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Subject:
Re: Part 3
Our Most Dear Nina, I am most thankful
that GOD allowed man to develope the computer to the
point that he has because if he had not it is quite
clear to me that the world would have suffered a
terrible great loss if you had not had one on that
dreadful night that you were on those
antidepressants and were about to take that terrible
plunge which would have made satan most happy as he
would not have to battle with you for the lost souls
that you have lead back to the path that leads to
the hill where CHRIST died on the cross to pay for
our sins still stands as it has stood for almost
2000 years and the blood shed then to wash away our
sins is just as fresh and pure today as it was then.
It will wash the sins from ANYONE. They just have to
ask GOD to forgive their sins and place their trust
and faith in him. The one time in my life that I
thought I needed some help to get through a bad time
the Doctor I was using at the time give me a bottle
full and the first one I took done me the same way
that you said yours done you I soon decided that
there was some thing wrong and never took another
one of them. That is when I got real serious with
dealing with my high stress and tension on my own as
I told you about back of this and has worked ever
since without the drugs. Have you had anytime to
think about the Birthday cake For Your Son Eric this
April? As the BIBLE says we come from the dust of
the earth and we return to the the earth as dust. In
Eric's case his ashes were returned to the earth at
your beautful Freesoul Rock. In doing so the
nutrients returned to the soil of the earth which in
turn fed all of the plants around in order for them
to put forth the fruit which all of GODS creatures
partake of to maintain life in abundance. Now if
This is so why would a birthday party not be in
order as ERIC would be in attendence as all of GODS
little creatures along with God and they would all
be so happy that you could be with them and be happy
also they would sing you many beautiful songs. The
birds are one of the most beautiful singers GOD ever
created. If by chance he had not created the birds
it would be a very sad place to be. If a person is
feeling sad all they need to do is step out side and
if they will listen to the songs of the music of God
coming from the beautiful birds they should be
cheered up in just minutes. The little Wrens have
brought me music each morning this week at 6:30AM as
I leave for work. Talk about service that brings a
smile to an old man they do. I bet they would also
bring a smile to your face if you took them a cake
to your Freesoul Rock. Why don't we try and
see. I enjoy writing to you My
most SPECIAL Friend but it is getting late so I will
close until in the morning.
With Our Love and HUGS, ~ Jim and Family
Dear Jim; Really
busy day today! Our church is having its' annual
AGAPE dinner - a wonderful fun event! Brandi will be
attending for the first time this year. She has
always watched me dress up and go out to it - and
she is SOOOooo excited that this time I am taking
her and her mother (and even Peach) with me! Peach
has been before... to the best one I ever attended -
It was in 1992, Roger, Eric, Peach and I all went
and left the girls with Jeanne... (At that time I
had two of Brandis' sisters living here too)
---->
if you had not had one (computer)on that dreadful
night
^And
a very special thing about all of this is
that it was Eric for whom I first bought a computer
in 1991.... AND - it was Eric hinself, who helped me
to begin to use one in 1993, and it was Eric who
taught me to chat online in 1995. He prepared a path
for me to be safe upon when he would no longer be
with me....
---->
anytime to think about the Birthday cake
^Yes,
Jim. And it is an excellent idea
which I knew that same day that I received it from
you - that I would do it this year and perhaps, for
always.... and then perhaps after I too am scattered
there - some of my family may even want to keep such
a memorial tradition... Our family tradition for
toddlers is to have Gingerbread for their first
years - (with whipped cream, of course) so that they
can just dig in and eat it with their own hands and
early ~silverware skills~.... Finger-lickin-good
does not only apply to CHICKEN here! *giggle* And so
it will be gingerbread! And we are going to do it...
and I was going to thank you for suggesting it to me
even before this inquiry! Believe me... For I am
such a ~Romantic~ and it will be very good for me to
begin such a tradition in his honor... and indeed -
there are many little critters and birds there who
will also appreciate that you suggested it to me!
*GRIN*
---->
if they will listen to the songs of the music of God
coming from the beautiful birds they should be
cheered up in just minutes.
^As
you will see when you are here -
our little Shangrilah here is so filled with such
music. All who come here find it awesomely so. I
guess that the many fountains, trees and shrubs
crowded here around the house here on our little
half acre - have a lot to do with that - as well as
my own personal feeling that God has blessed me
especially well in their being happy to reside with
and serenade us here! *RVBG!* Have to begin curling
Brandis' hair for today! We are so excited about
this evening and our ~first timers (Brandi and her
mother) coming along! Gotta go now.... Love and hugs
for {{{{{{{Jim, Barbara and Kayla)))))))
From your GYPSY, (Nina) and Miss Brandi
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Subject:
Praise to God for all of you
All Praise be to God for all of you, Christian
brothers and sister. There is no distance in the
spirit, in praise, in grace, in love. Bless you all
and all that concerns you. Hadasena Negesti de
Eritrea
Hello
Connie; Thank you for writing and letting
me know you were here and enjoyed the visit. I
appreciate your sharing your thoughts/feelings with
me. I hope that you will visit again. Yours because
I'm His, ~ Nina
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dcac@pop.uwin.com
Dear
Nina, I enjoyed your homepage tonight, and
was touched by by how God has worked in your life.
God's Grace is sufficient. Isn't he good. Your
poetry gives him glory. A friend in Christ.
Hello;
You didn't leave your name, but you did leave your
spirit and affirmation for me - Thank you. I so
appreciate that. Yours because I'm His, ~ Nina
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Those of you who follow our communications here -
know of June, and her brain surgeries - and she is
now recovering and has great pain and challenges to
gain back the ground lost to the surgical
proceedures. It is remarkable that she can write
even this well- but just look at the beauty of her
spirit reaching out from the midst of all she faces
moment to moment. She is a beautiful, bright and
brilliantly shining star! Should any of you feel led
to do so <and I plead that you will> - she
would very-much appreciate some meaningful, caring
communication from any of you.... God bless you and
through you, I pray!
Please, This is not a chain letter type of thing -
or someone far away and impersonal, she is right
here and a few minutes here at the keyboard would
brighten and encourage her day so much!
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"June
A. Johnson" junebug@icanect.net
Hello Dear Nina, Today is a worse
than usual day. Your email with all that wonderful
music in files provided a prarchute! Althou I didn't
wake up until 2 pm - well, I didn't feel wonderful,
- or not so hot - or even as good as terrible! But
Nina, your jewel piece of email nestled me into a
perfect, soft and uplifting safetynesst. Really
needed more than I can say. Jesus had me by my hand
- as always, but my arm was stretching a bit about
then! I wrote a letter - overdue - ealier to someome
- daughter - but oddly while writing, the letter was
for you as much as for her! You are probl one of few
persons on each who could understand this and take
no hurt or slight from it! Perhaps you helped me
write that letter! She is in rough time (99 out of
100%) now - without your strong help the letter may
not have been possible! The last 4 - 5 - 6 days have
been worse yet. just stupid physical stuff - just
stupid pain. But Nina, from this, my soul is being
reinforced with strength - even tho Jesus and His
Angels always hold so tightly to my being, even they
know when a 'special touch' could help! You have
been my special touch for several days now and to
not let you know this would be worse than terrible.!
Monday, no matter whqt, I will be going to my Dr. of
Internal Med (had to cancel 2 weeks in row) - and
time being a gift in sense it has helped me see some
things a bit clearer now. Oh no, Nina! Nothing to
worry about - perhaps the 'list of things to do for
Lord' is longer than I could have guessed! hmmmmmmm
good sign! So of course he will provide me the extra
portions of strenth - Nina, perhaps you are a vessel
of His strengh! I will attach a piece of music for
you. My mentality tonight is overdrawn so will save
leaning your new method for tomorrow - or soon. I
love you. Oh, will also attach copy of my msucym
overdue letter. A child waiting for God's work, June
My
dear June; How glad I was to hear that I
was of some comfort and strength for you, dear June!
An answer to my prayer for you.... *smile* Isn't He
just wonderful? It was just unbelievable that you
should choose that
particular piece of music, dear one - for it is the
exact piece played by my most cherished of my
collection of music boxes. It was given to me by my
father when I was 6 years old. I never saw him again
until I had a little girl of my own - and that small
treasure was all I had of/from him until that new
meeting. It is a lovely music box - walnut with
glass covering inside the lid when you open and
watch the movement - Swiss made and lovely of
sound.... I can hardly believe that box can still
play for all the times I have played it again and
again all those years. It was my only way of
connecting with the reality that I had a Daddy at
all.... For the parting between my parents was so
bitter and hate-filled that I was never allowed to
see him again until I had left home and was
married. ~ He is long dead now - he died
fairly young from the consequences of his life of
drinking. I still cherish that box with all my
heart. I think I would have to say I was more
closely bonded to IT than to the man - and - on the
bottom, he had written that he loved me. From that
day until this - it has probably been more lasting
love from any man - for it is written indelibly and
it is still with me..... I wanted you to know all
this, dear sister, for it seems to me that there
truly is some spiritual bond put there between us by
our angels... else how, in all the world of music -
should it be that you chose that one which has told,
assured me, me for 48 of my 54 years of life, *You
are Loved* And you, my dear June, are loved and
cherished by, Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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My
Most Wonderful and Dearest Friend Nina;
I can never if I live to be 100 years find the right
words to express my thanks to for sending us the URL
for RAVENWIND. It is one thing of several that has
been missing in my life as I have found things about
myself there that I did not even know that I was
hunting. I think that I may have told you that my
great grandmother was a Cherokee Indian. Sheowolf
has things in her pages that explain to me why I
feel about things the way I do. It may seem strange
to you but some of the stuff that she had in there
seemed to me just like she was talking specially to
me. It put chills up my spine. Maybe you can explain
this for me. ( I hope) ~ I wrote her to tell her how
much I loved her work and I do because she has the
facts and I knew some of them to be true. I told her
also that she had been born a couple hundred years
to late as she would have made a wonderful medicine
woman. I hope I didn't make her mad. She puts her
heart and soul in her works the same as you do.
Please tell me how you knew I needed that URL.
Please don't get me wrong here because I Love your
site also. Both of your sites deal with spiritual
cultural and the higher power. The feeding of GODS'
sheep is the same regardless if the sheep have white
skin or happen to be Indian ( I have never seen an
Indian with red skin) have you? Will close for my
Dear Nina after wishing you goodnight and sweet
dreams. Our Love and Hugs to You both.
Jim and Family
Dear
{{{{{{{Jim}}}}}}} Please forgive my not
answering today -
I am about to go to bed now - and had SOOoooo wanted
to reply to you first - but it is too late now and I
have been awakening every night and not getting the
sleep I so need (still recovering from that long
siege!) Hope Kayla and Barbara are better - will
write to you tomorrow - I promise. Right now I have
TWO Melatonin dissolving under my tongue and should
go lay down so that they can have a chance to help.
Usually one is adequate if I have any problem with
sleeping (when the aching emptiness left behind and
all around me when Eric and Buffy went ~home~ before
me.... I know you understand). It's just a tough
place in the road here this time of the year...
Funny - Spring was always my very favorite time of
year - how beautiful to die at a time that reminds
us all of the new life provided for us by Christs'
death - and we look all around and see what seemed
to be dead - all coming back ever more beautiful
year after year.... Gee!!!!! I just can't seem to
write a short letter, can I!!! *giggle* - especially
to you! Now I am absolutely going to I love you all,
and our meeting is getting closer every week - I
think the little girls are excited! *smiling*
Yours because I'm His and love you, {{{{{{{Kayla
& Barbara}}}}}}}
Your GYPSY, ( Nina) & Brandi
Subject: SheoWolf and
Indian Lore ~ Hello
Jim;
Well, the sun is peeking out between the mist and
the scattered rainclouds which I haven't heard might
be delivering more free water for our reservoir or
not today... *S* Our flowers are all growing so fast
I can almost see them as they move
upward!!!! ~ Re: SheoWolf... she
had such beautiful pictures! Particularly the one
scene here which I found breathtaking (attached).
Her soulful writing is awesome. And the music - ....
Ahhhhh.... Except that I was disappointed with some
of the changes she just recently made (in last three
days) in the music selections... I have always had
such a compelling interest in the American Indians
which led me to study them. I've done a LOT of that!
~ Then I was horrified with some of their customs
and traditions, yet fell in love with some of the
others which were so wise and pure of heart in way
of community-living. I think that the writer or
artist in me always falls in love with romantic and
passionate people and customs.... And so it is with
the Indian lore..... That was why Eric and I were so
closely bonded.... He was so passionate and
artistically talented and we shared that and
appreciated it in each other.... But in the case of
the Indians - it is such a MIXED bag of emotions I
feel toward them!!!! Romance wins, however - and I
found the music haunting and beautiful (Two of them
- she has changed many of them now - did you get
there while she was using the panpipe
one?) I used one of the midi
files here too, and a picture I borrowed from her
(she invites/permits that on her site....
http://www.user.shentel.net/nbaker/Mine/Creative/Submision.htm
If the
truth be known - I believe all would have to
confess to some degree of love and kinship with
Indian-culture. When it comes to the spiritual
realm, I don't believe that I am to judge even those
who chose satan-worship and witchcraft/paganism -
etc. etc. As a Christian who believes that the only
way to Eternal Life is through Christ, I feel a
weight of concern for any who reject Him and choose
other gods and practice self-salvation through any
sort of rituals or ~works~ of their own... That is
inherent in the belief and teachings of
Christ-followers. If we did not feel that concern -
we would be selfish and unloving to not care that
all come to know Christ and enter into Eternal Life
in the way we believe is the only way.... But I do
not (nor did Christ Himself) believe in battering
others or pointing fingers of accusation and
condemnation, for where people take that upon
themselves - they also dethrone God and sit in His
place.. for He has said that He alone judges - Amen!
Only He knows the purity of love in any heart and in
any choice or action on man - for He reads what is
written in the heart.... Sorry for the delay in
responding - but I haven't even caught Brandis'
journal up yet - not since her Papaws' sudden and
unexpected death! It seems that either I am busy or
she is busy playing or we are both busy and/or
playing together... and even her e-mail sometimes
doesn't get checked for days! :-( But we are working
on it. Hope all are well, yourself included....
Bye for now, Love and hugs from, ~ your GYPSY,
(Nina)
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From:
Bill Odom willgo@televar.com
~ Subject: Guest Book
Nina: Just wanted to thank you for
the invitation to visit your site and for the
opportunity to get to meet you. There is nothing
harder in life then for a parent to lose a child but
yours is a strong spirit. You have created a
beautiful memorial to your son Eric and in so doing
have climbed from the darkness of despair back into
the light. My best to you my Gypsy friend of the
Shenandoah Valley. May you always to walk in peace
and light. Bill ~ aka Three Paws Visit my Sites
Personal Site: http://www.televar.com/~willgo
Home of The Brotherhood of the Wolf Business Site: http://www.artpros.com
Home of the Idaho Shopper
We are remembered by the tracks we leave behind ...
Hello Bill;
Thank you! For visiting with me, for signing in (and
for letting me know that you couldn't the first time
you came ! ;-) I knew you were going to come back!
Did you find the jug I ~set out for you?~ *grin*
Bill, that was my first personalized award,
and I thank you so very much for it! *S* How sweet
of you, I appreciate it so very much. What a wonder
it is for all of us to get together as we do here
this way..... isn't it? Hope that grass is growing
real pretty for you there! *Teeheehee*
Hugs {{{{{{{Bill}}}}}}} From your GYPSY, (Nina)
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"ChristiAna
Sandru" revchris@golden.net
~ Subject: Thanks
It is beautiful, You have skills and a heart. May
the good Lord bless you, ~ Christian Sandru
"Though our task is not to bring all the world
to Christ, our task is unquestionably to bring
Christ to all the world." (Dr.
A.J. Gordon)
Hello Christian; What a neat NAME
to have! And then to be one too.... your mother must
surely have loved you and the Lord and devoted
herself (and her children)to Him... Blessing you, I
am sure. Thank you for blessing me with a visit and
acknowledgment/appreciation that you were here.
Yours because I'm His, Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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"John
S. Petralito" Advrehtec@de-inc.com
Subject: RE:
Saved and Baptized. He continues to bless us...
gypsy, (Nina) ~Last Sunday, My wife
and I were BAPTIZED by our Pastor. It was so good to
leave the old "us" behind. The ceremony
was wonderful (full body soak) and unlike when I was
a baby, we knew what was going on. We have been
blessed. We let JESUS in and HE has wrapped his arms
around us. When we left the church, it was snowing.
What a sign that JESUS sent us that the air was
cleansed and we were too. Then when we woke the next
morning, we saw a beautiful blue sky, a warm day and
a strong sun. I then started my new job that morning
and flew to NJ to start my first day of training.
"God has a simple plan of salvation for all of
us" I am glad that my wife and I (both 44) were
able to understand this blessing. HE has showered us
with blessings. In HIS name we pray. HE is "I
AM" , ~ John
Dear
John & Wife; Thank you so much for
sharing the wonderful news with all of us here!
Congrats! on your new carreer ascension too! *S*
Will look forward to hearing from either or both of
you again in the future. Love Hugs! Yours because
I'm His, Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From:
Hope Saxton hopewrites@yahoo.com
Subject: Awards From Hope ^A^
Dear Nina, I have spent the last
two days going over your site and am so grateful
that you happened by my page, so we could meet. I am
in awe of your courage, as well as the beautiful
words you write. Your tribute to Eric is a wonderful
way to honor his memory and aid others in their own
healing. You will meet again...I believe this. I am
enclosing two awards. One is for writers and the
other is only given to special sites that touch my
heart. I would like to present them from my heart,
to yours. Your site is one of the most deserving I
have come across. 'GOODBYE' made me cry and the love
in your poetry is amazing. You may link them back to
my site at: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/2124
if you like. They are gifts and as such, are yours
to do with as you please.
It was very nice to have met you, Nina and I hope we
can keep in touch. I also enclose an unending supply
of HUGS (for you to take out in times of sadness). I
wish everything for you. ~ Blessings, Hope
^A^
My
dear Hope! I loved your dove when I first
encountered it in surfing, it is one of the most
beautiful awards I have ever seen. Thank you or
awarding it to me! Thank you for them both! I have
never sought any awards, and each one is such a
thrill to receive from the giver. I cherish yours.
But more than the lovely awards you have created and
given to me - it is the love and soulful sharing
which you took time to do with me, that I cherish
most of all. Thank you, Hope, for all of it, and
most of all, the love. My site, like yours, is
everemerging and growing... so I hope that you will
return from time to time to find a few new laughs in
the humor section r keep up with Miss Brandi - or
just whatever may bless you.... Yours because I'm
His, Love and hugs, {{{{{{{Hope}}}}}}} Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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*apology*
Dear friends, *apology*
I apologize for a ~quiet time~ here. As the second
anniversary of Erics' death (and first of Buffys'),
approached, I found myself less capable of everyday
responsibilities, often getting lost in the world of
memories or obsessive work which I customarily use
as a narcotic in times of pain/stress. (It works for
me - and it is quite advantageious for my
surroundings!!! *grins*)
I was keeping a file of the incoming page-mail for
about two weeks... (just too difficult for me to
deal with at the time - I needed to be physically
busy). Somehow, that file disappeared from my mail
program. I searched through the windows system and
all that - and perhaps one day I will yet run across
it and answer those kind and caring messages which I
always reply to. I feel badly about the loss and
want to say here to anyone who may have written
since the 21st and did not hear from me - I did
receive your messages and planned to catch up
today... and I'm not at all sure what happened when
I clicked on it *sob, sniffle* to do the folder this
morning... but I cannot find it! *More, sobbing,
sniffling*. If I should find it in the future - you
will hear from me and the messages will be added to
this guestbook #7. again..... s-o-r-r-y! ~
From:
Mike Owens docbrat@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Crucifixion article
Gypsy; are you the one who wrote
about the three sabbaths?
Dear Mike.... Yes....
All materials on my site are credited
either to others or myself (or Mr/Ms Anon E. Muss
*giggle*) ~ Have a nice day.... *S*
From your GYPSY, (Nina)
From: Tammye
Owens tammyeo@yahoo.com
Subject: Your page story of Eric
Dear Nina, I just wanted to let you know I visited
your website today. I could not sign the guestbook
as I couldn't it to open up. I'm new at all this.
Anyway I read all about Eric and some of the letters
people wrote to you. I am truly blessed by it all.
I've never been really good at writing, but enjoy it
so reading other people's, especially the poetry. I
have written some myself. Eric was a very talented
young man and I know you are very proud of him. Six
years ago I lost my best friend to cancer, so I can
relate to anyone who's lost someone close to them.
Its been by far the hardest thing I've ever had to
go through. I can't even begin to imagine the death
of a child. I have a fifteen year old son and a
fourteen year old daughter both of which are now
learning to drive and its really scary sometimes.
Thank you for sharing your story to the world, it
has really been an inspiration to me today.
In Christ, Tammye
Hello Tammye;
Thank you very much for writing to me. My guestbook
is my own and not served by any other site. I had
the traditional ones at first - but grew to not feel
comfortable about advertisements on my site. It is
my gift and not for anyones' profit. Just didn't sit
well with me, so I use this e-mail forum. I also
like to answer the e-mail - and/or - offer anonymity
to those who write and do not want to be public. I
am pleased that you enjoyed your visit with me and
hope that you will return again. The site is so
large and varied in the offerings. *S* Sorry to hear
about your loss of a friend to cancer. I have lost
rather many friends to that. One of Erics' best
friends just died a month ago of a particularly
aggressive type of bone-cancer. He struggled so
valiantly and went through all the treatments until
the very end. I was blessed to be able to visit with
him in Richmond a few days before his death. His
story is here.... Scott
Thank you again for communicating with me.
Yours because I'm His, From your GYPSY, (Nina)
From: mike
owens docbrat@yahoo.com
Subject: comments on three sabbaths
Gypsy: By the way, I like your name. It is so
refreshing to find someone who actually agrees with
me. I became a christian in 1974 after going to a
Teen Chalange meeting. Shortly after that, because
of several problems involved in a Friday
crucifixion/ Sunday ressurrection, I came up with
the idea for a Wednesday crucifixion/ Saturday
ressurrection (I even have a date, April 14, 27AD).
However, you are mistaken about the Day of
Preparation. Christ was crucified on the Day of
Preparation, as you stated, but it was on Nisan 14
not 13. The Feast of Passover and the Feast of
Unleavened Bread are so intimately related that with
the passage of time they became as one holiday, the
14th being the day of preparation, and the 15th
being celebrated as the Passover, and the 16th was
the Feast of First Fruits. For an excellent book of
the christian meanings of the Feasts of the Lord
read: "The Feasts of the Lord" by Kevin
Howard and Martin Rosenthal, Thomas Nelson
Publishers, Nashville. Please think kindly of me, my
intent is not to demean your convictions, but merely
to share common beliefs with a kindred spirit.
ICJ ~ Docbrat
Hello
Again, Mike!
----> By the way, I like your name.
^Thank you, I
like it too. My father named me! A Jewish friend
wrote me and told me that the Jewish meaning of
Nina, is a pearl... *s*.... My fiancι agrees with
that and says I am, to him, definitely, "of
great price" (see why I am marrying him?
*giggle*) Think "kindly of you" ???? I
Love encountering a kindred spirit, I find it so
delightful to study the word and grow. Although it
usually means a rather lonely stand in convictions
and knowledge, I, like you, feel very humble and
meek about my learning, and am always open to more
and more - (hungering and thirsting always!). I will
get the book you mentioned and study some more!
*smiling* Thank you so very much for bringing new
light to me! Currently, I am studying all about
angels. THAT is a most sobering and enlightening
experience, for sure... and in the process, I've had
to look around and see how many New-Age influences
are even here around me at home! So far - I know
that all angels are men, none have wings (only the
Cherubim and Seraphim have wings) It's almost as bad
as the SantaClaus recognition/upheaval here which
took place here many, many years ago! (did you
discover that yet on my site?) I have little time at
this time of the year - for I love to preserve foods
and an at the end of that season with only tomatoes
left to be doing (am doing that today - 48 quarts!)
But your message makes me want to drop everything
and jump into study! *RVBS!* I hope that you
will continue to explore and share with me! May we
have an e-mail fellowship? I would like
that. Is Tammye your wife? And - would
you share a little more about yourself? (both of you
if related). Don't even know where you are
geographically - but then, that isn't nearly so
important as where you are Spiritually, and I know
about that already! *grinning!* Thank you so very
much. And tell me - is the book you recommend, the
source from which you got the information I missed
in my study? If not - what are your sources. I just
came across it all from so many sources that I don't
really remember them all. I remember using the works
of Josephus and others.... Well... please continue
to write. I cherish every meeting and association
with fellow-sojourners and students of the Word. God
is so good to unite us in special fellowships of
like-mindedness. Isn't He wonderful? *joyful-smile*
Yours because I'm His, >From
your GYPSY, (Nina)
***
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><> ><>
Subject: Re: Hi
!!!!! This is Just Jim Checking in, Again,
MY Dear
Nina, Just a short note tonight to let you know
I still have you in my Prayers and heart at this terrible
time of remembering the awful loss of losing your son
Eric so suddenly at the time when he was just beginning
to enter into his life long dream. there is no telling
what he would have accomplished judging form what he had
already succeeded in overcoming in his very short stay
here on this earth with you. He done things that other
young people only dream of doing when they had the same
chance as he only they let theirs' slip away like mist in
the morning sun where Eric used each day to further his
education to the utmost and would not let any obstacle
stand in his way. We have no way of knowing what he would
have become if he had but stayed home that night and
received that letter of admission into the next step of
his education. I would be willing to bet that he would
have been a note worthy person as he was already gaining
note worthy characteristics. In reading about him it
seems he should have been older than he was. Most people
could not do what he done education wise in twice the
time in school as they would not utilize there time to
study as Eric did. A lot of them just wanted to have a
good time and party. Your Son spent his party time
helping others to overcome their obstacles as he was
doing that terrible night two years ago. If it had not
have happened he would most likely have been helping some
one tonight as he was then. Whenever he come to an
obstacle and figured out by himself how to get across I
can not see him going on to the next one without first
looking back to see if any one needed help getting across
whether it was a friend or a total stranger he would
offer a hand. Now then if all of the ones that he has
helped likewise offered a little of themselves to others
in turn as Your son Eric what a great difference it would
make in this World of ours? You could say that He had
added to the good of man kind. He has left his mark on a
lot of folks at any rate and you should be proud of him
My Dear Nina. I pray that you were able to take a smile
with you today. I Know it was hard for you, but I would
like to believe that he would like for you to have
brought one or he might think that you wanted him to be
back in this SIN ridden world that we live in. I must
close now Our Dear Sister Nina as I need to rest up for
another day at work. If I could make you feel any better
by doing so I would stay up all night and write back and
forth but I would just keep bringing up things that would
add to your hurt which I have already done tonight my
Dear. I am sorry. I will check on you tomorrow evening if
I do not have to work-over. You can answer when you feel
like it Dear One as we will be waiting right here holding
you tight in our hearts and in our prayers and will keep
you there until which time GOD calls and says "Come
It Is Time To Come Home, Nina I Have Prepared A Special
Place For You Right Here Beside Your Son, Eric, and Other
Loved Ones" Oh what a great day it will be in Heaven
that day. Now My Dear Nina I must warn you that I will
ask GOD to put this off just as long as he can without it
interfering with his grand plan as there are still a lot
of lost sheep that need you to help them get back to the
flock. Good Night or morning Dear Sister.
With Our Love and Hugs ~ {{{{{{ OUR NINA}}}}}
Jim, Barbara & Kayla,
Wednesday, 4/1/98 - Hello
Jim (and also Barbara) First, will share a bit
of last nights' journal which was more or less addressed
to Eric, actually....
Tuesday, March 31, 1998
Gee - just like old times.... actually clicking on the
days' date and wanting to write about the day. Not that
there is anything particularly spectacular or unusual
about this second eve of April 1st after your leaving,
Eric, and the first of Buffys' leaving to join you (if
such faithful and loving spirits do go to heaven....?)
This evening, at dusk, Brandi brought me a little bouquet
of our flowers from up there in what used to be the
Tulip-bed when you were born.... They are our Hyacinths,
which are so nicely fragrant (like lilacs) and this year,
quite deeply colored. I thought of you, my dear son. It
seems like just a few years ago when it was you bringing
these same flowers in to me in your little 8 year-old
hands, giving flowers to your mommy. You continued to
give them to me for the rest of your life, too! I
remember..... And then, last year, those forget-me-nots
which bloomed for Mothers' day.... flowers I had not
planted and had failed to have grow successfully for me
before then. They would bloom and look so lovely, but
when summer came, would die off.... I'm hoping that they
will come to me again this year too. It felt like they
were a very special gift last year... my first year
without you, my son, here with me in this world. But you
are with me so strongly, and I guess that you always will
be - for I cannot imagine myself ~not~ as your mother....
It seems to me, as your pages grow online in the
cyberworld, that you live on and grow endeared and even
mourned-for in the world every bit as though you were
still among us... It is a form of immortality to be a
writer and express thoughts and feelings that not all
know how to put into words. This year will be a new
tradition. I will be taking gingerbread up to Freesoul
and sharing it with all the little inhabitants of that
portion of the earth where you are most a part of earthly
things yet.... (Aside from in my heart and our home...)
It felt good that the weather has turned so gentle and
flowers are blooming and your memorial-area fountain is
flowing melodically, its' sound even coming up from under
the deck and audible in the kitchen with the doors open.
How I pray that I will be able to get out there onto our
rock - but if not, I will be close by along the ridge....
beside it - walking those paths we've walked together and
remembering.... I remember you everywhere... all the
time... but tomorrow, I will feel closer to where you
have gone and await me. It is now a gentle reminder that
I too will one day be released from the cares of this
world and move on. This Spring would have been your
graduation from post-grad school and you would have had
your Masters' and might have even begun to teach as you
had considered doing. Many writers are teachers as they
write. Your love and comprehension of it all would have
been a great gift and inspiration to many. Your death has
been too. You have been like a great lighthouse in the
midst of the entire world and because of you there, Even
some lost and stranded souls have found their way to
truth, light and for some.... healing. I still have not
had that dinner at the Outback Steakhouse as we'd planned
for so long... But I'm thinking that it will happen soon
now. It will be one of the last of things you were so
eagerly wanting to do, and now it will happen'..... just
as your words are being read everywhere..... I can hear
you telling me that I'm doing good... *S*
~ April 1: 1998 - 10:50 p.m. Dear Jim
and Barbara,
The day went pretty well until now when the unbidden
thought struck me without warning, "that right at
this time, two years ago - Eric took his last
breath". And I wasn't there. And I didn't know it
for three hours! Now this night has become more painful
having been slashed with that memory/thought coming at me
out of ~the blue~..... My heart became so heavy... and
then... I came into my mail and here was this wonderful
letter from you, Jim, which touched me so very deeply.
Not only because of your understanding and knowledge of
my Eric.... but your understanding and bond of kinship
with me... it is an extraordinary thing to be sure! I
thank God with teary eyes and a most grateful heart that
He has brought you into my life to extend to me such
compassion and empathy for this narrow path in the shadow
of the Valley of Death which I sometimes find myself
precariously balanced upon.... He must have motivated you
- knowing that I would be helped and comforted by your
words this night. ~ The day was a nice one! Although we
had a very hard storm around 11 o'clock - it passed on
its' way and the rest of the day was wonderful..... ~
Pause: <Writing the above brought me to tears again,
Eyes need a little rest - will go lay down a bit and see
if they refresh themselves for a visit with you this
evening here in e-mail.> ~ Today: (April 2nd) re: last
night...... sorry, Jim, just had a little spell and shut
down to go to sleep. Wanted to write now - but still am
not ready - will be back later.... ~ Tonight......... So
I am finishing up tonight.... then going to bed....I
wanted to write - knowing that it would relieve you to
know that I am okay - but there are human limitations and
this was the first chance I could get back and do so.
Forgive the time between. Please? ~ I'm really feeling
pretty good. Feel very "at peace" as I always
do when I go there.... It was a TERRIBLE ordeal
physically for my feet and by about six o'clock I took
pain medication which has subdued the beast adequately
and I'm okay now.... VERY hard to climb a ladder (after
the surgeries) without using the front half of your foot
- but putting your feet through till you are putting main
weight on heel area instead of normal position. The
stepping across the two huge rocks. The wind kind of
dries your eyes. And it was quite windy indeed! But the
sun was very warm on our skin ... The gingerbread was
probably the best I ever made! *S* I ate three pieces of
it! (we were there for 5 hours) Part of the time I lay
out on the rock right at the edge - on my back looking
straight up at the sky and it almost felt like I was
floating around in and/or under it! I never did that
before. It used to seem much more dangerous to be on that
rock than it does now that Eric is a part of the place
and I know that I will be too. It seems so truly ~Home~
to me now - and non-threatening! I had never chosen a
spot for my ashes and always told the family that they
could do whatever they wished to do with them <except
keep them> - for I strongly wanted to have my ashes
return to the earth as God said.... I always felt it
should be somewhere romantically beautiful - like the
ocean or mountains..... a garden somewhere would have
been okay too.... But since I had to make the choice for
Eric - it became my own as well... and now there can be
no other place.... *melancholy smile* I played the
soundtrack from "Philadelphia" and then
Shepherds' Moon (by ENYA).... Also, Vince Gills, Go Rest
High On That Mountain. It was SOOOoooooo good that Roger
stayed home from work and was with us - for the `state'
had decided to work on scraping the road up through there
today! That isn't much more than a horse trail already -
and we had a terrible storm around noon - and given those
two situations - the road was the worst challenge to
navigate. I am not at all sure I would have been able to
do it at all! I would have had to return in evening after
the big equipment was out of the road! ALSO - it was good
that he allowed me to ~walk over him~ *teeheehee* (a real
first!) - between the two huge rocks which would have
hurt these feet so much MORE if he had not allowed
himself to be a bridge.... *S* Peach and Brandi were
there... God was there...*S* A hawk, as usual,
appeared... I don't think I ever feel alone there.....
Need to stop here. Kind of a mixed bag here - some of
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and it's already early
Friday morning!
Well - that fills you in about the day... and I have to
get to bed..... Will get back to normal soon.... *s* Hope
all is well there...
Love and hugs for you, dear brother and sister and
Kayla...
From your GYPSY, (Nina)
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From: "Linda
Rekshan" rekshanl@pilot.msu.edu
Dear Nina--- It is 5:05 a.m. and my
worries have awakened me well before I'd like to be up. I
discovered you as a result of my computer search
regarding "prayer". What a blessing your words
have been! Through you and your wonderful words, the Lord
has been able to work. My heart has softened and I am
able to allow in His healing comfort and peace (the peace
which transcends all understanding). Thank you for your
ministry and the opportunity of enjoying your God-given
talents. Keep up the great work. ~ William
Rekshan.
Subject: Re: Prayer pages
Hello Friend (William?) ~ How blessed it
makes me feel when I receive a message such as yours -
for it is the most fulfilling and wonderful feeling to
know that He has been able to use me. I hope that you
will come again - for there is so much to see at our
site. Thank you for letting me know you were here and
blessed by Him through the visit! I am.... Have enclosed
a midi that always comes to my mind when I know that He
has used me... "We Are An Instrument"
Yours because I'm His, ~ Nina
<><
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From:
Gerald Baker mslman@cei.net ~ Subject: Site
While surfing the net for sites about
Warren, I came across your site. You have done a
magnificent job!!! I really enjoyed my visit. ~
Gerald
Baker ~ http://www.cei.net/~mslman
Hello ~Fellow
`Bakers' ~ My very best/closest and dearest
penpal is a REAL Razorback fan and is also a neighbor of
yours, Leona Littlefield. Thanks for visiting and for the compliment! Always like getting strokes. *RVBG!* You have a lovely
family and have done a nice job of sharing them on-site.
*S* Thank you. I didn't see an awards page - so I will
just inspire you to create one, for I am sending you one
from me. *g*
<><
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"JOHNENE
I. ANDERSON" JOHANDER@nmu.edu
~ Subject: thank you
Dear Nina, I'm sorry for your loss and
know your pain,
as I lost my earthly father almost two years ago and your
pain touched me deeply. My dad died just after I entered
college and I so much wanted him to see me graduate. I
wanted him to be proud of me. He did get to see his
forty-two year old daughter graduate from high school
with straight A's, but I wanted to do so much for him and
now he's gone. The one thing we know is that the Precious
Lord on high will reunite us with all of our loved ones
in the hereafter. I pray that God will continue to bless
you and fill your life with Christian friends and love. I
am strongly opposed to abortion and printed out your
"LEGACY OF ABORTION", I hope you don't mind,
I'm going to share it with anyone I can get to read it.
Again, I thank you and your son. God's Peace and Love, Sunny
Dear Sunny;
Thank you for your compassion and your sharing. I can
well relate to your wanting your father with you when you
graduate... and how you must have missed him on that
occasion. I attended Erics' graduation a few weeks after
he was killed and I, with utmost pain - received his B.A.
(MagnaCumLaude) and visited with his campus of friends..
It was one of the most difficult of things I have ever
done. Even after these two years, I still hear from his
friends. How wonderful that you returned to college! It
makes me wonder what your reasons were to do so..... a
calling to a particular career? Thank you for taking and
sharing from this ministry, I am so happy that you did.
The Christ asked, three times in a row, "Lovest thou me? Feed my
sheep" God
will be blessing you and keeping you as you set out to
accomplish whatever it is you want to do with your life.
Thank you for sharing a part of that with me. Love &
Hugs, ~ Yours because I'm His, Nina
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jkerrig@banet.net ~ Subject: God Bless You And All Of Us!`
May God Be with us in all times of our
lifes good or bad! ~ Jackie
He is, Jackie.
Always and always will be. Yours because I'm His ~ Nina
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Selena Coy shibner@ind.tds.com ~ Subject: GOD BLESS YOU
YOU ARE A VERY CARING AND LOVING PERSON .
You have reminded me how short life can really be so we
should treasure each moment because the next could be are
last . I have 4 angles and I don't know what I would do
without them and hope to never find out. My oldest just
turned 16 and is driving and it scares me so, a boy I
know that was only 26 got killed in a car wreck two weeks
ago .I told my Trisha I was not going to let her drive
anymore and she said mom that does not mean I will not
leave you some day just because you will not let me drive
I told her I know I just love you so much. Thank you for
reminding me how wonderful our kids are. I really love
your site I know your Eric would love what you have done
for him . I would wish all would realize how wonderful
their kids are and that God gave them a wonderful gift
and they should cherish it because it can be toke from
them in a blink of a eye. thank you so much with love
from one mother to another ~ Selena
Dear Selena;
It always blesses me to hear from our visitors. Thank you
so much for writing. For some reason, I have always felt
and raised my children to feel, the importance of each
day and every parting. Perhaps it was because of the fact
that I read a lot and learned so long ago how sadly many
people take things for granted! Perhaps it was the Spirit
that brought me to that awareness of how precious every
moment is. I am very glad that I always was that way...
for when I read of those who part forever with anger or
anything other than love and appreciation in their
hearts.... I wonder how they can bear that. It is hard
enough even if you did hug, kiss, wave and thank God for
your loved ones' existence... to have them never come
home again. Your daughter is right... we all have our
appointed time to leave this existence and graduate into
Eternity. *S* It sounds as though you have raised her
well and to be wise. *S* Our children are not only our
gift FROM God, but our gifts TO Him as well. I hope you
will visit again - We are much too big and varied to be
seen in one visit! *s* ~ Yours because I'm His, Nina
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Raj Roy ~
Subject: Hello
Dear Mrs. Baker, I am Noel's mother,
Renu. You might wonder at this message at this time. I
will be honest with you. I tried writing cards to you for
the past three years and just could not go through with
it. I am ashamed of my lack of strength. Even now the
tears are just flowing and I do not understand it. From
the moment I saw you at the graduation ceremony, I have
held you in high esteem and admire you greatly. I know
that you write to Noel and he writes to you. He does not
share your relationship with me and I respect the fact
that he needs his privacy. Eric meant so much to him that
there are no words to describe it. I am a believing
Christian, but for a very long time I could not accept
the Lord's decision to take Eric to Him. Even now every
time I look at Noel, I know that although he has not said
anything in these three years, I know the pain in there.
I thank and praise the Lord for your wonderful son whose
life has meant so much to my son and therefore also to
me. When Noel was at Ferrum he always told us how he was
in good company and being looked after by Eric and was
having great fun and not to worry about him being lonely.
That made the pain of parting for me so much easier. I
was so anxious to meet this young man. He meant so much
to Nigel too because Noel's friends were his now. I feel
somehow it is easier for me to write to you now, while
Noel is in the States and I am on my own here. I cannot
understand my own feelings of this grief or the tears.
May be someday I will be able to see you. I cannot stop
these tears from falling and I do not know how to write
all that I feel. I am so glad that Noel will be seeing
you. I do not know exactly when he is coming to you. I
pray for you every day and ask the almighty father to
shower His richest blessings of peace, good health and
happiness in rich abundance on you. With prayers and good
wishes, Renu
Hello My Dear Renu;
How blessed I was to receive your communication with me!
Most of all, because Noel now feels to me to be my son in
a way - for the closeness and intimacy of friendship
between our sons was so special and Eric lives on in
Noel. Also - Noel gave me the greatest peace in being
right there with Eric through his last breath of this
physical life, and he knew and related to me that not one
moan or cry of pain ever came from those precious lips of
my son as he passed from this life on to the next.... And
so I know of certainty, as only one who was actually
present WITH Eric at those last moments, COULD possible
know and report, that Erics' death came entirely
painlessly and instantly... and what more could a mother
need to know and hold dear about the circumstances...
that this priceless knowledge that God appointed Noel to
impart to me! And even more - that he died with his dear
friends in his cherished Firebird, at the pinnacle of
academic achievements and honors - accepted to a top
post-grad school (which, though he did not get to hear
that the acceptance to William and Mary had arrived that
very day, he did, none-the-less, achieve that honor and
success of his pursuit of desire for further learning...)
Even Erics' intent of giving his night to help another
student added a noble note which exemplified who and what
Eric was as a young man who was always ready and willing
to serve or in any way meet the needs of those who
requested or needed of him as Dr. John Hart had requested
of in the tutoring he was returning to do that night. I
could not have chosen circumstances more comforting than
exactly as they happened on that night, dear Renu... with
Noel there at his side and an unbroken bond &
relationship which remains between intact with your son
who is so caring, compassionate and so honorably high in
personal and spiritual integrity! I am blessed through
your son (both of your sons, in fact....)...and that is a
blessing bestowed upon me by you and your husband and by
our God. I thank you for that. Yesterday, Noel arrived
around lunchtime and we all ate together ... Later, in
spite of a light rain now and then - the four of us,
Bill, Noel, myself and Brandi, all went up to Freesoul
where Noel was at last able to share that incredible
experience of so spiritual a place as where we took
Erics' remains. This rock was where Eric first said to us
"Mommy, I want my name to be written in The Lambs'
Book Of Life". I have shared about that on the
internet site where you may visit and even see Eric at
that young age and the pictures of his three-fold baptism
in the same river where I myself was baptized myself at
another time. There was always something very special and
spiritual about Erics' life - and I feel so blessed that
God gave me such a son for so many years as I had him
with me. When I see Noel, and when we talk of Eric, I
feel so good. I think Noel does too. Eric and I shared a
lot of the same uniqueness of personality, and it is fun
to share that as it feels to both of us as though it is
Eric we are with... *S* I hope that you do not mind that
I feel somewhat of a mother- bond with Noel? Brandi has
always liked him a lot too, and yesterday, when he was
with us, she was a bit melancholy and remembering Eric,
(You could tell in her eyes and quietness,) and I think
she must feel this mystery of bonding and of Erics'
presence in Noel as stayed very close to him and even sat
on the floor at his feet leaning up against his leg as he
sat talking to me here at the computer where we were
sharing some of the music on Erics' pages
"Online". Mother to mother - you will be glad
to note that I fed him well and he ate heartily (as
always! *smile*) - I lectured him on the necessity of
eating more vegetables (which he told me, grinning, that
you lecture him about and insist upon as well.... so he
understands that" mothers are like that!" as he
put it. And, when he was insisting on leaving last night,
with rain and some fog, I insisted that he use Bills'
anti- fog spray on his windows and that he call me when
he arrived safely home with Nigel again. Once again, he
grinned, nodding, and affirmed that he understood how
~Mothers worry~ and that I would need that call from him
before I would rest well... Indeed - it was 4 a.m. and I
was still awake when he did call! It is understandable to
all of us, that I suffer more than a common anxiety about
the hazards of the unexpected which may happen on a rainy
night mountain road..... Well - I hope that you will
write again, dear one! For we have a bond which our sons
formed for us *smiles* and we are mothers & friends
for life. Thank you so VERY, very, very much for writing
to me. I ask of you often and send my prayers and
love.... you mean a lot to me through this unseen bond...
and are a part of my life forever. Although sharing pain
and grief may bring tears, dear Renu - it also brings
comfort, strength and healing and you blessed me with
every word, feeling and thought you sent! Thank you
again! Until next we speak...
With love and hugs, I remain, Yours because I am His
(Gods'), Nina
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Terry Hand tlhand@mindspring.com ~ Subject: Loved your website!
Your website was an inspiration to me.
Thank you. Denee Hand, Atlanta, GA
Thank you, Denee,
for sharing your appreciation with me. It always blesses
me to know. Yours because I'm His, In Christ ~ Nina
From: Terry Hand tlhand@mindspring.com
Subject: You are in my prayers!
Dear Nina and family, I took the time to
read your whole website. I know that even though you are
grieving, the Lord Almighty can comfort you and wrap His
arms around you. Sometimes He will send angels to
minister to you during your lowest moments. I am
eternally touched about Eric's life and how he expressed
himself through his writing. I was happy for him as he
went to college and found more than solitude. I have a
son in middle school that has a hard time fitting in the
normal school setting. He is much more advanced in his
outlook on life and he expresses his problems in his
writing. We have been told that he needs counseling
because he is not like everyone else. He is a delight to
me at home! I want him to be himself, not trying to
follow the most popular group or groups that want to feel
superior to others. I wanted to let you know that so many
middle schoolers do not fit in at that time of their
lives. Some blossom in high school and some in college.
It is not an easy time in a child's life. The only true
meaning in life is having a relationship through knowing
Jesus Christ in a personal way . That is the answer for
any problem. It does not mean the road ahead is an easy
one, but you have Jesus to help you! May our Lord and
Saviour comfort you and ease your pain from missing Eric.
Ask the Lord to take your heart and hug it daily! Get
into the word of God to see what He has for you now! I
will pray for you and your family. Love from our family!
John 14: 26, 27
"But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom
the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all
things, and bring all things to your remembrance,
whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you,
my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I
unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it
be afraid."
D. Hand ~ Atlanta, GA
Hello again;
I sure know and identify with where you are.
As I continue to get into more of Erics' writings, your
son might like to read Erics' some from when he was near
that age. I probably won't be accomplishing much over the
summer - for I don't get much time online when we can be
outdoors! *big smile* Hopefully, if you visited the
spiritual and prayer sections of our site - you know and
will be assured by my relationship to our Father who is
Lord of all that I do and all that I am, think or feel.
This world is most definitely not my home, it never was
Erics' either. I believe that those of us who remain free
and independent of group-thinking and behaviors - feel
this estrangement to a painful degree all of our lives.
But we are only appointed to be in this world, not ~Of~
it - so this is as it should be. Conformity was NEVER
once a part of Christs' exemplary life, was it! *S* I
thank you for your prayers on our behalf, and we will be
lifting you and your family as well. *S* Since I am quite
involved in time-consuming activities with my 8 year-old
Brandi, I doubt that I will complete the book on children
and handicaps, for two years or so... but any thoughts or
experiences you might want to share with me about that
will be considered and drawn from where appropriate, (if
you should want to do that). Standing alone and being
ones' *own person* is a most definite handicap - even if
only social in nature. If you read of my Brandi, you know
that she has overcome many handicaps and has progressed
beyond the power of them and is even mainstreaming with
her peers with little real difficulty. Time consuming and
demanding of dedication and perseverance, but rewarding
in many ways too, especially in the close bonding between
us (very much like her Uncle Eric and I). I can see that
you have that with your son too. Thank you for sharing
our life and communicating with me. I would look forward
to a continued correspondence if you like. Yours because
I'm His, In Christ ~ Nina
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Audree Hurlburt Audree@worldnet.att.net
Hi Nina, well it has been a long time
since i have been here and you have certainly added more
neat things. I now have pages of my own and would like to
put a banner link to yours if you don't mind. I have not
set up your url yet, because I wanted to with you first.
I am the lady from the Circle of Friends that posted to
my penpal group about your beautiful site and so I hope
now I may be honored in sharing your site always. God
Bless and a very Happy Mother's Day to you Audree
Hurlburt ~ http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Flats/5746/
Subject: Re: Hi presenting
"Misty Mountain Award to you
Good Morning Audree', Thank you my dear
friend. Happy Mothers' day to you! I am honored to appear
with you and thankful that you have chosen to do ~ Yours
because I'm His, Your GYPSY, (Nina)
Date: Sun, 10 May ~ Awards
sent ~ Subject: Most beautiful
From: Audree Hurlburt Audree@worldnet.att.net
Well what a Mother's Day gift you have
given me, and thank you so much, it is beautiful, looks
like Tenn. I used to live in Maryville, Thanks Nina and
that is too precious, will get it up this am God bless
you and I am most honored Much love and Happy Mother's
Day to you ~ Audree
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From:
Paul pnb@cyberstate.infi.net ~ Subject: Hey!!!
My Dear Friend Nina, Hi!!! How are
you???? I have had you on my mind and felt so bad for not
writing to you.....I just wanted to send you this to let
you know that there are still people out here that care
about you. I know this must be a very hard day for you
cause it sure is for me too. But I will get through it. I
just wanted to let you know you are not forgotten by me.
Please take care and write when you have the time.
Sincerely, Paul ~ http://www.cyberstate.infi.net/~pnb
Hello Paul;
So nice to hear from you again - it's been a while! I
thank you for thinking of me on Mothers' Day. I know how
much you are missing your mother as I miss Eric. When I
created the page awards, I sent both the Misty Blue
Mountain Award and The Eric Lee Baker Award for Poetry
and Literary Excellence - to you for your page. I
wondered why I had not heard from you and had not seen it
put up - so am wondering if something went wrong and you
perhaps did not receive them? Let me know, Paul, and I
will resend. Bet you have your corn in and it's growing?
*Yummmmm!* Perhaps Brandi and I will have to take a trip
south and drop in for dinner? *giggle* Write and catch me
up on your life if you get a chance. I know that, like
me, you are probably busy outside more than inside (when
the rain lets up!)... But would love an update. Hugs and
love, Paul, to you and your beautiful family.
From, Your Gypsy, (Nina)
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From:
Lana Whited nfs4334@ferrum.edu
Nina, Wes Astin forwarded me your
message regarding Eric's Iron Blade reviews. I was happy
to learn last semester that you've put up the web page
and I'm quite impressed with it. Do you have a copy of
the poem about Eric's death which I wrote and which was
published in the Chrysalis last spring? (It's
called "Crocus.") Let me know if you
don't and I will happily e-mail it to you. Eric was in two of my classes during the semester when he
died. In fact, another student in one of those classes
died the same semester. It was a small class (started out
with around 10 students), and the deaths started at the
top of the roll (the other student died before Eric and
her last name started with "A"). That was a
hard semester; in fact, I think the afternoon when I went
to class after Eric's death (our class met at 2 p.m.),
that was the toughest experience I've ever had in a
classroom. I remember that one of Eric's friends sat in
his seat that day, and although you might think that
would make us feel strange, somehow it made us all feel
better. And we talked about the novel we were supposed to
talk about, because we thought that was what Eric would
have wanted to do if he had been there. I believe the
novel was "The Color Purple," by Alice Walker.
I can't count the times Eric sat in my office and talked
about what movies he's seen and what movies he wanted to
see. He always found it hard to believe if I hadn't seen
a movie he really liked (the fact that the nearest
theatres are an hour away and we all had work to do never
struck him as good reasons for not going, I guess). His
exuberance about film and music were what I liked best
about him: that pure, unfeigned joy he had when he talked
about it. His passion for it has continued to carry me
through the quicksand of students whose attitudes about
any cultural experience are all too often the opposite -
so non-existant that they threaten to suck me down. I never drive toward the college from Rocky Mount on 40
without thinking about Eric. I'm not sure I will ever be
able to (and I'm not sure I want to). Well, I didn't mean
to go on so. I've meant to write to you about the web
page for months, and I'm glad Wes's message prompted me. Lana
"Never
mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a
living; the other helps you make a life." -
Sandra Carey
Lana A. Whited ~ Associate Professor of English and
Journalism ~
Ferrum College ~ e-mail: lwhited@ferrum.edu
Dear Lana;
Thank you so very much for your letter. It means much
more than I could find words to say. Everything that
everyone shares with me about Eric is so special to me!
Did I meet you when I came to graduation? In case you
haven't been to the site lately, I am sending you a file
you might find helpful in checking to see if you've seen
everything. Gee.... No! I never received any more
mailings from Ferrum - but would SOOOoooo love to have
your poem, Crocus. Do you mind it I post it on his site?
Would you like to write a tribute/memorial `something' to
put in that section? And - may I post your e-mail in the
guestbook as well? There are many people who would enjoy
reading what you had to say about Eric, but I realize you
might not want it made public. I don't know if you would
have seen the Autobiography he wrote the first year
there, as an English assignment - but I am almost
finished entering it into the computer - One last chapter
to go...but it is posted ~ in-progress... Here
I also have a lot of his poetry that you may never have
seen, and will be posting that in the next month or
two... the work goes slowly sometimes. (because of the
emotions which accompany the work as I find that it
enhances that sense of loss of all that he was and had to
offer and all that we shared as mother and son and as
writers and intellectuals who had a close relationship on
many other levels of mutual talents and interests as
well. *BTW* - The Color Purple was one of my all-time
favorite movies from the time I first saw it. I have
posted Erics' review too. Did you see Powder? It was one
of the last movies Eric and I attended together and both
loved! When I saw it again after he was dead - I was
struck by the symbolic notes of it which applied to Eric
as to the main character in the movie. There was a lot of
Eric in that Character.... What do you think? I would be
interested to hear about your opinion. Thank you for the
time and effort you are so kindly willing to give to me.
I appreciate it with all my being! I will send along
postage to you too... if you send me your address as
well. And - would it be possible to obtain other editions
of Chrysalis? I would like to receive the issues. I feel
a part of Ferrum because it was a large part of Erics'
growth, life and fulfillment. Which reminds me, I have
created an Eric Lee Baker (internet) award which I send
to sites I find and feel that he would have felt
commendable. After I created it, I began to think about
the possibility of having them created in print and given
out at both his High School and at Ferrum annually. Not
sure about how I will go about it - but took my
sketchbook to the printer Monday had he says he can do
the same work I have done in computer-graphics creation.
*smiles* You can check it out here, Lana. Would
appreciate your opinion about my doing this at Ferrum
too...
Thank you again! Love in Christ, Yours because I'm His, Nina
*******Note*******
Lana sent the poem she wrote, "Crocus"
and I have published our
communications here .....
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From: Arda
Blevins arda2@bmi.net
Dear Nina -- What a beautiful tribute to
your son!. He must have been a wonderful young man.
Perhaps God, knowing the future for each of us, knew the
best time to call him to sleep, before the terrible time
of trouble that will soon come just prior to the second
coming of Jesus. I am another mother who knows first-hand
the deep pain of losing a child. I can see that God has
opened a door for you to minister to others in a way that
one only can if she has experienced the loss herself.
Since the Bible says, "The living know that they
shall die but the dead know not anything," I know my
child is sleeping. But one day, an angel will gently pick
her up and put her back into my arms. What a glorious day
that will be. May God continue to bless you as you reach
out to others. Arda Blevins
Hello Arda;
Thank you for leaving me a message as you visited. I so
appreciate that kind thoughtfulness. I am sorry to hear
that you have also tasted the terrible pain of losing a
child, but am comforted in knowing that you know she is
safe and secure from all harm now and awaiting reunion
with you. You also know of the commission we have been
given in~ 2
Corinthians 1: 3&4. Amen, then.
Yours because I am His, ~ Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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LWare1@aol.com
Hi. I have been reading your memories of
Eric. My son was killed in a car wreck on June 15, l997.
I don't think it gets any easier. I miss him so much. He
was my rock. I enjoyed your memories. Linda Ware
Hello Linda;
Thank you for writing. I am so sorry that we share that
terrible loss. There is nothing comparable - especially
if you, as you say, like me, were so close to him. I
don't know how old, or his name - but I see that you are
still in the first year and close to the time of my loss
two years ago. Please write more and we can share - I
hope that perhaps I can help - I certainly know how much
I have benefited most by those mothers who suffered the
same loss.... My heart aches for you. The anniversary, I
see, is soon approaching for you too. I went through the
same terrible time on both anniversaries of the 1996
April first.... thinking of all the last things of those
innocent and unsuspecting days of contentment in our life
and relationship which would all too soon end.... Some
people prefer NOT to talk about it. But many of us feel
better to be able to share - and find that so often,
those around us cannot bear it.... I hope that you have
the comfort and support of family and friends - and
please remember that I am here and always, always willing
and ready to share with you, Linda. I embrace you with
compassionate pain and anguish and send you,
{{{{{{{Linda}}}}}}} cyber-hugs & love
Yours because I'm His.... ~ Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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Well hello to a
Room-mate! *S* <50+ Chatroom>
So nice to see you here in the guestbook. No! I had no
idea about the feathered-flight-attendants! But it makes
sense to me! *G* Thanks for sharing that! *wink* And Love
and HUGS for {{{{{{{Ken}}}}}}} Any more neat stuff to
share? *S* Yours because I'm His,
Write again to Your GYPSY, (Nina)
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