From: Kerstin Zetterman k_zetterman@hotmail.com
Subject: July 1, 1999
Hello, This is awkward for me since I don΄t know you in person or even live on the same side of the world. Still I feel the need to express my gratitude in coming across your homepage on the Internet. My name is Kerstin Zetterman and I am 36 years old. I am married and have two girls and the whole family lives here in the capital of Sweden, Stockholm. Since I came across your homepage today, July 1, and read the wonderful things your son wrote and knowing what happened to him and to your whole family, I would like to thank you for sharing your experience. Sitting in front of my PC thousands of miles away, across a big, wide ocean I can still feel the closeness in the bond with your son and the love that surrounds it. For this I am grateful and just wished to tell you so and let you know you and your son touched a soul far away and she is happy you did.
Yours sincerely, ~ Kerstin Zetterman

Dear Kerstin;
What a gentle and comforting message to find on this day from you, (it is Erics' birthday and I go to "Freesoul Rock" each year to release balloons, one for each year that I havebeen his mother, and of course, the
"One Red Rose".
-------------
JUST ONE RED ROSE
by Nina Roberta Baker, 1996
Just One Red Rose....
A Token Of ~
My Heart, My Soul
And So Much Love.
Not Just For You,
But From You Too,
And The Unbroken Bond
Between Me And You....
Just One Red Rose,
Left Here Today,
A Small But Heartfelt
Way To Say, ~
Though Death And Separation
Makes Me Cry,
The Love We Shared
Will Never Die!
------------
It seems that each and every year, there is one extra-special message sent from someone on his birthday and on Mothers' day. Yours, though not the only one, was ~the~ special one this year. Thank you with all my heart. It doesn't seem possible that this will be the forth such celebration of the love and joy he brought to me as a mother and even just as a human being and sharing the close friendship we also had). This year we will stay and have a picnic lunch too- for the weather is lovely and inviting. Freesoul is just a few miles from our home, so I go there whenever I feel the desire to be there. It was our custom to do that for all of his life. There is a warm and comfortable feeling in knowing that one day when I join him in Eternity, what I leave behind will join what he also left behind and become a part of so beautiful and magnificent a place of tranquility for as long as the earth abides. *s* We will have both physical and spiritual reunions one day.... Thank you again for writing to me. You have comforted and blessed me with your sincerity and warmth on this special day, Kerstin.
God has blessed us together this day, With Love, Nina

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Date: Thursday, July 1, 1999 18:19:51 -0400
From: luna
luna@qn.net
My love is with you my dear sister.................... I just cannot imagine what it has been like, but I will never forget when it happened... I was there.
I love you, Luna

Date: Thursday, July 1, 1999 19:16:09 -0800
Subject: Re: For the fourth July 1, without Eric
Hello: Storms have passed, so I'm catching up here. Yes, dear cyber-sister, we go all the way back to my first chatting days when we were room-mates in 50+ Chatroom! *G* ~ I remember that you were "there" then, and have remained "here" with me always since... I love you! and thanks...
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)

Date: Thursday, July 1, 1999 19:59:56 -0400
Subject: Re: For the fourth July 1, without Eric It is not a hardship at all being your friend and loving you...   you are "one" special lady!!!!!! It has been storming here too, but it doesn't cool off.... have a good evening.......
Your Sister, Luna

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From: "Art & Cathy" artcath@stormnet.com
Subject: Happy Birthday Eric
My Special Friend, ~  I visited your site once again today and as before was moved to tears. Words seem so inadequate and even if they weren't I don't know the right ones anyway. I'll just say that I am with you in spirit on this difficult day and I'm so thankful for Gods direction in leading me to your site. If only the world knew the meaning of love as you do. ~ Art

Dear Art (& Cathy); Thank you so much for your empathy and your "warm fuzzies" yesterday. It was a beautiful day in all and I feel blessed by the love and compassion of dear friends who reach out and hug me from afar. *S* A lot of catching up to do around here and some preparations for the Fourth, and the 6th is my own birthday and the family will gather in evening to share that day (and I am being taken to our family-favorite Chinese restaurant. *S* Brandi went with Peach yesterday and bought my BD present and she is so excited that her eyes are brilliant with joyful and eager anticipation of the day she can give it to me! *G* The greatest joy of all is her joy in the giving. Eric was like that too - not to say that my two daughters aren't joyful givers (!) - but Eric and Brandi have a lot of the same character-traits which every parent hopes to instill in the children God loans and entrusts to us here on earth. Whatever it is - she is certainly thrilled  about it. She said she had a difficult time finding it - but that I am just going to LOVE it - and when she speaks those words, she kind of squeals with emotion that makes her like an excited puppy (wriggling all over) *RVBG!* To see this kind of joy in giving is so precious - more even than whatever the actual gift could be! I am so blessed! Summer is such an outdoor-time that I don't get to be "online" much - for by the time we come indoors and eat, it is already bedtime! *S* ~ Looks like more rain today - we need it in such a bad way! The water table is so low now that many wells are simply going dry altogether. I heard a cute way of putting it a few days ago, "It's so dry around here that the cows are giving evaporated milk and trees are whistling for the (male) dogs to come piss on them! <excuse the crudeness, but that's the way I heard it, and I'm quoting!!>! *giggle* ~ Our pool holds about 15,000 gallons, so we have a reserve, *G* ~ Take care dear friend. Thank you for the "strokes" - I really do feel your love and sincerity of comfort and prayer! Like you, I thank God for the dear souls He bonds me with even around the world (or the other side of the U.S.A.).      Here are links to a few of Erics' writings appropriate for this holiday weekend (just in case you never got there to see them before now.  AMERICAN DREAM ~ ECOLOGY  ~ 1840 ~ VIETNAM VET
~ Love, prayer and hugs
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: "Schoenmaker" shoes@eisa.net.au 
Subject: Eric  ~  Hello Dear Nina, It's been a long time I know. I won't go into excuses on this day. Just want to say I am thinking of you and Eric, the bond you shared and still share. Your a courageous woman in every sense of the word, you have made a celebration of Eric's life and passing. You don't ask us to feel pity, though we share your sorrow, all you ask is that we get to know your treasured son, know that he walked this earth and gave great joy in his short life time. I am sure he looks down, not only lovingly at his mother, but with real joy and pride in her ability to share his life with so many and in doing so keep his memory alive and her heart from breaking in two. God Bless you Nina, Enjoy your picnic with Eric and know my thoughts are with you.   ~   Love, Jazmine.
http://members.tripod.com/~JAZMINE_2/index-4.html

My dear Jasmine; Love and friendship need not ever make excuses - for none is necessary or expected. I guess that the key word is expect. One should never impose expectations on relationships - then you are always delighted at whatever comes.... I am always happy to hear from you. You are such a very special person. *S* Thank you for touching base with me on this day (and all days)... for I feel your presence on earth and in the soul of life - whether in e-mail or spirit... I have been concerned and hoping that you are not getting worse. I know that when you feel like talking or sharing, you will, and so I just keep you in prayer and send love and peace through our angels who, I am sure, know each other and keep in touch. *s* ~ It is late and I am weary from the intensity of pain in the excursion - but it is an "ok" pain - you know? The kind you don't mind creating in doing something you want very much to do... and are just glad that you succeeded. *s* I have an idea that you understand what I mean. *melancholy smile* Pain creates a bond between people who share that fate/experience. Like AA or any of the other "groups" - it is the understanding which comes of true empathy and like-experiences and endurances. Catch me up on you when you are up to it - Okay? I care! Love and hugs from here to there,
Yours because I'm His, Your GYPSY, (Nina)

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Subject: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NINA!
From: "Don and Nancy Blythe"
beepsandnan@ac.net 
Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 01:25:13 -0400
Happy Birthday Nina! I just stumbled into your site tonite and discovered that this your birthday! I hope this is a very happy day for you to share with all your family--- You are so fortunate to have them living near to you. I was born in Chicago, too, in January of 1933 so I am 10 whole years older than you! I have 10 grandchildren and #11 is due at Christmas but they all live in Annapolis, Baltimore, New Jersey and Chicago but I do see them all several times a year. My husband and I just came back from a family visit to Chicago and I always love going back there---I grew up in one of the north suburbs and it is just coincidence that one son and his family are back living there now. To substitute for my distant grandchildren I volunteer in the nursery here in Pinehurst taking newborn babies pictures and doing their hearing screening tests. I love it so much!   ~   The Shenandoah Valley is one of our favorites and we travel thru there often on our visits north. It is truly special every season of the year and we always look forward to it's never ending beauty. You are a beautiful person, Nina, and I pray that God will continue to bless you and watch over you all the days of your life!
Love, Nancy from North Carolina

Hello Nancy; Isn't the cyber-community wonderful? I love the way we can really reach out to strangers, make friends and have close relationships through the wonderful age of technology. It is like a little foretaste of the eternal life and inter-connectedness that I believe we will have `then & there'. *S* What a wonderful way to fill your time and empty arms - also, a very nice way of honoring your own children and grandchildren by passing your love for them along to others.... That's so special! *warm smile* And what a nice thing to receive on my birthday, an outstretched hand of fellowship from a new friend... You! Thank you for the soft/warm words and the birthday greeting. *S* It's been a very nice birthday. Since you pass through here, perhaps we will even have an opportunity to meet *IRL* one day! Hope to hear from you again sometime.   ~  Love, prayer and hugs,
Yours because I'm His, Your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: SPIRITCALL@webtv.net   (Debbie Markley)
Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 00:10:29 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: How Very Beautiful..
Viewing your special place gave me the longing for my home. I've Always loved Gods' special place. I lost my dear father two years ago and I still miss him dearly. Now at any time my heart crys with pain I can now go viset him at this special place. MY dad used to sing that song to me when I was growing up. How it broght back so many loving memories.Thank you for touching my soul and bringing a smile to my heart where there were tears.May the wings of eagles grace you each and every day as they carry our prayers and thoughts to the sky where our forefathers' Great SPIRITS now rest. Someday I too will look forward to the beautiful place to call home...  ~  Spiritcall Cactus.....

Hello Debbie, (SpiritCall Cactus) Are you of Indian descent ? - or just in spirit. (I think most of us feel the haunting, melancholy call of Indian heritage and spirit in this land). I am so glad that you found the picture. There are 4 more views here.........
FREESOUL & LINKS < Lots of great direct links>. And here is a link to my all-time favorite Indian-site, 'SheoWolf' . Thank you for writing and sharing that you were blessed in visiting with me. I hope you will return and discover other things to enjoy in the future..... there is such a variety to discover wandering around all over my site. *S* Do you have a URL yourself?  ~  
Love and hugs, Yours because I'm His, Your GYPSY, (Nina)

From: SPIRITCALL@webtv.net  (Debbie Markley)
Subject: WHO AM I?
I often ask myself who am I? As I feel a spirit in me ask why? Am I one who lived in the past? Are these feelings that will last? AS I ASK WHO AM I? My heart crys for the one who lived within me, as her spirit reaches out to be free. Dreams so real, a way to heal. AS I ASK WHO AM I? There are wounds and fears, as I dream with tears. I cry GREAT SPIRIT hear my plea, as it brings me closer to Thee. AS I ASK WHO AM I? MY brothers, sisters and mother earth who walk next to me, open my SPIRIT so I can see. Give me visions to guild my way , as you give me strength each and every day. AS I ASK WHO AM I? Who am I/ I'M A PROUD NATIVE AMERICAN!! (c) copywrite Debbie Markley. Yes I am of Native Descent. But since my dad passed to the GREAT SPIRIT my spirit has come more alive as he visites me in his own special way. I know deep in my heart how the loss of your son has caused you to live thru him. I read the letters and they reached my soul. The song You are my hero was the one I played for my dad from me. I went and had a BEAUTIFUL EAGLE tatoo on my back with the saying "YOU ARE MY HERO". Thank you for bringing such peace to my soul. May mother earth and the GREAT SPIRIT bring many smiles to your heart. SPIRITCALL (Debbie)   ~   Spiritcall Cactus.....

From: SPIRITCALL@webtv.net  (Debbie Markley)
Subject: Dear Dad...
I'm sending this letter by special mail, on the wings of an angel it will sail.You left so quick without a good by, I ask myself "Why-God-Why?". There was so much I wanted to say, as I wonder why you left this way. You looked so peaceful as you were laid to rest, but maybe your leaving this way was the best. You're happy now without pain or sorrow, and don't even have to worry about tomorrow. This is a trip we all must take, it's a part of life for heavens' sake. When my time comes, you be at heavens' gate, and please dad don't be late, Dad there will be times the pain will be hard to bear, but I'll stop and think of the times we shared. I want you to know you'll be sadly missed, and I've sealed this letter with a kiss . Dad, I just wanted you to know when I think of your special place above, I'll think of you and our love.   So, I'll sign off with all my love, as I'm hoping to see you soon above. Your loving daughter, Debbie,   ~   (C)DEBBIE MARKLEY
Dear Nina and Eric, I visited you again today and read even more about you and Eric. Eric was a special gift from God sent here to do what He knew would touch the hearts of peole who needed the special gift that Eric had. You too, are so blessed to have experienced the years by his side and even now as he walks by your side, You both have blessed a special corner of my heart. Both of your writtings come deep from your most inner souls, just like my inner spirit. TRUE SO VERY TRUE WORDS!!! You're in my thoughts and prayers, even more so now... take care my spirit friends......
,SPIRITCALL(Debbie) ~ Spiritcall Cactus.....

Hello Again, Debbie;
That was a nice letter to your dad. I know it must have helped you a lot to write it. Erics' obituary was in the form of a letter from me to him... a way of saying the "Goodbye" that we never had... not really "Goodbye" though, more of a "Fare-thee-well until we meet again" message. Thank you for sharing more with me. I enjoy your messages and hope that our communications bless you as well. Time is short this morning, for the wonderful "break" in our weather here - provides good opportunity to get some gardening caught up! It's been hotter than I ever remember it being in my entire life! It was difficult just to breathe it in. Write again when you feel like it - *S*.   ~  Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: UncleHenry@webtv.net 
Subject: Hi. ~ This is a really beautiful site. ~ Thank You.

Thank you very much, `Uncle Henry'.
Yours because I'm His, your Gypsy, (Nina)

From: ANGELEYES-7@webtv.net 
Subject: PRAYER
AMEN.....Thank you for sharing! Love and prayers eternally.

Thank you for visiting and signing in.
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: "Mary Barota" greatlakes@modempool.com     
Subject: ERIC'S PAGE
I am writing to say to you that I have read just a few pages of Erics' tribute and am deeply moved. I intend to read all and pass it on to my family and friends. A task well dond, mother. A fine tribute to a shining star. Hope to meet him someday in Paradise.   
Your friend from Jackson, Michigan.... MARY

Thank you, Mary; For taking time to share your visit and opinion/appreciation with me. I know also, that we will certainly meet in Paradise. *S* See you there....
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: "Conrad Hein" <chein@cadvision.com
Subject: Angels  
Hi:  I'm doing a little study on cherubs and was wondering if you could tell me a bit of the history, or if you know of any web sites that deal with the religious aspect of them. Thanx so much for your time!  ~ Conrad

Hello Conrad; I entered "cherubs" into search engines and find that there are
a wealth of links for you to check out. Summer is a very busy time for me and I'm not online much except to maintain the grief support ministry on my URL, and answer e-mails, so I  could not check them out. On my URL, there is a SEARCH ENGINE page for you to try - I particularly like the WEBSCRUBBER one. I DO know that there is a lot of "new-age" type of crossover in these days, of goddesses and angels. I do not believe that any
angels are spoken of in the entire bible, as having wings - and  when a `gender' is mentioned - it is ALWAYS male. As for cherubs, THEY do have wings - but no genders. I have been doing a study on angels - but set it aside for the summer. When I complete it,  I will publish it in the spiritual section of my website.  Spiritual <Writings and poetry> and Lighting the Darkness
are  indexes of some of these.     I would be interested in anything you gather in your search, I too, have been studying this topic for nearly two years..  If you have a URL or would share via e-mail - I would really like (and appreciate) to know what you find. 
~~~~~~~waving Bye for now   ~  
Yours because I'm His,  your GYPSY, (Nina)

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BUSTELLA@webtv.net  (bustella Ruth)
Subject: hi nina
I loved your page and hope God may continue to bless you and yours bustella@webtv.net.

Hello
,  Thank you for writing when you visited. Please forgive the length of time for my response, somehow, I must have missed your message until now.
Yours because I'm His,   your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: OTre387698@aol.com
Subject: SIGN GUEST BOOK
Tears filled my eyes as I read your posts.  I have Lupus and now vasculitius.  Thanks for making my day a little brighter.   God bless you and strengthen you.

Dear OT <?> ~ Thank you for writing to me. I know that both conditions you are dealing with are painful, limiting and debilitating. I am sorry that you are in that condition... I think that Lupus (and it's "sister" conditions), are about the worst of all things with the exception of Alzheimers. They alter everything about your life and relationships. How wonderful that you have chosen to venture out into cyber-world where you will experience and enjoy many things not otherwise readily or comfortably available  to you. God bless you and strengthen you moment by moment. I applaud your venturing! *smiling* Love and hugs to you,
Yours because I'm His,  your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: Sugar52-@webtv.net      
Your page is beautiful,i was awed at the picture,i hope you click on my banner and visit mine,             Love,   Sug

Hello Sug; I did go and visit some - but not all, I am not online as often as in  winter. I am an outdoors person and also raising a grandchild (Brandi is almost 10)... so summer is not a "free-time" for me! *S* I will return to do
it all and to sign your guestbook.   Hope that you will visit again. I read that you have lost a child? I would be interested to hear about your loss. My
site was primarily started when I lost my (almost) 23 year  old son, Eric in a tragic accident just before he was to graduate college and go on to William & Mary for his post-grad 2 years and degree. That was 1996, and I had just wanted to publish some of his writings and poetry, and pay tribute to all that he was and gave to be shared.    The site just keeps growing. A lot of others who grieve share in my unique type of guestbook (I am on #17) now! The ministry of grief support just grew of itself - and it has blessed me and many others now. If you would like to share your own loss or contribute your opinions about any of the other myriad of categories my site now encompasses, please do. *G!* We seem to have many things in common. I really enjoyed the "If you love Jesus" banner/link! I'd never run into it before and intend to join. Thank you!  Hope to hear from you again,  
Yours because I'm His,  your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: stormy222@webtv.net 
Subject: Pansies......
Dear Nina,  What a beautiful poem !!!! And you know what, it made a lot of sense. I really enjoyed running across it !!!!   I can only say keep up the good
work . Will be looking forward to seeing more......Thanks for allowing me to be able to visit your page...............stormy

You are most welcome, Stormy; You will find other spiritual offerings from:
Spiritual ~ Prayer ~ Spiritual/lighting    Our site is hundreds of pages of a large variety of topics and interests. I hope you will check more of it out. Thank you for sharing your appreciation.
Yours because I'm His,   your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: "Steve & Pat Pegram" pegrams@nceye.net 
Subject: THANK YOU!
I just want to thank you SO very much! My husband and I have been searching for years for the "Pastor's Resume!" Many years ago, my husband's dad gave him "The Apostle Paul's Resume." Somehow, and over the years, we lost that little piece of paper, which his Dad gave to him. My father-in-law has since died.      ~  I am teaching our last lesson, in VBS, tonight and the lesson is dealing with the Apostle Paul.   I desperately wanted to read Paul's Resume to the class. I would say that it was "by chance" that I found this on your Website, but I know it must have been the Lord who lead me to your site. I did not give up. Time after time, I went from one search engine to another, trying to find "someone" who had what I needed! I had no idea what the correct title was or how I would find it. I just kept typing in "The Apostle Paul's Resume"   and, soon, I was directed to your Website!    Because of you, not only will I be able to use this tonight, but you have "given back" to me and my husband, the words to that "long lost little piece of paper," which his Dad gave to him, many years ago!   ~   My husband is a Southern Baptist Minister/Pastor and loves preaching the life of the Apostle Paul, also! This, newfound, "letter from Paul" will make his day! I am teaching the Adult VBS and my husband is in our class. I think I will just "surprise" him with this, as I read it tonight!  ~  I LOVE your Website. I did not have time to go through it all, this morning, but DO plan to go back to it as soon as I can! (After VBS is over ;~) The parts I saw were WONDERFUL!  ~  Thank you SO much, again....AND thank you for your "TESTIMONY!"    ~  In Christ, Pat

Dear Pat;    Thank you so very much for sharing me.  It was a great blessing to hear how very much it blessed you to find what you were looking for, for so long. I know that you know exactly what I mean when I say that it thrilled me to hear how God used me to fulfill a need - particularly in someone such as you, who wanted to give it to others - for then it is just going to go on and on blessing others and I am just a tiny little part of that in Gods' design.   To serve Him is the greatest thrill I know.   Since you are a ministering family, you may wish to check  out the heart of my site - which is grief support. The 
guestbook is more of a life bulletin-board - messages from and to, sheep who are wounded or in need. It began when my soulmate/son, Eric, was killed in 1996 in a tragic accident just before graduating from Ferrum college in Virginia. He was a writer, and I set the site up to publish some of his work and a tribute and memorial to his life and gifts. It had been very healing and strengthening to set about constructing a site at the time. It was challenging &
at the time, I really needed to be "challenged" out of my overwhelming grief and set about allowing God to use "all things for good".   ~    Thank you again, for sharing about yourselves and the joy you felt in finding what I also hold dear (the resume) and like to share with others. *S*   It gave me "goosebumps" as I read of how you are going to surprise him tonight! *rvbg!* I am so very happy at the thought of it! (grinning).  Hope to hear from you again sometime. Do you, or does your   church, have a website?
Love in Christ,  ~  Yours because I'm His,    your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: "nibbles" nibbles@erols.com 
Subject: web site
Hello gypsy, I just finished your web site.     I am so very sorry for your loss. what an exceptional young man! God, in his wisdom, has the answer, although I must admit, his choices leave us wondering. my daughter is leaving for Saudia Arabia this coming Monday, and I feel empty knowing that I won't be able to see or talk to her for quite a while.     I can only imagine how you feel. you did a wonderful job on your web site and I know it gives comfort to others that have lost a loved one. A very loving mother and friend.  ~ Nibbles


From: "Erik Rosenstein" stuun@hotmail.com  
Subject: Hello  ~  Hi. You do not know me.. I landed on your page by accident.. All I can say  is that I am sorry about Eric. I recently lost the one person whom I have cared most about in my life, I cant even believe she is gone. When I entered your page, I started reading all you wrote, and I cried like I have very few  times. I dont know what to say. Just thank you for what you have done.   ~   Be strong.    ~   Erik Rosenstein

Hello Erik; Thank you for writing to me and sharing.   I know exactly what you mean about the sense of it being unbelievable that your loved one is gone from here. Here it is, almost 3.5 years and I still feel that. There are times when it can wash over me and I am engulfed with the grief as fresh as if it were only last night when I was awakened and told that Eric had been killed hours before.      I used to think that it would get better - but I find that isn't the case. We go on, and we get busy with life and responsibilities which surround us in the present,   but there area also those times when only the grief seems real and the rest of life seems remote and secondary to the
death....   ~  It helps me a lot to be blessed in being able to have Erics'
presence in the world and his contributions of thoughts and feelings in his writings - continue to touch others... for it was his greatest desire to be "heard" and known and perhaps to make a difference in some ways in the lives of others. He  is doing that all the time now.   ~   I am glad that you found my webpages and hope that you will take time again to see more of it and perhaps it will assuage your grief somewhat. Please write again if you would like  to share more... I care, I really do. I would like to know more about your experience too. Sometimes it's the smallest thought or feeling shared by another grieving person, which has the ability and effect of helping us to heal. ~   Love and prayers,
Yours because I'm His,   From your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: samesam@webtv.net  (Samuel Cernuto)
Subject: Saying 
There's   a saying that goes something like this,    May we all have,  Journeys to come,  Places to go,  Things to see,  People to hug,  Time to rest,  Hands to hold,  Books to read,  and no more regrets.....  Sam


Thank you for sharing that, Sam.  
Yours because I'm His,    your GYPSY, (Nina)

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From: "Karen Reynolds" Horsemustang@pcis.net 
Subject: brown recluse
I have found this so interesting the information you have written about MSM, but one of the things I found incorrect and there may be others is that brown recluse spiders don't kill you.   We have them all over Missouri and even the conservation department will tell you that they don't kill you.  This is in response to one of your testimonials.  Thank-you, and still reading, Karen
~*~
Dear Karen;  That is interesting and I'm glad that you shared the information
with me about the spider. I didn't write the testimony or the various articles regarding MSM. As I explained in the beginning  of the report, I researched and shared results of the study so that others would have an idea of what it is and from there, I hope that they will be interested and continue to do even more  research for their own edification.   Personal testimonials were taken from the doctors' published book on MSM (in which those testimonials were chosen by him and included in his publication).   However, since your response interested me, I clicked on my MS Bookshelf and checked the info there which, *FYI*  is:
------------
"brown recluse spider: brown recluse spider or violin spider, poisonous nocturnal spider, Loxoceles reclusa, most common in the SE and S central U.S. Adults are 3/8 in. (10 mm) long and are light brown with a dark,
violin-shaped mark on the back near the head. In humans their venom 
kills the tissue surrounding a bite and leaves a deep sore, but only
rarely does a bite result in death.  *The Concise Columbia Encyclopedia is licensed from Columbia University Press. Copyright © 1995 by Columbia University Press. All rights reserved."
----------------------
Yours because I'm His,   your GYPSY, (Nina) 
~*~
From: "Karen Reynolds" Horsemustang@pcis.net 
Subject: found more
On part two<MSM> by Mindell, Sulphur sets world on fire, under the start of it and go down 10 paragraphs, it says not much on this mineral in Broccoli, then under 'What is MSM?' it says Broccolli has high concentration of this mineral. Getting frustrated at reading contradictory material. Any comments? ~ Karen
~*~
Yes, Karen, I have some comments on your complaint/criticism on the doctors' article.   ~  Comments;
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#1 - The vegetable you refer to is not spelled "Broccolli" and is not a proper noun and therefore is not capitalized.   The proper spelling is broccoli . (*tongue-in-cheek* here)
#2 - Your comment here "
it says not much on this mineral in  Broccoli", if what you meant to say was `OF' - rather than `ON ~ (typo on your part?) when you quote the authors' words.... where he speaks of broccoli, he does NOT say that there is "not much" MSM in broccoli as you imply. Perhaps you read in haste? What he it DOES say is that there is LESS of it in that vegetable than "in animal protein foods such as meat, fish, poultry, eggs and milk.     
#3 - Then, when he speaks of the high levels of MSM in broccoli,  he also reminds the reader that water and cooking destroy much of the MSM that IS there.   ~    To prepare that report to encourage others to learn about the importance and benefits of MSM, I read literally thousands of  references obtained through books and also online with search engines. I simply chose from my notes, portions of my study to spark that interest which could make a difference in their lives and the lives of others they might continue the sharing with.  If I had found contradiction or error, I would not have thought to correct or misquote any writings of others. If it were a glaring error, I would have excerpted the reference.
Yours because I'm His,     Your GYPSY, (Nina) 

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<Snipped identity for obvious reasons>
From `ZC' ~ Subject: Pain  9/24/99
(If anyone would like to write a message to this visitor,  I will forward to them,  but of my own concern for her privacy- although she did not ask for anonymity,  I felt it safer that she have that here.  If you contact me,  I will send to her and she can decide how she feels about being in communication with anyone else at this time in her life.   If you feel compelled to communicate with her - please do not let the opportunity to reach out to her pass)
Dear Nina, I enjoyed your site very much.   I struggled whether I should e-mail u or not because my circumstances were different than yours.   But pain is pain regardless of how it occurred.   And too, I  have not found a site for the things that happened to me.    I am a Christian who at one time had such a beautiful walk with the LORD but because of being
raped during my private time of praise and prayer with the LORD I have lost that intimacy. I am on my way back but it seems like such a long way still to go.    So many lies have come as a result of that incident that at times I do not think that I can go on.   But GOD is good.   Somehow each day even though I do not look forward to it, God gets me
through it.    My dream, my goal is to be able one day to be glad once again that I am here. to wake in the morning with joy.   ~   <snipped> ~`Z'

Dear `Z' ~ Don't believe that I have ever met anyone with your name before.
A nice one.   Please forgive the weeks which have passed between your message
and this reply. You have been on my mind from the first time I read your message. I am praying that you will soon experience  a reconnection with our Savior and Shepherd.  I find that His presence is even more "knowable" when we fall into suffering and pain of experiences such as yours.... For all light shines brightest in the darkness that comes of such times... Sometimes, though, there is that ages-old darkness that envelops us, the darkness and loneliness which comes when we do not understand or  even believe that He is there... if we believe that.... we do not see or feel Him.   Also, there can be anger toward God that
we do not recognize. When we do come to recognize that anger...  when we face that we have in our hearts, a question that we sometimes dare not even own.... "Where were YOU, God, when  this happened? If You love me - Why did You let it happen?   How  could You?" With such questions... and the usurping of faith which comes when we come to believe that either He didn't care, or wasn't there... we feel as alone as Christ Himself did when, from the Cross...    He, too cried out and felt forsaken as He suffered physical and Spiritual pain of the sin which He took upon Himself (our sin, which He willingly took) and which separated Him from God (for ALL sin separates us from God) just before He died there in that atonement....     He, like you, did not deserve anything like the things which happened to Him in this fallen world where evil men/women hurt and kill in their thirst and greed for carnal and physical gratifications and power.....  He never said that He would intervene and take away the  free will He gave us with our lives.... But, `Z', what He DID say,  and never fails to do, is that He was right there with you...   Satan tries to blind us to that with his accusations whispered to us against God.   But, He was there. That experience which wounded you so terribly, wounded Him as well.   Have you ever observed  suffering which you could not alter or comfort or change in any way?    Did you not suffer acutely in the helplessness and impotence of the situation? He suffers when we do. He does not cause it.   But when we were sent from Eden, it was to this world where evil is free to do its' will and there are victims who suffer the consequences of  all sorts of things. Look at the innocent babies murdered every single day - every hour... And He sees... and people accuse Him of not caring.   But, the free will He gave, He gave to all - even the person who is doing the harm to others.   And.... then there is another place where He told us that we
have not because we ask not. Most people tend to think that He meant  for us to just pray to Him to do something. But I believe that the asking is also the reaching out as you have done with me.... And that is not easily done - for people are greatly reluctant to do that....
and it is also why others do not minister to them - for they often aren't even aware of the need. But when you reach out Zan, He can and He does, use His willing servants to minister to the needs of  our brothers and sisters. That is how He intends for us to grow in
love and humility and to depend on Him. This way - we are all exercising our free will to serve Him... and He can use us.   He has prepared a place for us for all of eternity, and we know that He is taking us there forever.   This time here, is so short' in its' measure against that. But what happens to us is not nearly so lasting as what we choose afterward, to let that violation rob us of eternal life or even present joy.... or to allow Him to fill us with
the power and grace of love and forgiveness by which we grow ever more like Christ. that love is pure and straight from the throne and Him who sits upon it.   To forgive a transgression upon us, whether by accident or by choice to hurt us and use us.... is to come apart from the world even while still in it, to rise above our finite and earthly limitations and
become free even while still here... is true freedom and grace abounding and which can never be taken from us by any happenstance.    If you can, but stretch yourself above/ beyond the darkness of the thing which happened and by which, Satan seeks to own you and intercept  and obliterate the light of His presence.... you will be healed and the
effect which Satan seeks will fall away. 
It is not an easy thing to do when pain and confusion enshroud you.   I  really do know that. As you said,   all "pain is pain", whatever the source.   But it is also where we find the source and power which ever flows from Him to sustain us through it. In those first moments when I stood hearing that Eric was dead.... I died.    I truly did. And in a way - that is true when ever something so traumatic happens to us - for the person we were,
the moment before... does die.   The next moment, we are a new person...never ever to be the same.    But, dear `Z'.... we can choose what and who we will be from that moment, or from any particular moment between one and the next.    You can choose, right now, to let Him fill you and make you new - free at last from the sin of another who violated you. The violation was terrible, yes.... But to have it cripple you afterward is to remain its'
victim and renew its' power over you and your life with every breath you take under that influence which seeks to keep you apart from God and from your life and freedom.... That act can imprison you forever - but only if you cling to it and let it do that.   I hope that you will write again and maybe we could discuss more if you feel that it would help? I pray so. I prayed for your freedom and renewal from the moment I first read your message weeks ago. I am offering myself to you and for you as a prayer right now for Him to use me to touch and heal  you to Himself... I pray for you to accept that which He will give to you.
Here is a small but great prayer you may wish to use when thoughts of the violation try to weigh you down with the greatest burden of all - bitterness and unforgiveness... which was the greater violation than the physical acts which have passed away but left you suffering to
this day...  *PRAYER TO FORGIVE - Father God, I realize that my offender is actually Your instrument to build Christs' character in me.   Right now, I fully forgive him, and I purpose to be a channel of Your love in order to also bring to him Your Spiritual healing,  that he not harm others as he did me. AMEN*
At the second URL - the Prayer To Forgive is the first one you will come to on that page. I hope that you will visit both the initial page, which contains a small writing I did on What Is Prayer, and from the table at the bottom, you will find other specific prayers,
among which, this one is my favorite (of my own) I wrote that one at what was then, the darkest and deepest despair I had ever come to know.... utterly overwhelmed with so much pain that I was in a hospital because I had become compulsively suicidal and had to find my way back to life itself......  ~  That time of brokenness is certainly not something I will ever be proud of... but it was a life-changing journey through that valley in the shadow of death... for I found God there waiting to heal me and hold me and renew my spirit forevermore.    I had led a life of faith but never trusted Him until at that point in my life,
where I faced the questions that you now face - "God, how could You have been beside me and allowed it all to happen to me...? if You love me.... ? How could You? And there, in that hospital, He came to me and gently, with the help of Christians all around me
and for me.... I came to understand that it was He who saved me from the attempts I'd made on my life, and He was always with me, and most of all - I saw His great love and received the power and grace I needed to forgive those who had so wronged and wounded me.... and I was able to return to life in a new way - remembering always that this is not the perfect world He is going to take us to for all eternity, this is a place of learning to love and that we are loved and that the source of it all, is Him.... and nothing else.   It sounds so simple - and yet - it is so hard to grasp... that we cannot be touched if we are filled with that love - for from that time, we know that this is just a temporary... tiny bit of time, and our real life is yet to come where there will be no more suffering.  We cannot truly know peace and joy until we have experienced the counterpart of them.... And He will provide for you always - He is providing for you right now, `Z'.    It was He who led me to
establish Erics' memorial and tribute on the internet,  It was He who led you there, It is He who brings His children together to minister to each other as Christ asked us to do, "If you love me, Feed my sheep"    And to think - He actually repeated that phrase THREE times in a row... and I never saw that done anywhere else in scripture..... So I think that it was of paramount importance that He wanted us to know and follow that request. Even when He raised Lazarus from the dead - He did not remove the graveclothes which he was wrapped in - He had the others do it..... He means for us to reach out to each other in love, help and support.  ~  I again apologize and ask your forgiveness that it took me so long to get back to you - but I was interceding for you immediately and still will.  ~ I care about you. I hope that you will write again. I pray that this experience will lose its' hold on your life.... For when it does, you will have grown and then, just as He said, what Satan intended to harm you with, God will turn around and use for your good and for the good of others...  The first thing a predator does when he sets his sight on prey, is to wait until it is apart from the herd, flock or whatever group, and in the moment when it looks most vulnerable - the attack comes. I pray that you will return to the shepherd and know peace and security in trusting Him.~ Gentle embrace and love, Yours because I'm His,  your gypsy,  (Nina)
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Today I am archiving the guestbook,  and I wrote to `Z' this brief note.  I hope that all of you who read her message will also intercede for her  with me,  for a return of joy and intimacy with our Lord.

Dear `Z'  ~ Just wanted to send you a quick note and say "Hello... and, "I am thinking of and praying for you". As Winter draws ever more near and we are outdoors less, I am hoping that wherever you are, you get and take the opportunity in the morning to go
outside and get fresh air and see the sky and feel a breeze and then, hopefully, to feel once again, "Joy in the morning" and feel good that you are alive and beginning a new day. I think
of you often and pray. I care, I really do, `Z'. *hugz!*  ~  Yours because I'm His, your Gypsy, (Nina) and your sister in Christ and the Family of God.

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