From: Peter J Zimmermann <>
Subject: Thank you
. . . for sharing from your space,  your experience,  your tragedies,
your joys and mostly the sounds,  the words & the imagery of your
PEACE amidst it all . . .don't quit . . . a fellow earthling . . . Peter

Dear Peter;  You are most welcome, and thank you also for sharing a bit of my life-path, thoughts, feelings and experiences and then for taking time to send and share your thoughts and  appreciation with/for me as well.  I continue to add to the website which now exceeds 350 individual URLs and many topics. I hope you will return  from time to time and write again.
Yours because I'm His,  your Gypsy, (Nina)

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From: "Irene"
Subject: signin guest book
irene koch signin in and leavin my poem which tells what i believe it goes like this--- In my garden there is no such thing as a weed Everything that grows - fills the need of a bird , a butterfly or a bee and all of God's creatures - including Thee and me.

Dear Irene; Thank you for visiting and signing in.  I liked your poem and agree wholeheartedly with its' sentiments too.   Yours because I'm His,   your Gypsy, (Nina)

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From: "Br Smith" <>
Subject: Praise the LORD

Thank you for visiting and your complimentary sign-in.
Yours because I'm His,   your Gypsy, (Nina)

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Date: Sun, 31 Oct 1999 18:37:21 -0500
From: "June A. Johnson" <>
Subject: Hello again, Nina - from you site
Hi Nina,  Just a little hello to let you know I am still with you - and always
will be. Your site is most soothing is sooooo many ways!   A little explanation of how my 'body' will stay on earth and become part of it. I feel my body is merely a vehicle for my soul.   Yes, I do treat it well and with respect. However, when eventually I am free from my body I want to be immediately cremated and my ashes scattered - I don't know where yet.  Probably most here on the coastline of southeast Florida - Hollywood.   Our home city Pembroke Pines is just east of Hollywood but has no coastline. This area has been my heaven on earth for many, many years.   If possible I hope very much my family will find a way to scatter the remaining ashes in my favorite apple orchard. This place is about two hundred miles north of NYC and right on the New York and Vermont border.   Another piece of heaven heaven here on earth.   To some I am young, to others old.   What difference does it make if life has been happy and full of love?    Jesus holds my hand and leads me thru my days and night. His little angels are most precious!   Hmmmmmm guess reading the tombstones woke up a part of me. You see, all my life I am a 'planner' - so like all else I do not want to burden anyone - even my loving husband - with theses last tasks to be tended to here on planet earth. Oh yes, he is aware of my feelings and has decided to join the earth as well.   So now the goblins will be knocking on our door and I don't want to leave any empty handed!     Blessings Nina to you and all your family,  June

Hello June;
It is always so nice to hear from you. Would like to know
more specifically how your present medical status is, how you are doing, feeling and getting around in life again?    You have such a dear, sweet nature, and oft-times, your messages really brightened my day as I was going through some very difficult physical (crippling) challenges. (I  still am, after a tractor accident which tore the meniscus in both knees -clear in two, had them removed in surgeries one month apart last Fall and in January, will be having both knees fully replaced. I am getting around, but not very well.    It even limits my computer time.  You take care, dear one. Write when you can, Love, prayer and hugs,
Yours because I'm His,    your Gypsy, (Nina)

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<Snipped identity for obvious reasons>
Date: Wed, 10 Nov 1999 15:23:51 -0600
From `ZC' ~ Subject: Thank you
(If anyone would like to write a message to this visitor,  I will forward to them,  but of my own concern for her privacy- although she did not ask for anonymity,  I felt it safer that she have that here.  If you contact me,  I will send to her and she can decide how she feels about being in communication with anyone else at this time in her life.   If you feel compelled to communicate with her - please do not let the opportunity to reach out to her pass)

Dear Gypsy,  i really appreciate your prayers and your e-mails. i am not very good about writing so please forgive me. your e-mails have helped a lot. they have encouraged me to keep going. Here are some other things that are going on in my life that if you would add them to your prayer list. i have recently found out that my son, who is now 28 molested several children when he was a teenager. they have been both, boys and girls. 2 of them are the children of dear friends of mine. they just recently (2 months ago) were told by there son about it. he had never told anyone before. i was viviting them about 3 weeks ago and they shared it with me. out of God's grace and mercy they are not angry with me about it. God is allowing me to minister to their son and them too. but mainly i would really like for u to pray for me that i will know what God's will for me in all of this. i know unless God intervenes my so will continue to do this. the most recent was 3 years ago.    it has to stop, it just has to stop. i am willing to go to the police if this is what God wants me to do. if it is my son will get a life sentence automaticcaly.   again i thank you for your prayers and encouragement.

Dear Z.C. -
Hello again.  Thank you for writing to me again and letting me know that messages from me did help you. It is always nice to hear such news and give thanks to our Father that we could be instruments of healing or nurture for Him to use for our brothers and sisters. *s*  I have waited a few days to respond to this message from you because I have never addressed this or any similar issue as difficult as this situation is for you. You are caught  between being a friend, a parent and a child of God... and there are, I feel certain, conflicts as to what to do.   In having been sexually victimized yourself, you are likely  feeling an additional weight of sharing and identifying with  the victims also.   How painful for you. I am sorry that you have had to, and have yet to, go through so much.  I've prayed about it and tried to put myself in your  shoes, which I usually can do... I failed this time, perhaps because I just haven't had to face the issue. I have had to deal, in my own family, with this topic - but each is such an individual situation that it cannot be dealt with in the same way as others. Here is my outside view of this for you.   It seems difficult for me, to imagine the parents, (your dear friends), not  wanting to confront and deal with the situation. I tried to  imagine why. If the children involved didn't want to face a  confrontation, the parents might confront him themselves?   They must surely all see that, as you said, "This has to stop!"   To be silent and unreactive to it is probably an additional  harm to their children, as they must see this to be a lack of  concern about what took place and about what may continue to  happen to other victims in the future.   Since this is something that has been going on for a very long time now, I believe that your son needs help to deal with the problem.   If it continues to go undisclosed and without consequence of any kind, it will likely get worse as time goes on and at some point, all of you may grieve the indecision and continued allowance of these acts....  You didn't say if you have confronted your son yourself.    I guess that of all the choices, such a confrontation would be the very least that must be done.   You could give him the choice as to what he will do - either get professional help which you, in that case, would need to verify by having a consultation with the therapist or at the least, you could write personally to the doctor/therapist, what details you personally know.... and the  rest would be up to that professional and your son.   This would be absolutely necessary, for you will never know what actually does  go on in the confidence of his therapy.   It must be assured that the therapist is aware of all that you know.   I feel a concern that the children whose parents now know about the incidents, need to know also, that their parents have taken some sort of action on their behalf and to prevent future victims from being harmed in these ways.  Also, in this vein, I personally feel that your son MUST be counseled to face the damage and to write an apology and ask  forgiveness of his trespass upon them.   This step is an absolute necessity, for in it, your son is facing and accepting the acts and the responsibility of dealing with all consequences.   If you are uncomfortable with dealing face to face with confrontation with your son, I would bring in a third (or more) parties in what is known as an "Intervention" with your son.  Lastly, your statement regarding an automatic "life sentence" - I find puzzling.   I don't believe that I have ever heard of this being the case anywhere in the world.   Are you sure about this consequence?   You will remain in my prayers and also your son and the family members who are living with the aftermath of it all and the effects on them and on their own lives and interrelationships. You are right that it must be stopped. It has gone on far too long for him to stop on his own now. He needs help desperately!    I know that life can seem so very dark in some times and places, but there is a "Light of the world" who has sent His Spirit to dwell with us until He returns to take us to Eternity. This Spirit will counsel  and guide you, and through that very Spirit, He is always with us  and this will be so "even unto the end" as He promised.   When we are standing in a place of darkness such as you are in this, we have but  to cast our eyes and cares upon Him and light begins to softly  infiltrate the darkness and we see that we are not alone. (nor ever will we be).... and with that comfort comes the strength of His presence and loving willingness to be yoked together and help us with the weight of anything.... anything at all, that we face.   Please know that I, too, am lending myself to you and hoping that some measure of comfort and strength may come of that as He gives you the grace to withstand and carry on to good outcome of all.   Lastly, I continue to pray that your "Joy in the morning and new day" will return to you and uplift you through all circumstances.   I leave you with love, prayer and hugs. I sincerely hope and pray that I've had something here for you to be strengthened and/or uplifted by. ~ Yours because I'm His,  Love & hugs, From your Gypsy, (Nina)

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From: "Paula" <>
Hi. I saw a note from you in a guestbook on the web and thought you would get a lot out of this website. You're not on any mailing list or anything -- I'm just sending you this one thing.    I really think you will like this website. It's at <broken link>  and has some really good articles about doctrine.    May God bless you in your desire to serve Him.  ~  Paula Frye

Dear Paula;    Thank you for the link. You were right, I did enjoy the two articles I read there. I will return to do it all later - Sundays are "play" days for my ten-year-old and I. *S*   So  just read the two which I did to discern if I would like to read all,  which I will.     There is so much already going on in fulfillment of prophesy and it is sometimes difficult to decide if we should be rejoicing at the nearness or grieving for those who don't want to know Him and may be lost.   ~  Did you visit my site?  If not, there are similar articles (re: the delusions and misrepresentations promoted by many churches of today.  Sad how willing many are (most, I guess, are) willing to follow  the traditions and teachings of men which contradict the Word.   Thank you again for the link,  Yours because I'm His,   Gypsy, (Nina)

Subject: Re: wisdom and knowledge ~ Hi.  Thank you so much for sending the link.   No, I hadn't visited this site before. I'm marking it as a favorite and will be visiting often to read things. It looks like a very good site.  In Christ, Paula

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From:  (Karen Griner)
Subject: Blessings
Reading My God vs a pagan god.    Really blessed my heart.  I thank God that I serve the only ONE TRUE God,  (Jesus Christ)   There is No Other. Jesus is the sweet name I know...   ~  This would be nice for churches to read for there Christmas programs.   To many people have taking Jesus out of everything.  It makes me sick to see when people write Merry X-mas.   I'm not ashame of Jesus Christ. As for me it's Merry Christ...mas (Christ must be first) God Bless you, and keep up the good work   ~   Your sister in Christ,  Karen

Dear Karen;  
Thank you for visiting and sharing your appreciation of the small essay. I am always interested in knowing how people find me- due to the self-taught/discovered methods of reaching others - I have been asking visitors how they find me so that I can better reach  even more! *s*  ~  Overall, I believe that the purest elements of love and giving are represented in the spirit which units and inspires people of all nationalities and walks of life in the season which we call Christmas - but in the power and grace of Christ Himself which  thrives and is centered in this seasonal tradition.... I really do thank our God for every way that Christ and salvation is brought to the minds and hearts of all men - even by the paganistic "Winter Solstice" and the traditions associated with worship for a sun-god.   ~   In case you didn't find the other related pages which you might also enjoy, you can go here and get to them, or just go directly to my two favorites here. I spent several years writing the second one here below.... I think it is my all-time favorite - perhaps because  it took me so long to complete! *s*
Thank you for writing. Would like to share more if you care to write again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~waving Bye for now, in Christian love and fellowship,  ~ Yours because I'm His, your Gypsy, (Nina)

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From: "WhiteHorse" <>
Subject: Permission Please
Hi, What a great & lovely site you have created as a tribute to your son.  I would like to ask permission to use "An Affair Gone Wrong" on my personal site. I also normally leave the following message in Guest Books of sites I find exceptional:
Howdy! What a GREAT web-site!  Just surfed in & like what I see. 
Would like to invite you to enter my web-site competition;
The White Horse Peace Trail.
A FUN way to promote your web-site & help provide a  "family friendly"surfing network for others.   Interested?   Accepting sign-ups now for December Contests
. Check it out by Clicking On The Graphic below.

From R Baker Thank you for your request to use my poem,  "An Affair Gone Wrong" on your website. I am honored that you think it worthy to be included in your work and most humbly grant that permission. 

Dear White Horse;   It seems that we share compulsive/addicted natures - it has been a struggle all my life - though mine never took the route of the usual substance-abusive compulsions - all addictions can/will be  harmful to ourselves and others... whether it be getting lost in  the cyber-world or obsessive working.... whatever.   By now, (I'm 56) - I have learned to moderate myself MOST of the time - but I confess that the computer has kept me till dawn more than once! *G*    It also saved me from succumbing to the pain of losing my son, Eric.     It gave me a vision of fulfilling his deserving desire to be read...  and in that, I found a mission of outreach to others who mourn or suffer.  ~  We also share the degeneration of Arthritis... though you wouldn't know it to look at me - for I do not have the typical kind which manifests itself in gnarled joints and outward signs... I have had 14 surgeries in 5 years and in a few months both knees will be totally replaced after an accident with a lawn-tractor (which I had no business operating anyway!).   ~   Thank you for visiting with us and your compliments on our work. We appreciate hearing about your visit. You have a lot to offer in many ways and I hope that you will continue your web-presence wherever you live *IRL*..... I love horses also! Have sent you our award here.   ~  God bless and keep you,
Yours because I'm His,  From your Gypsy, (Nina)

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Subject: TNKS 
Dear  Little Nina....Your letter brought tears to my eyes....   I cannot imagine... EVER... the pain...  and suffering the loss of a child could be... No one could unless they had experienced it... My heart goes out to you... Your letter...  if no one ever wrote again... Yours would be worth the effort and everything that went into what you saw on our website.....  THANK ..YOU... from the bottom of our hearts.... What a wonderful thing to say to us....  I Know there must be feathers all around your house...  I just know that you have wings...  you sound like an angel.  
Your  Friend,  Mitzi Osbourne ~

Dear Mitzi;  Thank you for visiting me. *S*
And I am glowing from the warmth and affirmations from you. This must be a very busy  time of year at your home<!> and it was special of you to take some of that time to visit and write me in this season.   It must surely please God to see his children use the precious gifts of time and resources (mental, emotional and physical) to reach out to each other in love.   Love is the strongest message which comes from your family, your  home, your giving and your web-presence. You are like the Christmas spirit all year around.   I hope that we will be in touch again.   I love you all. Hugs, prayers and thankfulness,
Yours because I'm His,  ~  From your Gypsy, (Nina)

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From:    ~   Subject: Buffy
Dear Nina, Thank you for sharing with the world your story of "Buffy"
With the most heart-felt regards, Sharon Meddley 
Subject: Newport News, Virginia and a dog named Spanky
Dear Nina,   I forgot to mention that as you do now, so do I  live in the Commonwealth of Virginia  ~  With warmest regards,  Sharon Meddley

Hello Sharon;    Thank you for writing to me. Very sorry to hear about your dear
Spanky. To have the capacity (and privilege) of loving a pet as you and I and so many others have done..... is such a special part of our lives and personal growth in many ways. *S*    ~   I appreciate your writing to thank and appreciate me.   I was up late preparing a report of interest which seems to be escaping much attention in the media but which I think is awesome enough to share as much and as far and wide abroad as I can in time for others to check it out as we are going to do here! *G*   ~   I'm sending it along to you too following this - hoping that you get a chance to share the experience also.   Hope that you visit more of my pages (which total almost 400 URLs and many topics. *s* ~~~~~~~~~waving "Bye" for now. Hope your holidays will be the most blessed ever!  ~  
From your Gypsy, (Nina)

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Subject: Hello baker's
Hello,   I was looking for a retirement place in are around Harrisonburg,  when I ran across your web site.    That is a great picture of the valley.    I was born in Roanoke, raised in Hillsville area for a short while.   I live in Williamsburg, Va. for 47 years. I have a lot a family in the valley and Rocky Mount area.   Sorry to here of your lost of son Eric.   I have raised 6 and I have been blessed so far.   I only have one that has a drug problem.   I hope so day he well remember that there is a
family that love's him very much and wants him to come home free of drugs and start a new life. To lose a family member in car are in drugs is not the same,  but I can not hold my son and he lives.

Hello (didn't give me your name);  Williamsburg is a beautiful area also! I would think that after living in one place for 47 years, you would  want to stay put. One gets to become so familiar with everything in the area - taking a lot of little-things for granted that show up when you transplant yourself!    I  was thirty when I moved from Maryland to here.   With three major universities in close proximity in Harrisonburg/Bridgewater area - there are many advantages and more cultural things available to enjoy.   There is still the country/farming community which is largely Mennonite and therefore, a scenic and mellow environment.  One of my children was into the drug trap until she was about thirty and began, at last, the long road to recovery and building a life from the ruins of consequence.   She is clean and committed to staying that way.  Her last (5th) child was born with some damage and great challenges to be faced which almost cost her life and probably were the precipitating factor in her leaving drugs behind.   I have had that child since she was 5 months old - she is now ten and the joy of my heart!   Brandi and her mother, Cathy, are more like sisters - but it is a good relationship.   Your son will find his way "home" to your arms again.   How old is he?  How long the addiction? I know that you must  miss him terribly at holidays more than other days....   I will be praying that he be restored in all ways and reunited with his family soon.  Thank you for writing.    Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

Hello again, my name is Jerry Branscome and my son is 32 and has been on drugs off and on for about seven years.   Like you said, someday he will reach the bottom and pull his self up and start a new.   Thanks for the reply.

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Subject: new guest  ~  I'm Just a 14year-old that has stumbled onto this journal. I like it, and I  will visit and write regularly.  ~  Peace,  Adam Wood   ~  PS:: Merry Christmas  ~ God bless

Dear Adam;  Thank you for writing. I'm not sure which journal you were
enjoying, but thank you for sharing your response.  Brandi and I hope that we will hear from you again.  Hope you had a nice Christmas time and the new year will be blessed in every way.
Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: Shankar.Narayanan@Dartmouth.EDU  
(Shankar Narayanan)
Subject: Hello!
Hi !   Am a masters student of Computer Science at dartmouth college and met with chance and luck your daugter Jeanne on the net ( chat) , early morning of Jan 2 2000. She has sharp wits and great sense of humour , so I asked if she shall be a critic to some of my compsitions as I love writing myself .    And then I got this site address...  which I shall cherish as a New year gift to me.    I loved reading some of the poems, opinions and the sayings!!   Words are unworthy to explicitly explain the impact of the site.     Perhaps the entire site is like a poem, when you read , you only live in its presence!    I shall keep coming here and read more and shall sign in the book again and again. Thus shall become a friend from an acquaintance!   Thanks for this gift !   And take care.   
Love,   Shankar Narayanan  ~  ( )

Dear Shankar;  Thank you for writing to share your thoughts/feelings after  visiting "Eric Of The Misty Blue Mountains".    It is always so nice to be appreciated, and to hear from visitors.   Do you have a site yourself?   I notice that you have two e-mail addresses, one at school and one which is probably your personal one to be used all year round.   ~  Although I have not chatted since Eric was killed,  for I turned  my time and heart to erecting the site to publish his works and then became interested in mastering more and more creative aspects of net-publishing and outreaches including (but not limited to)  grief-support on-line and in e-mail communications.   There are  times when I fall behind in just keeping up-to-date with it all *s*.   ~   What does one do when you major in computer-science at college?   I would think that would be a wonderful opportunity to learn and to grow as you reach out and connect with people all around the world.   ~   Are you a U.S. citizen?    I wasn't sure what nationality your name suggests - Indian, perhaps?  Middle Eastern?  Would be interesting to know more if you would like to share.    ~   Having been online since 1994, I have met and become friends with  so very many people in places all around the world. When Eric was  killed, I went to the funeral home the next day and was incredulous to hear that flowers had already arrived there and were in a holding room already - before I even arrived myself!    The loving support and  caring of my chat-group was a miraculous thing to experience.    I feel that they probably saved me from being a second fatality of that accident which killed my son, Eric.  ~  I will always be grateful for the way things all came together at that time... upholding and giving me strength from near and far.   ~  Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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"Conner, Debra" <
Subject: Your Website 
I, my name is Debra Conner. I've visited your nice website in times past.  I actually accidentally ran across it in my search and studies of MSM a few years ago.  You, at one time, had an article on MSM on your site, which I noticed is not there now.   Do you know where this article/information on MSM can be obtained so I can forward it to friends/family?    It was the most informative article on the web about MSM that I have ever read.   The address on your site at one time was:  Thank you for your response!

Hello Debra,  Attached is the file of information/research on MSM.    There is a lot of information online on MSM...  Keep looking around for newer material also...  Sorry to have taken a few days - but have been grooming and doing upgrading the website which is considerably large!   Glad to be of help,  Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: homepage
Gypsi,   It is absolutely beautiful!!    You are so gifted!    I felt a chill, it's  indescribable. .I will read it again... Thank you for sharing.    Love and Hugs,  Vixy

Well, Vixy!!    Hello room-mate of old! *G*     
So good to hear from you! *RVBS!* Tell me more about how you are - what's been happening these last few years?  Where are you living?  Is that a new last name? *g*       By now your daughter is probably graduated from college!?
(snip)  I gave up chatting because it changed so much and just wasn't appealing 
to me by the time I returned. I don't have nearly as much free time these days as I had in the good-old days of our 50+ family unity!   ~   If you go here, you will see this years pictures of Brandi and I! *S*    ~ 
Love and BIG huggs!     From your gypsy-sister, (Nina)

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From: "ERIC S. BAKER" <
Subject: thank you
Hello, I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for the beautiful site about Eric.    My name is Eric S. Baker (Steven).    Like your son I, too, was born in July (1951) and graduated magna cum laude with an English major.    Philosophy is one of my all-time favorite subjects.   Small world, huh?    Like you, my loves and preoccupations include Feeding His Sheep, writing, and movies.   Needless to say, I was very personally touched and moved by your site.   If you'd like to write back, my e-mail is .    May God bless you and bring you always closer to the light.     Eric Baker

Dear Eric,    Gee, what a familiar thing to write out.    For the first few years, I would write notes to Eric sometimes... just a way of working through a melancholy spell or grief & pain.    I'm so glad that you took the time to write to me!    It was a bit of a shock to actually see "Eric Baker" there on the screen (signature) - especially in my personal mail instead of the grief-support mailbox! *s*  ~  I would likely enjoy opening a communication-line with you, of course!   Since we share so many of the same interests and the two primary ones, Shepherding & Philosophy, followed closely by English and movies! *G*   ~  Also, I and two of my grandchildren are born in July. *S*     I appreciate your sharing about your visit too.    It always pleases me when Eric gets to touch others as his simple and profound desire was to be able to do.   ~   Do you have a website?  I needn't ask about surfing the net - for I'm sure you enjoy the wandering around and exploring those things we love,  what a wonderful era to live in where we can go anywhere and find just about anything we seek as well as so much we never even knew existed!   ~   I hope to hear more from you and also about you, Eric.
Sincerely,   From your GYPSY, (Nina)   ~    <>< <>< ><> ><>

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Subject: hello from Barb Baker
Hello Nina,    My husband Eric shared your website with me. He is very inspired by it.  I too found it so.  We have put you on our prayer list and will also pray for your son Eric.     Eric and I both have sons named Eric as we are a combined family.   I have always loved the name since I first dated Eric when I was 19.   We both went our ways but got back together over 20 years later.   What a blessing!   My husband has been an inspiration to me.  To be honest not too many people have done that. Eric is quite a man.  He is a great writer and if I may say so a modern prophet.    I have never met anyone who loves God as much as he does. I always thought I was pretty high up there.    I guess I thought being Catholic explained everything.    But I realized I took a lot for granted. He has shown me the way to a more active and full of life path  (though a narrow one) to our heavenly father.    I'm afraid I am not an eloquent writer as you and Eric are but I do love God and will do everything in my power with the gifts and graces he has blessed me with to proclaim his name and to make this wonderful gift of life a better place for everyone I have any contact with.    I was really impressed by all the activities you are in .  You sure have been blessed with a lot of gifts.   I am going back into ceramics.     Thank you for a beautiful website and sharing your joys and sorrows with me.   
God bless you.   Peace and love with God,  Mrs. Barbara(Eric) Baker

Hello Barb!   Thank you for visiting and writing to me.    I feel ~twice-blessed to know you both! *S*    Thank you also, for sharing even more of your story! *s*     How do you all deal with THREE Erics in one house??? (holidays and get-togethers).   What are their ages?   Eric must have been your soulmate for you to have named your son Eric also and then for your diverged paths to come back together and allow you to be one! *S*   ~   I once wrote a piece called "Fairytales"    I'm just doing a quick check-in here, for we are having our first beautiful snow today. I always think of a song which CARMEN sings (and also made a video of), about 15 (?) years ago in a Christmas special he made.... and it's such a beautiful analogy that I never see snow without thinking of that television-special which I video-taped so many years ago.... (We don't watch television anymore... but have many many years of tapes made when there were still good shows to watch and appreciate.)   The words are....

I once read in a poem, 
"When snow covers the earth," 
That,  "It hides the worlds' scars, 
and gives nature new birth."
And they say when a man 
turns from sin to the Lord, 
a forgiveness, like snow, 
covers him evermore.
Somewhere it's snowing, 
see the soft drifting down,
As the snowflakes surrender, 
to the hardening ground.
Like the good grace of Jesus, 
that now covers our sins,
In the Kingdom of Heaven,
 it's snowing... again!

So, Barb, it is almost 6:00 PM here and we are delighting in the quiet and
the beauty of snow and the delight of knowing there will be "NO SCHOOL"  tomorrow (Brandi is in the 6th grade).... *G* I must close and return to our special "holiday" creating itself....   ~  We also turn our front light on and make Chili when it snows, so that we will have plenty of food and a welcome for strangers or neighbors who may need our help or home... We live in a very country area and on a secondary, unpaved road... When someone gets stuck - that light looks pretty good! *G*  So... Bye for now, Barb.  I hope to hear from you again.
Love and prayer for you both. 
Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

The above entries  were the beginning of a special friendship 
(as many our visitors have become!)  so I have only posted the first two of our messages here and the rest are continuing in my personal mail.   What a strange and unique bond between strangers/now-friends and sort of `family'.  *s*

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My New Years' message and request,  I sent this out in e-mail and thought that I would leave the message here to share with visitors too.

Subject: Please help them??????
To: "My Hearts' Treasures" < >
Dear Friends; A while back, I wrote to some of you, but not all, and asked that you please check out this address; 
Knowing full well that we all get more than we want of spamming and all manner of requests of us.   When I asked a few of you if you would join with me in a daily commitment to simply click once a day - a personal request that food be given to another human being somewhere on the earth which we share and can improve.... I seldom do ask such a thing as this commitment.... But today, my heart is heavy with the "Why not?" of it.    Most of you know me and know that I try to check out, as thoroughly as I can, all subject matter before I forward it.  That is my commitment and caring for,  each of you as dear friends.    I certainly don't have a "perfect" record of success - but not because I didn't try!  ~  I have checked every bit of this out and it is 100% legit'  ~ It is, and it does, exactly what it claims.  How could we pass up such a simple thing as a daily visit and click of a mouse-button to actually send the food portion of that day (I have seen it range from 3/4 cup all the way to 4 1/4 cups in a days' total amount sent per click.   I have been doing it for months now.   Please join me? 
  It cost us nothing whatsoever to give this food away. The simplest and effortless choice of making this site your "home" (browser page) as the option is so easy!   Then, every day it will open right there - you will click on the `donate' button and there you are, the food is on its' way.    It is done!   One second!  Then you're on your way and we're sharing in the caring that can make a life and death difference..... By making it your homepage which your browser begins with - you never forget (which gets easier and easier to do <forgetting things> as our brains get so crowded with the accumulation of intelligence and wisdom along the way life leads us. ~ Try it for a week? P-L-E-A-S-E???   And if you agree with me as to its' worth.... please exhort others to join us in this faithful commitment.  Let's join together and make a difference every day this year!   As I've been reflecting this week about the blessings of life and the hearts' desires for the coming year.  I love you all!    May you see the reality of His presence in your life and in those "others" who share our lives and journey..... May we, in our hearts and spirits and in all we do, represent Him to all every day, every moment and in every thought, word and deed.... I love you all, and am sending my best to you and will pray for you as we enter this next millennium.... What a wonder - we are privileged to be a part of the ending of one millennium, and the beginning of the next which others will see end long after we have transcended this life into eternity in His presence forever.    Have a mellow moment in time between the end and beginnings and may He be glorified in His creation in all things we chose and do.  
Yours because I'm His,   your Gypsy, (Nina) 
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From: (diana dahart)
Subject: Baby Jesus Birthday!
Hi Nina! and you are in my thoughts and prayers today.  I had made a note of your surgery date  (January 4th) months ago, but in the hectic last month, I forgot, and I am so very sorry. And I will continue to keep you in my prayers every day as you recover. You have faced so many painful ordeals (both physical and emotional), but I know Jesus is with you, and holding your hand!  ~  I received all your messages and am going into the hunger website every day...thank you for sharing that, and if all the others do the same, hopefully we can make a little teeny bit of a difference. If that -one- child can receive enough to make a difference between life and death, perhaps that -one- child may be the one to  eventually bring peace to his or her country, or though the intercession of caring people have an education and go forward to do great things!  I know I seem like Ms. Pollyanna, but I truly believe that.   ~  Christmas was good....the New Year exciting and thrilling (especially  watching all over the world!), and I  feel positive approaching this new century. What must someone, on the last day of 1899, thought of it changing over to 1900?! Who could have imagined that men would walk on the moon, and we  would have transportation as we do now, and  television, and computers!  Who could have anticipated the wars and the holocaust.   What does this century hold for us?   I guess we should  simply place our trust in God, and learn to love and forgive so much more than we do now!     ~   Big hug to you, and I will talk with you soon. Wish you a New Year full of blessings! Love, Diana 

Hello Diana;   Tuesday is my surgery date. Having both knees totally replaced
will mean 3 - 4 weeks in rehabilitation facility. Don't know if I will be that long though - for I am an avid come-back person-and have never, ever needed the rehabilitation services they sign me up for! Hopefully, I will only be two weeks - I certainly will be trying for the shortest stay, for Brandi has very extreme separation anxiety.   ~   I sent you three or four things over the last week but they were returned saying that your mailbox was too full. I hope that this will get through so that you will know of my absence.  ~  Well - take care, dear one. I hope to hear from you and get all caught up on your travels and experiences if you have time.
Love and hugs,  Yours because I'm His,  Your  Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: "Catherine Lamphier" <>
: our sons
My name is Wayne my son,  Wayne Jr. died in a motorcycle accident 9/25/95.  He was 22 years old,   the same as your son.  I am using my wifes' email address because I am a computer idiot.

Dear Wayne; 
I would hardly think that you are a "computer idiot"  if you find URLs, go surfing and send e-mail   *smiling*   ~  Having been away in hospital and rehab-center most of January and still not able to sit for long at a time or else my new  knees get painful or "locked" at this point in my recovery from the double total knee replacements.... It seems that I never responded to this message - for once I do, I enter them in the guestbook and clear the mail que..... I found no reply
and hope that if I did not reply, (as it appears here today)- you will please forgive the delay.  ~  I am sorry to hear of the loss of your son in that all too familiar (to me) and heart wrenching suddenness of a traffic accident. I hope that his was as merciful (and quick) as my Erics' absolutely instantaneous death on that night.   I know how you miss him and always will....  Thank you for writing to me after your visit. Love and hugs,   ~  Yours because I'm His, Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: "Manya Kellou" <>
Subject: Dear Nina  ~  I just read your message in MMIAS guest book about your darling son Eric. My heart is aching for you, I feel your pain and your infinite love for your son.  I thought I was the only one who could love so much, so deeply, so unconditional and the only who could suffer so much......but we are proving me wrong..just as millions of other mothers are proving me wrong. We are walking the same road, each of us alone, but the same road never the less.It is unfair, it is cruel, it is beyond any understanding, it is beyond the natural order of life.......however it is So.   I am so glad to see you are keeping Eric alive and your letter and web-site are a beautiful tribute him.  I really think that the bond mother-son never dies, if anything it is made stronger by the pain of their physical loss.   Do I make any sense?   I hope you are finding life a little easier to bear. I am at the very early stage of my loss, and it feels like I will never be sane again!!!!
With kind thoughts, Manya Kellou ~  Tarik's loving mom

My Dear Manya;   
Please, please forgive the long time - apparently, without 
response from me? I really do a lot of mail and I don't know if  I answered you and somehow it didn't get entered into the guestbook  log or what - and it seems that this is true of more than a few of  you - during the time of my surgery and recovery. I am only slowly  catching up now.  Every message is a treasure I cherish. Thank you so very much for blessing me with your kind and loving thoughts and words.   I would like to hear more of your experience and hope that as you continue on your way through the shadows in this valley of death,  you will remember that I am here and I care very much and will  always respond promptly and hopefully, be a blessing, comfort or source of strength if you need me in any way... I am here.   If it were not for the injury and subsequent immobility thereafter and  then the surgeries - there would not have been any delay at all in my response to you. I have been almost four years with this grief support site and never, until now, have I had to be away from the computer for an extended period as in the last two months.   ~  I know exactly how you feel about that "never being the same"  (though you referred to it as `sane'... I know that feeling!   And as for the closeness after our loved one is no longer in this realm with us.... Ah.... How well I understand that feeling too - for we carry them within us now and there are no conflicts or negatives - we carry them in love and cherish what they were and only the good  remains to share and give of them to others. We become more than just ourselves - we become them (in a small way) as we share them. ~  I hope that you are continuing to do well and will write to me any time you feel like it and know that I will care and respond in a much more prompt time than this reply! *S*  ~  You sound like such a loving and gentle soul... I rejoice that we were brought together in this way, time and place. Love and hugs,
Yours because I'm His, Your Gypsy, (Nina)

Dear Nina,   How are you doing with all this stuff that happened to you?   I hope you are recovering well of your injury and surgeries. Is it another test of your strength? How much can one person endure?   I admire your courage and draw a lot of strength from it.   ~   I am only responding now to your letter received on Feb 22nd   because my schedule was so busy,  my mood so unpredictable,  and the rest of it.  YOU  know what I mean!!    The last few weeks have been a nightmare of pain, the reality finally sunk it that my darling son will never come
back.. regardless of how long I kept his clothes stored at my place.   I had to give in to the sad, irreversible situation.    He is gone !     It hurts  and hurts and hurts!   I remember reading your poignant words about the loss of your precious son,   spoken from the depth of your heart and soul.   I can relate completely Nina.   ~   Thank you for your kind words,  your understanding and your willingness to share your thoughts with me.     It has been an amazing journey for me since my son's death.   So many people have offer their love and compassion and most of these are total strangers... met over the Net brought together by our loss and sorrow. Although our children are gone they certainly have left us with this unconditional love they taught us to experience.    Now that same unconditional love is shared with others in need and in pain...l ike you, me and some many more.   Many thanks for taking the time to write.   I have to go now because I am at work.. but I will get back to you as soon as possible.    I hope to hear from you ...  just a quick note to say hello.    I am thinking of you and wish you a very prompt recovery.   ~   Hugs,     Manya

Hello Manya;  
Nice to hear from you again. Being busy is good for us - I
am glad your job is keeping you out with others and busy!   ~   Re: your sons' clothes.    I am, even now,   wearing one of Erics'  denim shirts (because of the chill this morning.)    Sometimes I just need comforting presence of it over the back of my chair or hanging on the doorknob of my room.    I have given many of his clothes to those people that chose various items.   His grandfather was the same size and took many of the shirts and especially cherishes and always 
wears (when it's cold) the green Air Force jacket which Eric held so dear and loved wearing.     That sort of thing pleases  me.... for I feel fulfilled in a responsibility (self-appointed) to "adopt out")" his things where they will be appreciated most....   My fiance' is also Erics' size and chose  some of his shirts and the few pieces of jewelry ) tie tack and cuff-links, he had.   He looks great in them too.    ~   For almost two years, I had his denim pants and shorts and shirts that we washed `as usual'  from his dirty clothes basket when it arrived home via the friends who went to the college and cleared his room for me and brought his things home.... all folded and just sitting on the cedar chest next to the wall beside my bed where I could see them and feel a bit of the presence of their `owner'....    ~   I guess it is because he used to plan his purchases for months each year (on 
summer vacation) and then he would order in time for going back to college... He liked PENNYS' (big man) catalog (merchandise) because he could read all about each item and if necessary, check  it out at the Mall store.  ~   I also have one bookcase filled with his books (those latest acquisitions - not the childrens' books which, raising three children, left us with most of their classics as well as the school monthly "book club" purchases we always made...).   Those books fill an entire wall and part of another rooms' bookcase (all our rooms have bookcases!  *g*  !   ~   Eric loved Civil War books, poetry and philosophical as well as literature favorites.... and, a large collection of Garfield books (he loved that audacious cat!)    ~   Some of his Star-trek memorabilia/collectibles as well as `The Jets things' he liked to acquire now and then, and some other little things, remain `his'... Now and then a friend comes by to visit and some ask for a particular book or CD or T-shirt not yet "adopted"... and I am pleased to see them leave in caring hands and hearts who love and remember their good friend, Eric.   ~   So, you see... I'm sharing how `normal' it is to continue to hold on to some of what remains.   It has been 4 years next Saturday, since Eric graduated this life on his "Eternal Life  Birthday"... but in the bathroom, his favorite Batman towel still hangs on his towel-bar... The stick deodorant which I now and again use, is still not empty!    His favorite glasses (to drink from) - have graduated to become pencil holders and such around the house - at least one in every room.... Treasures to this day, cherished by us because he loved them above others.   I am comfortable with the memorabilia, memories and comfort I absorb from doing such things.   On the anniversary of  his death - we bake gingerbread and take to FREESOUL rock and scatter what remains after we have what we want of it... to let the little critters help us celebrate the one who by now is a part of every tree and plant growing there where they have their little `homes' and habitat in that beautiful and serene place.     This year, after being there, we (family) are meeting at our local Outback Steakhouse, (opened only two years ago)...  in honor of how well he loved their offerings... and we will each be sharing our favorite memories or anecdotes of Erics' life and our relationships and experiences with him.*s*    ~ It is comforting to all of us and we leave with a strengthened sense of what Eric gave to us and to the world he lived in and of the `wonderfulness' of his passage to that place we all look forward to... where we will be reunited and there will be no more partings and no more tears or even memories of painful or horrible `former things' of our mortal existence.   ~   This is a rather obsessive month for me... the forth "countdown"  of all the last things we did and said... but I find that I cry less and feel more of the genuine gratitude for the reality and the parting so that he could be "there".    ~   I hope that I have helped you with this sharing.    ~  Our loss is painful - but their gain is glorious and peaceful and if given a choice for him - I would not bring him back from there... It is a difficult thing to see prophecy and evil manifestations all around us and know the weeping and gnashing of teeth to come...  (to those who have not been born again).   It is happening even now around the world.    ~   Our sons are safe and spared all of that.  
~ ~ ~ I am walking unassisted.  I no longer use anything for pain except Jacuzzi baths which are miraculous in the recovery and in alleviating pain (even of Arthritis).    ~   Once you undergo  having your knees replaced - life changes for the remainder of  our time in this mortal flesh.    I am blessed that I have good
therapists and care aiding in my restoration of quality of life to an acceptable mobility, toning-up and strength.    Friends and family support me with their love and presence and special things we do during this lengthy recovery period.   ~   As for the trials of life and endurance - I do love that wonderful quote,
"That which does not destroy us, makes us stronger" and the similar spiritual one - "Life can make you either bitter, or better" - and YOU get to choose!   ~   Write whenever you have time or inclination.   I hope that the upcoming holidays will be bearable. I find them, perhaps because they were the first two right after Erics' death (Easter and Mothers' Day)... to be quite melancholic for me... I repeat over an over to myself - "Rejoice in all those years he was with you... rather than grieve over those since he no longer is here in a physical sense.... (but ever present in spirit soul!).    ~   Take care of you,  Love and hugs to a "mourning sister/mother",   
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy, (Nina)  

From: "Manya Kellou"
Subject: First spring without Tarik!!
Dear Nina,  My thoughts were with you on Saturday, remembering your darling son Eric.   Hopefully you had a peaceful day, filled with softness and lots of hugs from your loved ones and friends.   Glad to see that you are sort of mobile again.  Thank you so much for sharing with me your thoughts about Eric's belongings.
I can see that all of us heartbroken moms agonize over the same issues.    It is reassuring that I am not alone.    I have been wearing his jacket since his death...   Canadian Motorcycle Club brand, and boy do I get questions .     Am I a biker?   What is the connection with his famous club?    I answer the same every time.
It is my son's jacket!   Not more, not less... unless I know the people I don't give out details.    I also wear his denim shirts and sweatshirts, some of the socks I bought him from France... Bugs Burnny and Garfield cartoon characters stiched on th side of the socks...he loved them.    Now I wear them...although a little too big for my size 7 feet!!!!!   Tarik too adored that fat, lazy cat Garfield.   He has all the books, and when he was little he loved watching it on TV.   He also loved the Simpsons!!!    There are still boxes and boxes of his things in storage.   It might take a few years to get through them all.   I am glad of that, because it feels like I am releasing a little of him at a time.    *    Nina, this might be the last email for awhile.   Today is my last day of work for a few months.   I decided to take a medical leave until I feel a little better.    Since I do not have a computer at home, it might be difficult to communicate.   Should you have the inclination to write the old fashion way, please do not hesitate My address is Manya Kellou -
I will take leave now, with my warmest thoughts during this yearly painful reminder of your loss.   Many thanks for your kind words and your strength on which I draw when I feel really low.    May God bless you and your family. ~  Manya

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From: DiAnn Warren 
Subject: You Have A Beautiful Site
Just wanted to let you know that you have brightened my day. I have been feeling so alone and sad. I decided to check out some inspirational websites, if  I could find one.   You really surprised me!   I lost my beloved husband to cancer 14 weeks and now I find myself a widow at the age of 39 with 2 small children and today has been a rough one for some reason, but you have made me feel so much better. And the wierd thing is that as i signed on to e-mail this, the song in the background "Wind Beneath My Wings" was "our song" so I must thank you for helping me to realize that I will be O.K., and that he is with me in my heart, and that I will see him again some day. Thank you for helping me today. God Bless You.   ~  DiAnn Warren

Dear DiAnn;  
Whenever a visitor such as you, begins my day with the news that
God has used my loss, pain, and abiding trust and faith to bless a fellow sojourner - I rejoice again that He inspired and  sustained me to learn, create and maintain the site. I remember the grief that separates us from others for a time while we tend to find the most strength and solace principally from other grievers.  ~  In the first year we are so sorely challenged in facing all the "first-times" without our beloved one.... Certain "special' days are still challenging for me.... like Erics' earthly birthday and  his Eternal Life birthday.... We celebrate his life at both times.  We take "birthday" cakes to Freesoul and we eat some - and most of  it is scattered and tucked into rock crevasses to "share" with those who live right around that special beloved place.   ~  Remember that God has especially promised to be with widows and the fatherless children... He is close by you.... more so than at any other time.... He even led you to our site where we could meet and share. I hope that you will check out the Master Index and explore the variety of content which grew as I kept going and enjoying the new means of creativity and sharing with others.   ~   You have blessed me today.   At this time of year, I seem to go through a "countdown" (I call it) - and I find myself reviewing through the memories of the last things we did or said and the approach of another April first.... This year it seems incredible that it will be the fourth!    Sometimes it seems longer - sometimes like just yesterday...   ~   Thank you so much for writing to me. I hope you will remember that I am here and will be blessed to be of any help to you as you grieve - or as you celebrate the life, experiences and joy of the life and the relationship with your husband you shared as well. *s* It's odd, but it seems that most "others" begin to be discomforted by after a while,when we reminisce. Never heed others who counsel you to "move on" or "let go".   The memories are beautiful and comforting... Love never dies just because flesh fails to live... He lives in your heart and in the hearts of his children... the love you shared will wrap you in itself and support you in times when you feel alone without him.  ~  Gee,  I  - didn't mean to "go on" so here - but your fresh loss, combined with this years' "countdown" having already begun.... had me open to somehow really feel your new pain, loneliness and loss with you... and I hope that you will write if you feel lonely or in need.  ~  I embrace you with love in Christ and a sister in mourning,  ~ Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: Your site
I came upon your beautiful site while searching for poetry on abortion.   You 
see, I am the Director of a Crisis Pregnancy Center, and I do a lot of  speaking on abortion. I needed something to add to my speaches, so I came  looking.   I was very touched by your site, and can't wait to come back and  continue looking!
~Sherry, Ohio

Dear Sherry;  
I, too, am a supporter of our local Crisis-Intervention center.   Thank you for being a part of the group effort to save these small souls and help meet the needs of the parents where they need our emotional, mental and physical support.  ~  You are welcome to use anything you wish to share or use from  the site as well.    Thank you for writing to me, I am blessed whenever a visitor sends word and appreciation of our existence.  When I first set the site up when my son, Eric, was killed, it was to share his writings and the tragic waste of a life, love and talent which came about due to the carelessness of a homeowner and  building materials.   I told of the accident in hopes that  our sad story would perhaps prevent another such bizarre  accident and save lives and dreams from being so senselessly shattered and forfeit.  Eric loved to write and I shared his work so that his fervent desire that his work be read and known by others would not die with him.   Love and hugs,
Yours because I'm His, Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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Subject: PEACE
I just happened upon this website by pure accident.   I'm left with a very warm calm feeling. May u heal by the warmth of unknown friends.  ~  Thank you for sharing.    Peace,  Donna

Dear Donna;   
Thank you for writing and letting me know that you were blessed
in your visit. It is very healing and strengthening for me to hear from visitors and each time, to be reminded that our God  is using even the worst and most painful of tragedies, (in my own life) - for good in this world and in His time. You have 
blessed me today in hearing from you.   I hope you may return and  visit more of the site (which is almost 400 pages now!).
Yours because I'm His,  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: JoeandDawnSweda <>
Subject: AWSOME WORK!!!!!!!
I just wanted to tell you what an AWSOME site this is.    I have only begun to looking at a few of the choices and it has already touched my heart in so many ways..... I've laughed and cried!     What beautiful and creative work, this is an awsome tribute...  God Bless !!     ~   Sincerely~    Dawn Sweda ;-)

Hello Dawn;  
Please forgive the length of time before this response to your kind words. I got very far behind while in the hospital and then recovering from surgery. Still trying to keep up with the current mail and doing some of the backlog each day as well.   I'm almost caught up now.   I hope that you continue to explore and enjoy our cyber-home from time to time. I haven't been working with new additions yet this year but soon I will be.
Love and Hugs,   Yours because I'm His,   Your Gypsy,  (Nina) 

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From: "austin shamblin" <>
Subject: In His Mercy
Meger words of comfort will fall far short in filling the void left by the passing of your loved one. Let me, in recognition and deep sensitivity to your grief, point out that God has given us two things to help us over these times of bereavement:  First: He gives us time. Time has a way of bringing healing even if it doesn't bring a full understanding. As time passes the hurt decreases.   ~   Second: God has given us himself in the form of his son Jesus who beckons -- "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest."   ~   My prayer is that Jesus will wrap his loving arms of comfort, peace and understanding around your shoulders during the next few days and weeks of your loneliness.  ~   Austin

Dear Austin;   
Thank you for writing to me your spiritual words of comfort and
uplifting from The Word. You are right. He sustained me from those first terrible moments when I was told until now and He will forever continue to support me as I continue to serve Him  until that glad day and forever of reunion and eternal life begins.  ~  It has been almost four years now - and still.... I grieve and long
for that reunion with Eric and with our Father.  ~  Please forgive the long delay in responding - I am only now just "catching up" with my page mail and updating the guestbook.   I was most of January in the hospital and rehab-center (a bilateral total knee replacement surgery). I cannot sit for long yet as the new knees prefer that I be moving about.... This too will pass... Thank you again for your message,
Yours because I'm His,    ~  Your Gypsy, (Nina) 

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From: (Blue Eyes)
Mrs.  Baker,   I do not know how you lost your precious child I only know that he is gone and for that i am truely sorry!   I saw the web page you made and must encourage you to make many more.    It  was a blessing to my eyes.  Thanks   ~   Some1Special

Hello Some one special;  Thank you for writing to me and extending your condolances. The whole story of how and when Eric was killed, is online already.
I don't know which section you read, but also, there are some hundreds of pages already created - so if you return, you will find that I have continued adding pages and cagtegories for four years. I doubt I will stop as long as I am able to continue, for I have found much solace and healing in reaching out to others and in the creativity of webmastering.   ~   Currently, I have just returned from a three week hospital stay after having both knees totally replaced. It is a long way from here to productivity at this point - so forgive the untimely response - I usually reply within a few days.
Yours because I'm His,   Your Gysy, (Nina) 

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