , (and everyday),
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina)

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From:  Irene Transue)
Subject: Pansies
The pansies and poetry are very beautiful and inspiring.

Hello Irene,  Thank you for sharing your appreciation with me.
Yours because I'm His,  ~  Your Gypsy, (Nina)

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Subject: (no subject)
Dear Nina,   My son Matthew went home to be with the Lord on November,19,2000 after a 21  month battle with a brain tumor. My husband also, went home to be with the Lord 6 mo prior, I am thanking the Lord for his constant care, and would like to see how you are doing.   ~  A friend in Texas/ PS my brother lives fairly close to Roanoke, Va.  so the  picture reminds me of how pretty it is.   ~   Diann Seals

Dear Diann:    Thank you for writing, sharing, and for your inquiry as to how I am.  We are blessed to be secure and even have a new baby in the family, we are 5 generations this year, and I became a great grandmother for the first time.   You didn't mention other family. I hope that you have friends and family to support and comfort you in this time. Having lost family to Cancer, I know that the parting can be mixed with strong, diverse feelings of the pain of loss and the gratitude for the merciful ending of suffering.    Still... Thanksgiving and Christmas are the two most traditional times of gathering and the joys of giving and receiving.   I guess that your Thanksgiving day must have been the day after your  sons' burial?   How sad for you and those who also loved and lost him  from their present lives.  This is the our 5th without Eric, and I  can see that there will always be an invisible empty chair at our family holiday gatherings.   For you, though, this is the first without TWO of your beloveds!   How I ache for and with you. I am glad that you are reaching out to the others in the world who share themselves online and with websites for you to visit.   I still feel that need to reach out and see how others are surviving.... It comforts me to have them in view, and also comforts me to have others behind me on this journey `after'.   It seems  that most of us tend to see our lives landmarked as before and after the loss of a loved one/ones.  ~   If there is anything I can do... or even if you just feel like sharing more... please write again. I am here, I care deeply, and I feel Gods' love for you in my heart.
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina)

Dear Nina,   Bless you for your kind words through the edification of the spirit. I know how you feel at this time of the year.   I know Eric was special to you and
your family, and also, there is just something about a mom and her son.  Matthew was my friend, and he opened the spiritual side that he saw, and I am sure the Lord knew we both needed that comfort.   ~   Mark and Matthew were fraternal twins.   Mark and Matt were 9 minutes apart.   I  think Mark is doing fair although I am not sure he has let everything out as  most men do not.   Matt's older brother victor is pretty much the same.  Mark  is a policeman so they have to be in control at all times.   ~  I am sure you have your hands full with your grandchild and other multi tasks.   May the lord supply all your needs through this time and to come.
Your friend in Texas  ~  Diann

My Dear Diann...  I tried to respond to you,   but the e-mail address above will not go through for me.  I hope that you will see this message some day and see the response I did try to send,  which appears here.....
Dear Diann: Nice to hear from you again and learn more of your journey.   Yes, as you observed, we are just months apart in age. I'm also raising one of my 8 grandchildren, Miss Brandi (s).    I am also now a great-grandma to "Hallie" who is going to have her first Christmas this year. With my mother alive, we are  now five generations. *s*   It must be very difficult for Mark to have a twin who died.   Are they identical or fraternal twins? If identical, I  imagine that there must be an underlying, lingering anxiety  associated with the manner of Matthews' death.   It must also have been very difficult to lose your husband/father at such a difficult time (any time would be hard, but while in the midst of Matthews' battle was undoubtedly  heartbreaking for all of you!). Surely, there is a glad rejoicing/reunion between father and son now. I am quite blessed to know that you are a strong Christian and have His strength to lean upon and the certain realization that He is with us always - even unto the end.  No other arms could hold, comfort and strengthen me like our Abbas'.   ~  I hope that you will find solace and peace in this celebration time of year. The first of every holiday, is like a mountain to climb and rise above. There is that aching emptiness even in the midst of friends and family... a loneliness that no others will ever fill.~ Thank you for writing again. Even though it is the 5th Christmas without Eric, I am filled with fresh aching at all of our family gatherings and each of the holidays without him.
Love and hugs,    yours because I'm His,   Nina

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