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From:
Kerstin Zetterman k_zetterman@hotmail.com
Subject: July 1, 1999
Hello, This is awkward for me since I don΄t know
you in person or even live on the same side of the
world. Still I feel the need to express my gratitude
in coming across your homepage on the Internet. My
name is Kerstin Zetterman and I am 36 years old. I
am married and have two girls and the whole family
lives here in the capital of Sweden, Stockholm.
Since I came across your homepage today, July 1, and
read the wonderful things your son wrote and knowing
what happened to him and to your whole family, I
would like to thank you for sharing your experience.
Sitting in front of my PC thousands of miles away,
across a big, wide ocean I can still feel the
closeness in the bond with your son and the love
that surrounds it. For this I am grateful and just
wished to tell you so and let you know you and your
son touched a soul far away and she is happy you
did.
Yours sincerely, ~ Kerstin Zetterman
Dear Kerstin; What a gentle and comforting
message to find on this day from you, (it is Erics'
birthday and I go to "Freesoul Rock" each
year to release balloons, one for each year that I
havebeen his mother, and of course, the "One
Red Rose".
-------------
JUST
ONE RED ROSE
by Nina Roberta Baker, 1996
Just One Red Rose....
A Token Of ~
My Heart, My Soul
And So Much Love.
Not Just For You,
But From You Too,
And The Unbroken Bond
Between Me And You....
Just One Red Rose,
Left Here Today,
A Small But Heartfelt
Way To Say, ~
Though Death And Separation
Makes Me Cry,
The Love We Shared
Will Never Die!
------------
It seems that each and every year, there is one
extra-special message sent from someone on his
birthday and on Mothers' day. Yours, though not the
only one, was ~the~ special one this year. Thank you
with all my heart. It doesn't seem possible that
this will be the forth such celebration of the love
and joy he brought to me as a mother and even just
as a human being and sharing the close friendship we
also had). This year we will stay and have a picnic
lunch too- for the weather is lovely and inviting.
Freesoul is just a few miles from our home, so I go
there whenever I feel the desire to be there. It was
our custom to do that for all of his life. There is
a warm and comfortable feeling in knowing that one
day when I join him in Eternity, what I leave behind
will join what he also left behind and become a part
of so beautiful and magnificent a place of
tranquility for as long as the earth abides. *s* We
will have both physical and spiritual reunions one
day.... Thank you again for writing to me. You have
comforted and blessed me with your sincerity and
warmth on this special day, Kerstin.
God has blessed us together this day, With Love,
Nina
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Date:
Thursday, July 1, 1999 18:19:51 -0400
From: luna luna@qn.net
My love is with you my dear
sister.................... I just cannot imagine
what it has been like, but I will never forget when
it happened... I was there.
I love you, Luna
Date:
Thursday, July 1, 1999 19:16:09 -0800
Subject: Re: For the fourth July 1, without Eric
Hello: Storms have passed, so I'm
catching up here. Yes, dear cyber-sister, we go all
the way back to my first chatting days when we were
room-mates in 50+ Chatroom! *G* ~ I
remember that you were "there" then, and
have remained "here" with me always
since... I love you! and thanks...
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
Date:
Thursday, July 1, 1999 19:59:56 -0400
Subject: Re: For the fourth July 1, without Eric It
is not a hardship at all being your friend and
loving you... you are "one"
special lady!!!!!! It has been storming here too,
but it doesn't cool off.... have a good
evening.......
Your Sister, Luna
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From:
"Art & Cathy" artcath@stormnet.com
Subject: Happy Birthday Eric
My Special Friend, ~ I visited your site once
again today and as before was moved to tears. Words
seem so inadequate and even if they weren't I don't
know the right ones anyway. I'll just say that I am
with you in spirit on this difficult day and I'm so
thankful for Gods direction in leading me to your
site. If only the world knew the meaning of love as
you do. ~ Art
Dear
Art (& Cathy); Thank you so much for
your empathy and your "warm fuzzies"
yesterday. It was a beautiful day in all and I feel
blessed by the love and compassion of dear friends
who reach out and hug me from afar. *S* A lot of
catching up to do around here and some preparations
for the Fourth, and the 6th is my own birthday and
the family will gather in evening to share that day
(and I am being taken to our family-favorite Chinese
restaurant. *S* Brandi went with Peach yesterday and
bought my BD present and she is so excited that her
eyes are brilliant with joyful and eager
anticipation of the day she can give it to me! *G*
The greatest joy of all is her joy in the giving.
Eric was like that too - not to say that my two
daughters aren't joyful givers (!) - but Eric and
Brandi have a lot of the same character-traits which
every parent hopes to instill in the children God
loans and entrusts to us here on earth. Whatever it
is - she is certainly thrilled about it. She
said she had a difficult time finding it - but that
I am just going to LOVE it - and when she speaks
those words, she kind of squeals with emotion that
makes her like an excited puppy (wriggling all over)
*RVBG!* To see this kind of joy in giving is so
precious - more even than whatever the actual gift
could be! I am so blessed! Summer is such an
outdoor-time that I don't get to be
"online" much - for by the time we come
indoors and eat, it is already bedtime! *S* ~ Looks
like more rain today - we need it in such a bad way!
The water table is so low now that many wells are
simply going dry altogether. I heard a cute way of
putting it a few days ago, "It's so dry around
here that the cows are giving evaporated milk and
trees are whistling for the (male) dogs to come piss
on them! <excuse the crudeness, but that's the
way I heard it, and I'm quoting!!>! *giggle* ~
Our pool holds about 15,000 gallons, so we have a
reserve, *G* ~ Take care dear friend. Thank you for
the "strokes" - I really do feel your love
and sincerity of comfort and prayer! Like you, I
thank God for the dear souls He bonds me with even
around the world (or the other side of the
U.S.A.). Here are
links to a few of Erics' writings appropriate for
this holiday weekend (just in case you never got
there to see them before now. AMERICAN
DREAM ~ ECOLOGY
~ 1840 ~
VIETNAM VET
~ Love, prayer and hugs
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From:
"Schoenmaker" shoes@eisa.net.au
Subject: Eric ~ Hello Dear Nina,
It's been a long time I know. I won't go into
excuses on this day. Just want to say I am thinking
of you and Eric, the bond you shared and still
share. Your a courageous woman in every sense of the
word, you have made a celebration of Eric's life and
passing. You don't ask us to feel pity, though we
share your sorrow, all you ask is that we get to
know your treasured son, know that he walked this
earth and gave great joy in his short life time. I
am sure he looks down, not only lovingly at his
mother, but with real joy and pride in her ability
to share his life with so many and in doing so keep
his memory alive and her heart from breaking in two.
God Bless you Nina, Enjoy your picnic with Eric and
know my thoughts are with you.
~ Love, Jazmine.
http://members.tripod.com/~JAZMINE_2/index-4.html
My
dear Jasmine; Love and friendship need not
ever make excuses - for none is necessary or
expected. I guess that the key word is expect. One
should never impose expectations on relationships -
then you are always delighted at whatever comes....
I am always happy to hear from you. You are such a
very special person. *S* Thank you for touching base
with me on this day (and all days)... for I feel
your presence on earth and in the soul of life -
whether in e-mail or spirit... I have been concerned
and hoping that you are not getting worse. I know
that when you feel like talking or sharing, you
will, and so I just keep you in prayer and send love
and peace through our angels who, I am sure, know
each other and keep in touch. *s* ~ It is late and I
am weary from the intensity of pain in the excursion
- but it is an "ok" pain - you know? The
kind you don't mind creating in doing something you
want very much to do... and are just glad that you
succeeded. *s* I have an idea that you understand
what I mean. *melancholy smile* Pain creates a bond
between people who share that fate/experience. Like
AA or any of the other "groups" - it is
the understanding which comes of true empathy and
like-experiences and endurances. Catch me up on you
when you are up to it - Okay? I care! Love and hugs
from here to there,
Yours because I'm His, Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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Subject:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NINA!
From: "Don and Nancy Blythe" beepsandnan@ac.net
Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 01:25:13 -0400
Happy Birthday Nina! I just
stumbled into your site tonite and discovered that
this your birthday! I hope this is a very happy day
for you to share with all your family--- You are so
fortunate to have them living near to you. I was
born in Chicago, too, in January of 1933 so I am 10
whole years older than you! I have 10 grandchildren
and #11 is due at Christmas but they all live in
Annapolis, Baltimore, New Jersey and Chicago but I
do see them all several times a year. My husband and
I just came back from a family visit to Chicago and
I always love going back there---I grew up in one of
the north suburbs and it is just coincidence that
one son and his family are back living there now. To
substitute for my distant grandchildren I volunteer
in the nursery here in Pinehurst taking newborn
babies pictures and doing their hearing screening
tests. I love it so much! ~
The Shenandoah Valley is one of our favorites and we
travel thru there often on our visits north. It is
truly special every season of the year and we always
look forward to it's never ending beauty. You are a
beautiful person, Nina, and I pray that God will
continue to bless you and watch over you all the
days of your life!
Love, Nancy from North Carolina
Hello Nancy; Isn't the
cyber-community wonderful? I love the way we can
really reach out to strangers, make friends and have
close relationships through the wonderful age of
technology. It is like a little foretaste of the
eternal life and inter-connectedness that I believe
we will have `then & there'. *S* What a
wonderful way to fill your time and empty arms -
also, a very nice way of honoring your own children
and grandchildren by passing your love for them
along to others.... That's so special! *warm smile*
And what a nice thing to receive on my birthday, an
outstretched hand of fellowship from a new friend...
You! Thank you for the soft/warm words and the
birthday greeting. *S* It's been a very nice
birthday. Since you pass through here, perhaps we
will even have an opportunity to meet *IRL* one day!
Hope to hear from you again sometime.
~ Love, prayer and hugs,
Yours because I'm His, Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From: SPIRITCALL@webtv.net
(Debbie Markley)
Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 00:10:29 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: How Very Beautiful..
Viewing your special place gave me
the longing for my home. I've Always loved Gods'
special place. I lost my dear father two years ago
and I still miss him dearly. Now at any time my
heart crys with pain I can now go viset him at this
special place. MY dad used to sing that song to me
when I was growing up. How it broght back so many
loving memories.Thank you for touching my soul and
bringing a smile to my heart where there were
tears.May the wings of eagles grace you each and
every day as they carry our prayers and thoughts to
the sky where our forefathers' Great SPIRITS now
rest. Someday I too will look forward to the
beautiful place to call home... ~
Spiritcall Cactus.....
Hello Debbie, (SpiritCall Cactus)
Are you of Indian descent ? - or just in spirit. (I
think most of us feel the haunting, melancholy call
of Indian heritage and spirit in this land). I am so
glad that you found the picture. There are 4 more
views here......... FREESOUL
& LINKS <
Lots of great direct links>. And here is a link
to my all-time favorite Indian-site, 'SheoWolf'
. Thank you for writing and sharing that you were
blessed in visiting with me. I hope you will return
and discover other things to enjoy in the
future..... there is such a variety to discover
wandering around all over my site. *S* Do you have a
URL yourself? ~
Love and hugs, Yours because I'm His, Your GYPSY,
(Nina)
From: SPIRITCALL@webtv.net
(Debbie Markley)
Subject: WHO AM I?
I often ask myself who am I? As I
feel a spirit in me ask why? Am I one who lived in
the past? Are these feelings that will last? AS I
ASK WHO AM I? My heart crys for the one who lived
within me, as her spirit reaches out to be free.
Dreams so real, a way to heal. AS I ASK WHO AM I?
There are wounds and fears, as I dream with tears. I
cry GREAT SPIRIT hear my plea, as it brings me
closer to Thee. AS I ASK WHO AM I? MY brothers,
sisters and mother earth who walk next to me, open
my SPIRIT so I can see. Give me visions to guild my
way , as you give me strength each and every day. AS
I ASK WHO AM I? Who am I/ I'M A PROUD NATIVE
AMERICAN!! (c) copywrite Debbie Markley. Yes
I am of Native Descent. But since my dad passed to
the GREAT SPIRIT my spirit has come more alive as he
visites me in his own special way. I know deep in my
heart how the loss of your son has caused you to
live thru him. I read the letters and they reached
my soul. The song You are my hero was the one I
played for my dad from me. I went and had a
BEAUTIFUL EAGLE tatoo on my back with the saying
"YOU ARE MY HERO". Thank you for bringing
such peace to my soul. May mother earth and the
GREAT SPIRIT bring many smiles to your heart.
SPIRITCALL (Debbie) ~
Spiritcall Cactus.....
From: SPIRITCALL@webtv.net
(Debbie Markley)
Subject: Dear Dad...
I'm sending this letter by special mail,
on the wings of an angel it will sail.You left so
quick without a good by, I ask myself
"Why-God-Why?". There was so much I wanted
to say, as I wonder why you left this way. You
looked so peaceful as you were laid to rest, but
maybe your leaving this way was the best. You're
happy now without pain or sorrow, and don't even
have to worry about tomorrow. This is a trip we all
must take, it's a part of life for heavens' sake.
When my time comes, you be at heavens' gate, and
please dad don't be late, Dad there will be times
the pain will be hard to bear, but I'll stop and
think of the times we shared. I want you to know
you'll be sadly missed, and I've sealed this letter
with a kiss . Dad, I just wanted you to know when I
think of your special place above, I'll think of you
and our love. So, I'll sign off with all
my love, as I'm hoping to see you soon above. Your
loving daughter, Debbie, ~ (C)DEBBIE
MARKLEY
Dear Nina and Eric, I visited you
again today and read even more about you and Eric.
Eric was a special gift from God sent here to do
what He knew would touch the hearts of peole who
needed the special gift that Eric had. You too, are
so blessed to have experienced the years by his side
and even now as he walks by your side, You both have
blessed a special corner of my heart. Both of your
writtings come deep from your most inner souls, just
like my inner spirit. TRUE SO VERY TRUE WORDS!!!
You're in my thoughts and prayers, even more so
now... take care my spirit friends......
,SPIRITCALL(Debbie) ~ Spiritcall Cactus.....
Hello Again, Debbie; That was a nice letter
to your dad. I know it must have helped you a lot to
write it. Erics' obituary was in the form of a
letter from me to him... a way of saying the
"Goodbye" that we never had... not really
"Goodbye" though, more of a
"Fare-thee-well until we meet again"
message. Thank you for sharing more with me. I enjoy
your messages and hope that our communications bless
you as well. Time is short this morning, for the
wonderful "break" in our weather here -
provides good opportunity to get some gardening
caught up! It's been hotter than I ever remember it
being in my entire life! It was difficult just to
breathe it in. Write again when you feel like it -
*S*. ~ Yours because I'm His, your
GYPSY, (Nina)
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From: UncleHenry@webtv.net
Subject: Hi. ~ This is a really
beautiful site. ~ Thank You.
Thank you very much, `Uncle Henry'.
Yours because I'm His, your Gypsy, (Nina)
From: ANGELEYES-7@webtv.net
Subject: PRAYER
AMEN.....Thank you for sharing! Love and prayers
eternally.
Thank you for
visiting and signing in.
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From:
"Mary Barota" greatlakes@modempool.com
Subject: ERIC'S PAGE
I am writing to say to you that I
have read just a few pages of Erics' tribute and am
deeply moved. I intend to read all and pass it on to
my family and friends. A task well dond, mother. A
fine tribute to a shining star. Hope to meet him
someday in Paradise.
Your friend from Jackson, Michigan.... MARY
Thank
you, Mary; For taking time to share your
visit and opinion/appreciation with me. I know also,
that we will certainly meet in Paradise. *S* See you
there....
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From:
"Conrad Hein" <chein@cadvision.com>
Subject: Angels
Hi: I'm doing a little study on cherubs and
was wondering if you could tell me a bit of the
history, or if you know of any web sites that deal
with the religious aspect of them. Thanx so much for
your time! ~ Conrad
Hello
Conrad; I entered "cherubs" into
search engines and find that there are
a wealth of links for you to check out. Summer is a
very busy time for me and I'm not online much except
to maintain the grief support ministry on my URL,
and answer e-mails, so I could not check them
out. On my URL, there is a SEARCH ENGINE page for
you to try - I particularly like the WEBSCRUBBER
one. I DO know that there is a lot of
"new-age" type of crossover in these days,
of goddesses and angels. I do not believe that any
angels are spoken of in the entire bible, as having
wings - and when a `gender' is mentioned - it
is ALWAYS male. As for cherubs, THEY do have wings -
but no genders. I have been doing a study on angels
- but set it aside for the summer. When I complete
it, I will publish it in the spiritual section
of my website. Spiritual
<Writings and poetry> and Lighting
the Darkness
are indexes of some of
these. I would be interested
in anything you gather in your search, I too, have
been studying this topic for nearly two
years.. If you have a URL or would share via
e-mail - I would really like (and appreciate) to
know what you find.
~~~~~~~waving Bye for now ~
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
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BUSTELLA@webtv.net
(bustella Ruth)
Subject: hi nina
I loved your page and hope God may continue to bless
you and yours bustella@webtv.net.
Hello,
Thank you for writing when you visited. Please
forgive the length of time for my response, somehow,
I must have missed your message until now.
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY,
(Nina)
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From:
OTre387698@aol.com
Subject: SIGN GUEST BOOK
Tears filled my eyes as I read your posts. I
have Lupus and now vasculitius. Thanks for
making my day a little brighter. God
bless you and strengthen you.
Dear OT
<?> ~ Thank you for writing to me. I know that
both conditions you are dealing with are painful,
limiting and debilitating. I am sorry that you are
in that condition... I think that Lupus (and it's
"sister" conditions), are about the worst
of all things with the exception of Alzheimers. They
alter everything about your life and relationships.
How wonderful that you have chosen to venture out
into cyber-world where you will experience and enjoy
many things not otherwise readily or comfortably
available to you. God bless you and strengthen
you moment by moment. I applaud your venturing!
*smiling* Love and hugs to you,
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From:
Sugar52-@webtv.net
Your page is beautiful,i was awed at the picture,i
hope you click on my banner and visit
mine,
Love, Sug
Hello Sug;
I did go and visit some - but not all, I am not
online as often as in winter. I am an outdoors
person and also raising a grandchild (Brandi is
almost 10)... so summer is not a
"free-time" for me! *S* I will return to
do
it all and to sign your guestbook. Hope
that you will visit again. I read that you have lost
a child? I would be interested to hear about your
loss. My
site was primarily started when I lost my (almost)
23 year old son, Eric in a tragic accident
just before he was to graduate college and go on to
William & Mary for his post-grad 2 years and
degree. That was 1996, and I had just wanted to
publish some of his writings and poetry, and pay
tribute to all that he was and gave to be
shared. The site just
keeps growing. A lot of others who grieve share in
my unique type of guestbook (I am on #17) now! The
ministry of grief support just grew of itself - and
it has blessed me and many others now. If you would
like to share your own loss or contribute your
opinions about any of the other myriad of categories
my site now encompasses, please do. *G!* We seem to
have many things in common. I really enjoyed the
"If you love Jesus" banner/link! I'd never
run into it before and intend to join. Thank
you! Hope to hear from you again,
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From: stormy222@webtv.net
Subject: Pansies......
Dear Nina, What a beautiful poem !!!! And you
know what, it made a lot of sense. I really enjoyed
running across it !!!! I can only say
keep up the good
work . Will be looking forward to seeing
more......Thanks for allowing me to be able to visit
your page...............stormy
You are most welcome, Stormy; You will find
other spiritual offerings from:
Spiritual ~
Prayer
~ Spiritual/lighting
Our site is hundreds of pages of a large variety
of topics and interests. I hope you will check more
of it out. Thank you for sharing your appreciation.
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY,
(Nina)
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From:
"Steve & Pat Pegram" pegrams@nceye.net
Subject: THANK YOU!
I just want to thank you SO very much! My husband
and I have been searching for years for the
"Pastor's Resume!" Many years ago, my
husband's dad gave him "The Apostle Paul's
Resume." Somehow, and over the years, we lost
that little piece of paper, which his Dad gave to
him. My father-in-law has since
died. ~ I am
teaching our last lesson, in VBS, tonight and the
lesson is dealing with the Apostle Paul.
I desperately wanted to read Paul's Resume to the
class. I would say that it was "by chance"
that I found this on your Website, but I know it
must have been the Lord who lead me to your site. I
did not give up. Time after time, I went from one
search engine to another, trying to find
"someone" who had what I needed! I had no
idea what the correct title was or how I would find
it. I just kept typing in "The
Apostle Paul's Resume" and,
soon, I was directed to your
Website! Because of you, not only
will I be able to use this tonight, but you have
"given back" to me and my husband, the
words to that "long lost little piece of
paper," which his Dad gave to him, many years
ago! ~ My husband is a
Southern Baptist Minister/Pastor and loves preaching
the life of the Apostle Paul, also! This, newfound,
"letter from Paul" will make his day! I am
teaching the Adult VBS and my husband is in our
class. I think I will just "surprise" him
with this, as I read it tonight!
~ I LOVE your Website. I did not have
time to go through it all, this morning, but DO plan
to go back to it as soon as I can! (After VBS is
over ;~) The parts I saw were WONDERFUL!
~ Thank you SO much, again....AND thank you
for your "TESTIMONY!"
~ In Christ, Pat
Dear
Pat; Thank you so very much
for sharing me. It was a great blessing to
hear how very much it blessed you to find what you
were looking for, for so long. I know that you know
exactly what I mean when I say that it thrilled me
to hear how God used me to fulfill a need -
particularly in someone such as you, who wanted to
give it to others - for then it is just going to go
on and on blessing others and I am just a tiny
little part of that in Gods' design. To
serve Him is the greatest thrill I know.
Since you are a ministering family, you may wish to
check out the heart of my site - which is
grief support. The
guestbook is more of a life bulletin-board -
messages from and to, sheep who are wounded or in
need. It began when my soulmate/son, Eric, was
killed in 1996 in a tragic accident just before
graduating from Ferrum college in Virginia. He was a
writer, and I set the site up to publish some of his
work and a tribute and memorial to his life and
gifts. It had been very healing and strengthening to
set about constructing a site at the time. It was
challenging &
at the time, I really needed to be
"challenged" out of my overwhelming grief
and set about allowing God to use "all things
for good". ~
Thank you again, for sharing about yourselves and
the joy you felt in finding what I also hold dear
(the resume) and like to share with others.
*S* It gave me "goosebumps" as
I read of how you are going to surprise him tonight!
*rvbg!* I am so very happy at the thought of it!
(grinning). Hope to hear from you again
sometime. Do you, or does your church,
have a website?
Love in Christ, ~ Yours because I'm
His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From:
"nibbles" nibbles@erols.com
Subject: web site
Hello gypsy, I just finished your web
site. I am so very sorry for
your loss. what an exceptional young man! God, in
his wisdom, has the answer, although I must admit,
his choices leave us wondering. my daughter is
leaving for Saudia Arabia this coming Monday, and I
feel empty knowing that I won't be able to see or
talk to her for quite a
while. I can only imagine
how you feel. you did a wonderful job on your web
site and I know it gives comfort to others that have
lost a loved one. A very loving mother and
friend. ~ Nibbles
From: "Erik
Rosenstein" stuun@hotmail.com
Subject: Hello ~ Hi. You do not know
me.. I landed on your page by accident.. All I can
say is that I am sorry about Eric. I recently
lost the one person whom I have cared most
about in my life, I cant even believe she is gone.
When I entered your page, I started reading all
you wrote, and I cried like I have very few
times. I dont know what to say. Just thank you for
what you have done. ~ Be
strong. ~ Erik
Rosenstein
Hello Erik; Thank you for writing to me and
sharing. I know exactly what you mean
about the sense of it being unbelievable that your
loved one is gone from here. Here it is, almost 3.5
years and I still feel that. There are times when it
can wash over me and I am engulfed with the grief as
fresh as if it were only last night when I was
awakened and told that Eric had been killed hours
before. I used to
think that it would get better - but I find that
isn't the case. We go on, and we get busy with life
and responsibilities which surround us in the
present, but there area also those times
when only the grief seems real and the rest of life
seems remote and secondary to the
death.... ~ It helps me a lot to
be blessed in being able to have Erics'
presence in the world and his contributions of
thoughts and feelings in his writings - continue to
touch others... for it was his greatest desire to be
"heard" and known and perhaps to make a
difference in some ways in the lives of others.
He is doing that all the time now.
~ I am glad that you found my webpages
and hope that you will take time again to see more
of it and perhaps it will assuage your grief
somewhat. Please write again if you would like
to share more... I care, I really do. I would like
to know more about your experience too. Sometimes
it's the smallest thought or feeling shared by
another grieving person, which has the ability and
effect of helping us to heal. ~ Love and
prayers,
Yours because I'm His, From your GYPSY,
(Nina)
<><
<>< ><> ><>
From: samesam@webtv.net
(Samuel Cernuto)
Subject: Saying
There's a saying that goes something
like this, May we all have,
Journeys to come, Places to go, Things
to see, People to hug, Time to
rest, Hands to hold, Books to
read, and no more regrets..... Sam
Thank you for sharing that, Sam.
Yours because I'm His, your GYPSY,
(Nina)
<><
<>< ><> ><>
From:
"Karen Reynolds" Horsemustang@pcis.net
Subject: brown recluse
I have found this so interesting the information you
have written about MSM, but
one of the things I found incorrect and there may be
others is that brown recluse spiders don't kill
you. We have them all over Missouri and
even the conservation department will tell you that
they don't kill you. This is in response to
one of your testimonials. Thank-you, and still
reading, Karen
~*~
Dear Karen; That is interesting and I'm glad
that you shared the information
with me about the spider. I didn't write the
testimony or the various articles regarding MSM. As
I explained in the beginning of the report, I
researched and shared results of the study so that
others would have an idea of what it is and from
there, I hope that they will be interested and
continue to do even more research for their
own edification. Personal testimonials
were taken from the doctors' published book on MSM
(in which those testimonials were chosen by him and
included in his publication). However,
since your response interested me, I clicked on my
MS Bookshelf and checked the info there which,
*FYI* is:
------------
"brown recluse spider: brown recluse
spider or violin spider, poisonous nocturnal spider,
Loxoceles reclusa, most common in the SE and S
central U.S. Adults are 3/8 in. (10 mm) long and are
light brown with a dark,
violin-shaped mark on the back near the head. In
humans their venom
kills the tissue surrounding a bite and leaves a
deep sore, but only
rarely does a bite result in death. *The
Concise Columbia Encyclopedia is licensed from
Columbia University Press. Copyright © 1995 by
Columbia University Press. All rights
reserved."
----------------------
Yours because I'm
His, your GYPSY, (Nina)
~*~
From: "Karen
Reynolds" Horsemustang@pcis.net
Subject: found more
On part two<MSM> by Mindell, Sulphur sets
world on fire, under the start of it and go down 10
paragraphs, it says not much on this mineral in
Broccoli, then under 'What is MSM?' it says
Broccolli has high concentration of this mineral.
Getting frustrated at reading contradictory
material. Any comments? ~ Karen
~*~
Yes, Karen, I have some comments on your
complaint/criticism on the doctors'
article. ~ Comments;
----------------------
#1 - The vegetable you refer to is not spelled
"Broccolli" and is not a proper noun and
therefore is not capitalized. The proper
spelling is broccoli . (*tongue-in-cheek* here)
#2 - Your comment here "it
says not much on this mineral in Broccoli",
if what you meant to say was `OF' - rather than `ON
~ (typo on your part?) when you quote the authors'
words.... where he speaks of broccoli, he does NOT
say that there is "not
much" MSM in
broccoli as you imply. Perhaps you read in haste?
What he it DOES say is that there is LESS of it in
that vegetable than "in animal protein foods
such as meat, fish, poultry, eggs and
milk.
#3 - Then, when he speaks of the high levels of MSM
in broccoli, he also reminds the reader that
water and cooking destroy much of the MSM that IS
there. ~ To prepare
that report to encourage others to learn about
the importance and benefits of MSM, I read
literally thousands of references obtained
through books and also online with search engines. I
simply chose from my notes, portions of my study to
spark that interest which could make a difference in
their lives and the lives of others they might
continue the sharing with. If I had found
contradiction or error, I would not have thought to
correct or misquote any writings of others. If it
were a glaring error, I would have excerpted the
reference.
Yours because I'm His, Your
GYPSY, (Nina)
<><
<>< ><> ><>
<Snipped
identity for obvious reasons>
From `ZC' ~ Subject:
Pain 9/24/99
(If
anyone would like to write a message to this
visitor, I will forward to them, but of
my own concern for her privacy- although she did not
ask for anonymity, I felt it safer that she
have that here. If you contact me, I
will send to her and she can decide how she feels
about being in communication with anyone else at
this time in her life. If you feel
compelled to communicate with her - please do not
let the opportunity to reach out to her pass)
Dear Nina, I enjoyed
your site very much. I struggled whether
I should e-mail u or not because my circumstances
were different than yours. But pain is
pain regardless of how it occurred. And
too, I have not found a site for the things
that happened to me. I am a
Christian who at one time had such a beautiful walk
with the LORD but because of being
raped during my private time of praise and prayer
with the LORD I have lost that intimacy. I am on my
way back but it seems like such a long way still to
go. So many lies have come as a
result of that incident that at times I do not think
that I can go on. But GOD is
good. Somehow each day even though I do
not look forward to it, God gets me
through it. My dream, my goal is
to be able one day to be glad once again that I am
here. to wake in the morning with joy.
~ <snipped> ~`Z'
Dear `Z' ~
Don't believe that I have ever met anyone with your
name before.
A nice one. Please forgive the weeks
which have passed between your message
and this reply. You have been on my mind from the
first time I read your message. I am praying that
you will soon experience a reconnection with
our Savior and Shepherd. I find that His
presence is even more "knowable" when we
fall into suffering and pain of experiences such as
yours.... For all light shines brightest in the
darkness that comes of such times... Sometimes,
though, there is that ages-old darkness that
envelops us, the darkness and loneliness which comes
when we do not understand or even believe that
He is there... if we believe that.... we do not see
or feel Him. Also, there can be anger
toward God that
we do not recognize. When we do come to recognize
that anger... when we face that we have in our
hearts, a question that we sometimes dare not even
own.... "Where were YOU, God, when this
happened? If You love me - Why did You let it
happen? How could You?" With
such questions... and the usurping of faith which
comes when we come to believe that either He didn't
care, or wasn't there... we feel as alone as Christ
Himself did when, from the
Cross... He, too cried out and
felt forsaken as He suffered physical and Spiritual
pain of the sin which He took upon Himself (our sin,
which He willingly took) and which separated Him
from God (for ALL sin separates us from God) just
before He died there in that
atonement.... He, like you,
did not deserve anything like the things which
happened to Him in this fallen world where evil
men/women hurt and kill in their thirst and greed
for carnal and physical gratifications and
power..... He never said that He would
intervene and take away the free will He gave
us with our lives.... But, `Z', what He DID
say, and never fails to do, is that He was
right there with you... Satan tries to
blind us to that with his accusations whispered to
us against God. But, He was there. That
experience which wounded you so terribly, wounded
Him as well. Have you ever
observed suffering which you could not alter
or comfort or change in any way?
Did you not suffer acutely in the helplessness and
impotence of the situation? He suffers when we do.
He does not cause it. But when we were
sent from Eden, it was to this world where evil is
free to do its' will and there are victims who
suffer the consequences of all sorts of
things. Look at the innocent babies murdered every
single day - every hour... And He sees... and people
accuse Him of not caring. But, the free
will He gave, He gave to all - even the person who
is doing the harm to others. And....
then there is another place where He told us that we
have not because we ask not. Most people tend to
think that He meant for us to just pray to Him
to do something. But I believe that the asking is
also the reaching out as you have done with me....
And that is not easily done - for people are greatly
reluctant to do that....
and it is also why others do not minister to them -
for they often aren't even aware of the need. But
when you reach out Zan, He can and He does, use His
willing servants to minister to the needs of
our brothers and sisters. That is how He intends for
us to grow in
love and humility and to depend on Him. This way -
we are all exercising our free will to serve Him...
and He can use us. He has prepared a
place for us for all of eternity, and we know that
He is taking us there forever. This time
here, is so short' in its' measure against that. But
what happens to us is not nearly so lasting as what
we choose afterward, to let that violation rob us of
eternal life or even present joy.... or to allow Him
to fill us with
the power and grace of love and forgiveness by which
we grow ever more like Christ. that love is pure and
straight from the throne and Him who sits upon
it. To forgive a transgression upon us,
whether by accident or by choice to hurt us and use
us.... is to come apart from the world even while
still in it, to rise above our finite and earthly
limitations and
become free even while still here... is true freedom
and grace abounding and which can never be taken
from us by any happenstance. If
you can, but stretch yourself above/ beyond the
darkness of the thing which happened and by which,
Satan seeks to own you and intercept and
obliterate the light of His presence.... you will be
healed and the
effect which Satan seeks will fall away.
It is not an easy thing to do when pain and
confusion enshroud you. I really
do know that. As you said, all
"pain is pain", whatever the
source. But it is also where we find the
source and power which ever flows from Him to
sustain us through it. In those first moments when I
stood hearing that Eric was dead.... I
died. I truly did. And in a way -
that is true when ever something so traumatic
happens to us - for the person we were,
the moment before... does die. The next
moment, we are a new person...never ever to be the
same. But, dear `Z'.... we can
choose what and who we will be from that moment, or
from any particular moment between one and the
next. You can choose, right now,
to let Him fill you and make you new - free at last
from the sin of another who violated you. The
violation was terrible, yes.... But to have it
cripple you afterward is to remain its'
victim and renew its' power over you and your life
with every breath you take under that influence
which seeks to keep you apart from God and from your
life and freedom.... That act can imprison you
forever - but only if you cling to it and let it do
that. I hope that you will write again
and maybe we could discuss more if you feel that it
would help? I pray so. I prayed for your freedom and
renewal from the moment I first read your message
weeks ago. I am offering myself to you and for you
as a prayer right now for Him to use me to touch and
heal you to Himself... I pray for you to
accept that which He will give to you.
Here is a small but great prayer you may wish to use
when thoughts of the violation try to weigh you down
with the greatest burden of all - bitterness and
unforgiveness... which was the greater violation
than the physical acts which have passed away but
left you suffering to this
day... *PRAYER
TO FORGIVE - Father
God, I realize that my offender is actually Your
instrument to build Christs' character in
me. Right
now, I fully forgive him, and I purpose to be a
channel of Your love in order to also bring to him
Your Spiritual healing, that he not harm
others as he did me. AMEN*
At the second URL
- the Prayer To Forgive is the first one you will
come to on that page. I hope that you will visit
both the initial page, which contains a small
writing I did on What
Is Prayer, and from the table at the bottom, you
will find other specific prayers,
among which, this one is my
favorite (of my own) I
wrote that one at what was then, the darkest and
deepest despair I had ever come to know.... utterly
overwhelmed with so much pain that I was in a
hospital because I had become compulsively suicidal
and had to find my way back to life
itself...... ~ That time of brokenness
is certainly not something I will ever be proud
of... but it was a life-changing journey through
that valley in the shadow of death... for I found
God there waiting to heal me and hold me and renew
my spirit forevermore. I had led a
life of faith but never trusted Him until at that
point in my life,
where I faced the questions that you now face -
"God, how could You have been beside me and
allowed it all to happen to me...? if You love
me.... ? How could You? And there, in that hospital,
He came to me and gently, with the help of
Christians all around me
and for me.... I came to understand that it was He
who saved me from the attempts I'd made on my life,
and He was always with me, and most of all - I saw
His great love and received the power and grace I
needed to forgive those who had so wronged and
wounded me.... and I was able to return to life in a
new way - remembering always that this is not the
perfect world He is going to take us to for all
eternity, this is a place of learning to love and
that we are loved and that the source of it all, is
Him.... and nothing else. It sounds so
simple - and yet - it is so hard to grasp... that we
cannot be touched if we are filled with that love -
for from that time, we know that this is just a
temporary... tiny bit of time, and our real life is
yet to come where there will be no more
suffering. We cannot truly know peace and joy
until we have experienced the counterpart of
them.... And He will provide for you always - He is
providing for you right now, `Z'.
It was He who led me to
establish Erics' memorial and tribute on the
internet, It was He who led you there, It is
He who brings His children together to minister to
each other as Christ asked us to do, "If you
love me, Feed my sheep" And
to think - He actually repeated that phrase THREE
times in a row... and I never saw that done anywhere
else in scripture..... So I think that it was of
paramount importance that He wanted us to know and
follow that request. Even when He raised Lazarus
from the dead - He did not remove the graveclothes
which he was wrapped in - He had the others do
it..... He means for us to reach out to each other
in love, help and support. ~ I again
apologize and ask your forgiveness that it took me
so long to get back to you - but I was interceding
for you immediately and still will. ~ I care
about you. I hope that you will write again. I pray
that this experience will lose its' hold on your
life.... For when it does, you will have grown and
then, just as He said, what Satan intended to harm
you with, God will turn around and use for your good
and for the good of others... The first thing
a predator does when he sets his sight on prey, is
to wait until it is apart from the herd, flock or
whatever group, and in the moment when it looks most
vulnerable - the attack comes. I pray that you will
return to the shepherd and know peace and security
in trusting Him.~ Gentle embrace and love, Yours
because I'm His, your gypsy, (Nina)
<>< <>< ><>
><>
Today I am
archiving the guestbook, and I wrote to `Z'
this brief note. I hope that all of you who
read her message will also intercede for her
with me, for a return of joy and intimacy with
our Lord.
Dear `Z'
~ Just wanted to send you a quick note and say
"Hello... and, "I am thinking of and
praying for you". As Winter draws ever more
near and we are outdoors less, I am hoping that
wherever you are, you get and take the opportunity
in the morning to go
outside and get fresh air and see the sky and feel a
breeze and then, hopefully, to feel once again,
"Joy in the morning" and feel good that
you are alive and beginning a new day. I think
of you often and pray. I care, I really do, `Z'. *hugz!*
~ Yours because I'm His, your Gypsy, (Nina)
and your sister in Christ and the Family of God. |
