From: "Craig Wanke" ctennwa@worldnet.att.net 
I'm new at the Net. I want to talk about my son Matthew with someone. He died May 6, 1997. He was 15. His first love was basketball, and while playing a pick up game with some friends in a church gym, he suddenly collapsed. His heart stopped, and he was gone. The medical examiner said there was a congenital heart defect. He always seemed so healthy, and was very active in sports. We didn't know. OH, HOW WE MISS OUR BOY!!!!! I hope you will write back to me.             Matthew's Mother, Diane

Hello Diane; I am very sorry that the way we met is because we share losing a son. Here are hugs {{{{{{{Diane}}}}}}} and know that from the bottom of my heart, and in every fiber of my being, I understand! I am one year ahead of you down this road of loss and pain. You are probably, like me, going through that odd ~countdown~ and I am once again this year. Remembering the last things we did together ~Just Before~ - when we were so happy and unsuspecting... living and loving and then.... I am here, and will always write and listen and care. Please do write anytime you care to or need to. I hope that the sharing at our net-site will help you too. I don't know how much you have read of it - so will send you another message with each individual part listed so that all you have to do is click on the address to go there easily... Please tell me about Matthew and your family. I will be honored to have you share with me and hope that it will somehow bring comfort and healing...       Yours because I'm His, Your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: "Amy Jansen"
MOSADJ@MOSSNET.MOSSGAS.CO.ZA
You blessed me, may our Lord Jesus bless you too!!!!!!!!!
Love Amy

Thank you Amy, for sharing that feeling with me.
Yours because I'm His, Your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: kenge@earthlink.net
Subject: Angels ~ Hi Nina, Just thought I'd like to share something with you (assuming of course you are unawares)...Have you ever noticed strange configurations of birds in flight sometimes? look closely at the void in the center of the flight...They are escorting an Angel donchaknow?....Really! Just figuring 'bout time some secrets are revealed. Light and Love       Ken (EZ1)

Well hello to a Room-mate! *S* <50+ Chatroom> So nice to see you here in the guestbook. No! I had no idea about the feathered-flight-attendants! But it makes sense to me! *G* Thanks for sharing that! *wink* And Love and HUGS for {{{{{{{Ken}}}}}}} Any more neat stuff to share? *S*
Yours because I'm His, Write again to Your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: Hillary Sadur hillary.
sadur@unforgettable.com
Subject: Signed Guestbook ~ Gypsy.... I'm not sure if the email I sent yesterday, as I was composing a new "entrance" to Tommy's original homepage, got through to you as my puter was overloaded. Will be upgrading soon....my how technology makes us need more and more HD & RAM space! I snitched the saying after visiting your homepage *which I want to go into more extensively when I can find the time*......you and I must be on the same wavelength, as I find my therapy in working on homepages, learning to apply JAVA, etc., and helping Carole Waller w/the 50+ LeChef's column! Anyhow....was thinking of you and in the guestbook area, so wanted to take a minute to say hi and a VERY BIG HUG goes out from me to you!
Love, Hillary aka HawaiianI Alohas from Hillary aka HawaiianI *;-) http://www.geocities.com/TheTropics/4533/

Hillary! Sister! Hi!!!!! Well, Hello to another ~Roommate~ I guess many of us have gone to accessing the club homepage more than chatting - but all the family feeling is still right there! *S* ~ TWO in one day showing up here in the guestbook! *Grin* So nice not to be forgotten when you aren't around anymore... (chatting as I used to). I will never forget that one night of suffering and desperation when you, Homebody, Bellestar and Biblio all helped me through until I could get ~Help~ that morning! What a miracle the love, unity and loyalty which grew between the family we were were together in ~those~ days - Hmmmmm? As for "Snitching" something from me? No way! For it is freely yours and I give you anything you would like to keep and use - *S* I pleases me to share... Love you, dear sister. I did not get a message in the guestbook mailbox, so send another if you feel so inclined and get a chance - Okay?
Always yours because I'm His, Love & hugs from your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: "Craig Wanke" ctennwa@worldnet.att.net
Subject: Re: Matthew
Dear Nina, Thank you for writing back to me. We have been married for 22 years, and also have a daughter, Laura. She is 18, but moved out of state 6 months before her brother died to pursue an alternative lifestyle. We talk to her, and she has been home a few times, but in a sense we've lost her too. Matthew was ripped away from us so suddenly and unexpectantly (as your son was), sometimes it doesn't seem real to me that he is gone forever. On his grave marker we had the words "Good, Honest, Joyful and Loving" inscribed. Those words really do describe the kind of person he was. He and his Dad were very close. I envied their relationship, and wished Laura and I could have been as close. Matthew and I were also close, but in a different kind of way, especially in recent years as he was becoming more interested in "guy things". He loved sports, especially basketball, and was beginning to play some golf. But then, everything in his life was beginning. Our hearts ache for him!!!!! Until later........ ~ Diane

Hello again Diane; One of the best ways of helping myself through the tragedy was to catch myself whenever I began to think how short a time I had my son, and remember to thank God for each day I DID have him! For all around me I see a great many people who have poor and troubled relationships with their children, and those who have never been blessed to have ANY children, and I remembered then, and now.... that I was so very richly blessed.... And the second comforting thing was, to ask myself, "Well, Nina, if God were to manifest Himself right here and now before you, look upon your tears of pain and anguish, and gently offer to give Eric back to you... to call him back down to earth from where he has entered the freedom, beauty and mystery of Eternity where he is with God..... would you say yes to that? And even the very first time those thoughts came to me days after the loss.... I knew with absolute clarity that I certainly would NOT want that for Eric... no... I admit that I struggled with those feelings and thoughts of longing and crying out to go be "there" too... But I know that God knows all things and one day I will see the ~Why~ of my having to stay longer. Meanwhile, I know that He has much for me to do, and my life is His to do with as He will. I would almost say that these thoughts were a form of discipline which I enforced upon myself for a long while, and slowly, my spirit became filled with the truth and light of them and they healed me. I still sometimes have to go over them again and remind myself.... but like a balm, they help ease the pain and light my path as I continue each step of the way... Please feel free to write as much or little as you like and be in touch with me as you go along your path. Sometimes, the only person that we can REALLY feel might understand even a portion of what we are going through - is one who has had to walk the same pathway. I am a fellow traveler and I do understand. This Cyber-homesite (and particularly the guestbook) is a gift of sharing and caring for others as we each find our way through our trials and pain. It blesses others to have you share with them. But there may also be some things that you might want to speak in confidence to me - and for that - you may use my personal mailbox rather than this GUESTBOOK link. The choice is yours. I wanted you to know that you may always choose. Those which come to me at gypsy@shentel.net  , will not be published. Those which come to the guestbook will. Diane, I believe that this is a hard time of year for all who mourn - but for us - it carries the additional pain of being the anniversary of our loss.... So please feel a very real embrace from one mother to another. I will be praying for you and I will be here for you anytime you might need me... until I get to go home too! *smile* Always remember that. And that I am yours because I am His, Your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: "Edward Brown" edpegbrown@worldnet.att.net
Subject: Thanks... Thanks for your page and topic. It gives me hope that His light is shining through this electronic medium. Will be sending links to others that I know. Ed.

Thank you Edward! for sharing those thoughts and for spreading our location with others. I appreciate our visitors who ~~~wave~~~ as they pass through! When Our Lord calls us to prepare a banquet for His sheep (and those who might become His sheep), it feels good to know that the food is being consumed and enjoyed! *S*
Yours because I'm His, In Christian Love,
Your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: ucoy@webtv.net (Jim Coyne)
Our Dear Nina. I am so thankful that every thing is turning out fine for Jeanne and family because the children need both mother and dad to live a normal life because most single parent kids are easier to be lead down the wrong path which is a terrible waste. A few of them make it to the right path but a lot don't. Satan loves to see it happen as it makes his job a lot easier as the wall of confidence is not there in most cases and he can just take over the soul. I can see it ever time I go to town on the street corners or in the shopping centers. I found a web site on just the crack babies and it was in UK but is just as bad in the U.S. It breaks my heart to see the life that some of them are living. Some of the kids are begging for some one to kill them because they hate being crack babies and can't do anything to make it go away. I thank God that path that she must travel. She is one of the very lucky few that has someone who cares. God does Love all of the other babies but he has done his part by putting his love and trust in us to take care of our little ones. The trouble as I see it is there is not enough people that care one way or the other. This problem goes back to the fishing trip that I talked about last week. Would you believe that just this last Friday I was talking with a man at work that is one of the few of us that care about the little ones, He has picked this little fellow that is five years old and takes him fishing or most any where else he wants to go. It thrilled me so much that I could hardly talk about it. That little booger will likely do the same thing when he gets older and I feel that he will amount to something when he grows up.  Barbara just opened her mail and I will answer some of it later also as this one is getting somewhat long. You will likely have two answers to parts of it but you have the (snip) on your computer so snip away *VBG* ouch!!!!! ~ With Our Love always, ~ Jim & Barbara

These dear friends are in daily (almost) contact with me in my personal mail - but todays' message seemed so good to post here that I'm sharing it with you all. Those of you who suffer and mourn - and those of you who, like Jim, observe that a little kindness can start an epidemic and can change untold lives which you may never even know about - this side of heaven! So here is a dear brothers' message today and I hope that it will bless all who read it! He ALWAYS blesses Brandi and I!!!!
Thanks Jim and Barbara - we sure love you guys!

Hello Jim & Barbara; Think this week should have me all caught up with everything! *RVBS!* It sure takes time to catch up when you fall out of the old ~yoke~... *S* Brandi and I are going to synopsize her journal for February and once again shoot for being faithful again in March. I am experiencing that same ~Countdown ~ feelings as I did last year - thinking of all the things that we did on our last visits and said in our last letters and as the time draws close where that anniversary arrives and everyone is playing tricks on people and having fun - I had an idea that either it will always be that way for me - or - that it will be years before it eases up.... My dear friend WELDOR (John) whom you might feel acquainted with if you get to keep up with the guestbook.... Is doing very badly now and is in constant pain while his bones are dying and there is nothing at all they can do except try to find the means to keep him comfortable... I feel so much for him - he is truly a brother-in -The-Lord in a very special way! So this news last week did nothing to brighten the dark clouds which hover at this time. Please include him and his pain in your intercessory prayers! He needed a heart/lung transplant before - but the V.A. was not going to do it until his heart failed and they were forced into the position. Now, I don't think anything can be done in that vein at all - for the medications to prevent rejection of transplants would also worsen the bone condition. It is a most painful way to slowly leave this world. Perhaps Jim might want to review who John is - and write to him to uplift and brighten his life....? He is having to be in bed more now. Oxygen deprivation from heart and lung, and now the pain. He was already confined to a wheelchair before, now, with the bones - he may lose even more mobility. He is SUCH a dear and loving man! He and his Juanita, like you and Jim - have been married all their lives to each other and love each other VERY much. She needs prayer too - for it is so terrible to watch someone you love suffering!
He made and sent this gif to Brandi two days ago! *RVBS!*

Your daughter was so sweet to write to Brandi! I will be looking forward to one day meeting ALL of you - as I might be taking a trip to Brookgreen Gardens even before you come here! You could meet us there and we could tour and have a dinner together? Wouldn't that be neat? Maybe she would come along too if she is interested? It is such a beautiful artistic place and since we share artistic inclinations - well..... Am rushing this into mail for it is 15 minutes until we leave for church! Tell Jim I miss his long letters! Is he okay? My dear Snicki told me he was holding off writing to me because I was so busy - BUT I am never THAT busy - (and I never will be, either)..... So tell him to get to the keyboard! *grin* Love to you all {{{{{{{Jim, Barbara and Kayla}}}}}}}
>From your gypsy, (Nina)

Subject: Our Friend John~N;
My Dear Nina; I meant to ask about John yesterday but did not get it done. As you know by now I have trouble Finding the right words at a time like this. I am always afraid that I will say the wrong thing or say something that will lead to the wrong impression. I will do some research in my Bible and Bible encyclopedia to see if I can find any thing that will help me. I have wrote him two or three times and that was to let him know about Our Brandis' loss of her Papaw Ross because I did not know if he had heard about it or not. As he was a friend of yours and Miss Brandis' I wanted to be sure that he was aware of the fact. I did not know at the time that he was having the trouble that he is. I was under the impression that he was in the best of health. It just goes to show me how wrong I can guess sometimes. He and I sure have a few things in common and that is we really love our grand kids and all little kids for that matter also WE LOVE OUR SOUL MATES. He may have a few years on me in being married but anything after 36 years is enough to be considered life long mates. His lovely wife will really need all the support and prayers that we can give her as like you said that is one of the most horrible things that one can go through. having to watch the other half of your self suffer like John is and not being able to do anything to help them get better. We will be praying for John and his soul mate Juanita, if any thing bad happened to my mate I can not imagine life without her. Now'-days couples change mates about as often as they trade cars. I will close for now My Dear Nina after thanking you for becoming one of our Special Loving Friends. You will never know how much I needed your Friendship which you offered from day one. I will always thank GOD for leading me to you when he did.
With Our Love and HUGS {{{{{{{{SISTER NINA}}}}}}}}
Jim

Subject: Re: Our Friend John~N;
Good Morning Jim; Nice to hear from you this morning. As I was reading what you said, I thought it might help and inspire you to hear the spiritual two principles upon which, (well.... THREE, really), I made the choice to reach out at the very weakest point of my life - and take on the huge project of learning to publish on the internet. It was a calling, and at the time - I had absolutely NO skill at any of it! But when the Lord calls us to a ministry, He also walks so closely to us that we do not have to study or research - for He leads the way so miraculously - one inspiration at a time as we go along. And the more we minister - the more skilled and wise we become through those experiences - to meet new ones.... So just be the wonderful person that you and Barbara are and don't worry much about preparation. I can tell you that in the many messages between us - He has used you so very powerfully to assuage and strengthen me! He has blessed me so beautifully in you - that I am sure you are well gifted and equipped just as you are, dear one! In April of 1996 when God was (even then) beginning this ministry) I was so very far into danger of annihilation from the wounds which had befallen me that I would have laughed if anyone said to me that God was going to use me for ANYTHING at all! At the time, I was quite desperate for help one night after the ~parting.... The doctor had asked me to take an antidepressant drug - and when I did that, I began to feel EXTREMELY suicidal. I told the doctor (not my usual doctor) at the first dose - but he said it would be 5 - 10 before it would be fully effective- and that I must stick with it. Well, from the first day, I had found that the drug removed my normal spiritual-thinking-understanding that "This too will pass...." and waiting upon the Lord (trust). I became utterly suicidal in thinking - for the medication actually removed any and all inhibition to suicide and I found that it was all I COULD think of to end the unbearable pain and unthinkable horror of an existence without my dear soulmate-son. When the doctor assured me it would be okay - I followed what he said and continued taking the stuff - but the ~problem~ worsened until on the third night, while alone (Peach works nights), I KNEW that I could not struggle anymore... even with prayer - I told God, "If you want to send me to hell for that - then that is where I must go - for I cannot face life here so alone and without Eric... I just can't... And YOU, Almighty God, who knows our hearts, You know exactly how it is with me.... So please cover this act of a weakened, ~impossible to go on~ child - with Your mercy and the blood of Christ which was shed for me. I just can't do anything else. The Spirit began to deal with me inside - but the drug had removed the mental/spiritual inhibitions to carrying through with the act. Our brains are entirely susceptible to chemical imbalance - especially of psychotropic drugs such as antidepressants!!! All I could think of was "Why not?". I cried out broken-heartedly to God, "I give you my life each and every day and ask that You, and You alone give me my every thought and feeling.... I literally lay my life in Your hands for service and safe-keeping. You are who I depend on in all things. Now, if You are not preventing this, then I know that it must not be unpardonable for me to cry out (and act on) the reality... which IS..... that I utterly cannot go on. I know that I will have less to offer to You in the way of tasks I "Might have accomplished" when I stand before You in the day of judgment... I will have so many less ~gifts~ to offer to You, Father, and I know that You may show me Your plan and all I failed to do, But this too You know about me - for I am Your child, You are my Father, and sometimes we children are foolish and/or vulnerable. I know this too.... You love me, Christ understands my sorrow upon absolutely. You have allowed this and I am here utterly broken and have not the strength or endurance for even one more day or night on this earth.... Why... Jesus Himself was, at times, utterly overwhelmed... And so, my Lord, am I <overwhelmed>. I know that there is nothing which His precious blood will not cover - and right now, I pray and cover myself in it as I do this....". And as I gathered the means by which I knew I would find the release I sought.... God began to whisper to me with the scripture He always uses with me (I call it my personal lifetime scripture - for God uses it to deal with me so very often....) PSALMS 46:10 "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD".... My drug-influenced brain/heart began to speak right back with me in terms of logic to support what I was about to do, just as the serpent reasoned with Eve about Gods' words and commands - "Is it not written," <he prompted me> "in His Word, PSALM 37:23 & 24 that even if you fall, He will hold you up? Therefore, if He doesn't want you do die.... He will keep you safe no matter what you do..." and there are many such scriptures which I will not attempt to list here - but you know - "If you take up any poisonous thing, it shall not harm you" ......etcetera and etcetera. So I came to my computer with the glass of water and the medication which would release me - and I was going to just leave a short letter asking my family and friends to forgive me - and pointing out that I KNEW they would understand....." And, as I last touch with people I loved - I connected too - and went into my 50+ chat room just to see the dear and familiar names of my cyber-family - and without letting it be known, I began (this is going to sound weird, I know) to petition God for them to be comforted when they heard the news on the morrow.... I was weeping as only one THAT wounded, broken and hurting can weep.... <soul-tears feel like your life-blood leaving you>... So there I was, saying a private goodbye to my cyber-roommates, in my heart, and crying for them and for me.... and.... well, at that point I believe I was weeping for all the woes and pain of all the world...... and before I could even think - someone "said" something (on-line) in the chat which the Spirit prompted me to respond to and I sent a private message to HOMEBODY and BIBLIO .... that I was in a terrible state and believed that the drug I'd been taking for several days, had removed my inhibitions against suicide and I was going to go to the doctor in the morning.... I don't know where those unbidden words of confession came from (well, actually, YES I DO!!!) - I just typed them up and sent the message!!!!! Immediately, Homebody (Judith) set up a private room and sent the URL in a private message and asked that I join them, Biblio, Bellestar and herself). I did that, and as it turned out - the Judith stuck with me until morning when the doctors office called. Wisely, not arguing about the suicide point - but leading my sore and aching heart into topics which drew my focus away and held me safely in conversation (a lot of it about Eric, whom people really wouldn't let me discuss... thinking that I should not be dwelling on him so much!!!!) and she stuck right with me until 8:30 when the office would be open! Looking back - I can SEE myself in the palm of My Fathers' hands, tucked under the safety of His Wings in those hours... I called the office, went in to see the doctor (my regular one was in that day)! - and was immediately taken off of it and it was agreed that it was a very dangerous (and poor professional judgment on the part of the ~other doctor, in my case) to have not heeded the immediate worsening of my state of mind at the time I began the drug he (the substitute doctor) had insisted upon.. But the point of my sharing this terrible night was - how God is always with us - (In the valley of the shadow of death, particularly strongly!) and that He has a beautiful plan for us regardless of how terrible it all looks at times. I was feeling utterly destroyed and useless to anyone ~forevermore.... and yet, out of that night, I became a strong warrior which He uses for the many others who, for whatever reasons, are in dire circumstances of Spirit and need a Soul-paramedic..... I understand them from being there myself! And the three principles upon which my cyber-ministry is built are........

*S* I love His bringing us together as he has.... and I have a vision of your ministering so powerfully for Him - for you have an enormous heart of compassion and overflowing love! Do not be concerned with your ability or knowledge - He likes to use those of us who are not filled up with our OWN knowledge and allow Him to put into our hearts what He wants us to share! *Smile* Love and hugs to you, dear, dear Ones
{{{{{{{Jim, Barbara and Kayla}}}}}}}
From your sister, gypsy, (Nina)

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Chris Bilski bilski@kent.net
Subject: (no subject)
I'm psychology student at university of Windsor ON Canada. The reason why I'm sending you E-mail is because I'm doing project on psychology of prayer( morning prayer ), what is the significance of morning prayer. If you have any info regarding the subject please e-mail me at bilski@kent.net . Thank You!!!

Hello Chris; Your inquiry puzzles me. Why would one NOT wish to pray at the beginning of a day? Perhaps you could explain that to me first? For it may be that I am not comprehending your point and/or question. As for me, personally, I like to "put on the whole armor of God" to face life. Ephesians 6: 10-19 And I also think that Paul also did such as I believe he was indicating in 1 Corinthians 15:31 As we volitionally die daily, we are raised up in Christ to face the day. Perhaps what you are looking for might best be found here...  What IS Prayer?
ALSO........Since you do not mention it, and it certainly has an effect on our perspectives of prayer, I would like to ask if you are a Christian? 
SALVATION INVITATION
Thank you for writing to me and I hope that I have answered your question. If not, please be more specific in what it is you would like me to address?  ~  Yours because I am His, Your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: dlang@nettally.com (Lang, Dave)
Subject: Home Page
I enjoyed your site. Thanks for sharing it with everyone. I am listing
this site as a Prayer enlightening site on a comprehensive list I am
compiling to share with any christian who desires a copy. It grows as I
surf and look for new ones. May God richly bless you and your efforts.
Dave Lang Christian Share Group
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Using the Internet for Good  to encourage and uplift the bride of Christ !!
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Dear Dave; Thank you for ~~~~~waving~~~~~~~ and for sharing with us here. *smile* I was delighted with your keyboard Christian symbolism (NEAT!) in the lines this way! Thank you for introducing me to that! (I promise to share! *grin*) Thank you also for promoting the "sheep food" so that I might have opportunity to feed as many as possible *RVBS!*
Yours because I'm His, Your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: anne andert aandert@duluth.infi.net
Subject: (thanks!
Thanks for your prayer page. Prayer is a passion of mine... and one I am excited to share with others, and see them excited about as well.
Blessings to you!

Dear Anne; I lift my souls' voice with yours about prayer and sharing! Thank you for sharing yourself with us here!And thank you for reaching out to your friends to share us with them too.
Yours because I'm His, Your gypsy, (Nina)

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Subject: A prayer poem written when I was 7, I am 45 now.
From: Advrehtec@de-inc.com
Nina, A long time ago before I knew Our Lord, I wrote this short but simple poem of what my life meant to me then. Never would I have realized that many years later that I would be saved and that my early words would make so much sense. Jesus wants us to Pray to him, Talk with him and Minister for him. Here is my short but healthy prayer poem. I hope it can be of help to someone than needs a simple explanation.
We are all born to live. We all will live and die.
We will all die to live with Jesus our Lord forever.
Thanks for listening, John Petralito

Dear John; Thank you for sharing that with us here. You are right about the beauty and simplicity of your prayer. What an awesome thing to be that understanding of God, life and prayer. Do you still write?
Yours because I'm His, Your gypsy, (Nina)

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Date: Thu, 5 Mar 1998 21:25:54 -0500
Part 2 of reply for March 3, 1998
My Dear Friend Nina; I will try once more to get the rest of your letter answered, But first let me tell you that the other letter got sent with out me signing it. You can guess why I bet. Yep! My kayla was dishing out some more hugs because she is feeling so much better. I forgot to tell you in my last note the she had to go to a skin doctor today because she has what he called a type of warts which are easy to catch. He asked Barbara if Kayla had a insurance card and when she said no he changed the fee charged on the sheet as the Doctor last night did. It sure helped old papaw out a lot. They are to be blessed as most Doctors can't or won't give anything off. Those two Doctors really like little kids as much as My Nina, My Barbara and old papaw Jim. Kayla will have a Doctor if I have to work two jobs to pay her bills. " BRB" I will tell you one thing right now. When the LORD calls you sure must listen good because you have done a number one job on feeding his lost childern. There is no telling how many souls you have led back to the path as alot of them never leave a sign that they were there but you helped them never the less. As I have already told if you help just one many many of them and when the role is called in Heaven your name will be on the list as one of GODS' best shepards. If as you say God has used me to strengthen you I am thankful for the opportunity. I will welcome the chance to uplift you when or if the need should arise. If you should ever need for any reason some one to lean on or help you carry a burden of any sort just say the word as I am on this net sometime during each and ever day. I don't know if I told you or not but the night that you had been up for better than two days waiting for word from Jeanne to get to her Dads' and she called at about 3:00 AM and you in turn posted the shared note at 3:22 A.M. well I woke up for some reason at about 3:00 A.M. and couldn't go back to sleep so I came in here and turned this thing on around 3:30 and there was your note. I missed you by about 8 minutes. Good and Happy news has a way of getting my attention. I hate that I must make this response a three part reply MY DEAR I will try to finish it Friday PM as there will quite a bit more of it that I need to address I want to get it all included because I want to say it and it needs to be said. We LOVE you MY DEAR Nina, Jim ~~~  P.S Do you have that big SMILE ready yet???? I know it will be hard but you can do it. Look at it this way if was Erics' birthday party you surely would smile so if this April is what we could say is his second birthday with GOD is that not reason to smile so he would know that you are happy that he is with GOD. What would be wrong with baking a little birthday cake for him and putting two candles on it and taking it up to Freesoul Rock and sharing it with him and all of GODS other little creatures? Please give it some consideration. If he was happy with any of the other cakes that you ever baked him why would he not be happy with his second year with GOD. I bet you would feel better also. I do not bring this up to make you sad My Dear I just think it makes since from my way of looking at things. More on this in my next part of this reply. No Matter what ever happens please do not for minute forget that GOD LOVES YOU My Sister and so do WE. ~~~~~~~~~~bye~~bye~~~:-)~;-)~;-)~~~~~~~

Date: Fri, 6 Mar 1998 05:59:23 -0800
Hello Jim; Always so nice to see you here in the mail que! I just know right that minute that I am going to be stroked with some of the best love, compassion and Christian fellowship! You are such a treasure in my life! Recieved this from John yesterday... I 'd sent him one of my newly created site awards which I just finished completing (and in case you want to see that award) you will find one here - FROGGY SEZ
Thought I would share the message from John - for I how much you care and you know he isn't getting many of them out right now! See below here.... Have a wonderful day today, Jim!
Love and hugs {{{{{{{Jim & Barbara}}}}}}}
From your gypsy, (Nina)

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Date: Thu, 05 Mar 1998 19:00:28 -0600
From: John Naron tactroom@web-access.net
Well Gypsy((((((((((Nina)))))))))) ~ *VBS* I am forever grateful for the thought and time you give me and I am really grateful for such an outstanding a thing as this tribute you pay me now. It is a beautiful award. I know the meaning of this spot to you and I'll treasure the award always. We will most surly put it on my home page and link it as you ask. You and Brandi are always in my payers and on my mind. They are still not sure what they want to do with this pain I'm having. Right now we are on Tylenol-3 and darvocets. They tend to keep me asleep all the time, which I don't like. I miss not being on my ~puter~, not talking with friends and doing my things. I have been trying to learn to make gifs. now, but I need to learn so much more. I'm out "in space" (the medications) so Remember I love you both with all my heart, so you love Brandi for me. I'll try to write tomorrow I love all the mail you have sent. In Christ, I'm your John.

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From: "Advanced Rehabilitation & Technology, Inc." Advrehtec@de-inc.com
Gypsy Nina, Yes, I still write but I have just found myself after being so lost. I loved Jesus but I was not educated to read his word. I always found an excuse not to and seeing how I was a Catholic, I didn't think I needed to. No one is blame but myself. However, I am saved now. Exactly 1 week today. I have been reading and studying Our Lord's word daily since the middle of January 98. I never knew how real the Trinity is. I am like a child in a candy store. It is all new to me and it is so beautiful. Well, back to my poetry. I still write. But for myself. It is my way of releasing aggression and upset. Unfortunately, I have a long way to go with that. I am a good person but I like all men, I have some problems that need immediate attention. Jesus has taken over and found me. He has picked me up and is carrying me until the time when he feels I can stand up and walk beside him. A friend of mine said it best," John, step aside and let Jesus take over. He will do it better" So I let go. Jesus took over. I am in His hands. Here is a prayer / poem I wrote last month. He is my inspiration. With kind words, John~P
Inspiration of Him.
By JSP 2/98
Loving Him is to accept Him.
Carrying Him secures your faith in Him.
Praying to Him bonds you to Him.
He is Jesus in you.

Honoring Him is to love Him.
Adoring Him causes you to respect Him.
Thinking of Him beholds you in Him.
He is your Jesus.

Living with Him is loving Him.
Lifting your hearts to Him is to cherish Him.
Accepting Him saves you through Him.
He is in you, your Jesus.

Presenting Him is to honor Him.
Preserving words of Him is to obey Him.
Ministering of Him is to teach of Him.
He is Jesus.

Hello John~P; Gee! A ~Newbie~!!! Thank you for sharing that with me! May I put your testimony up to share! It is beautiful! I am glad to hear this and that you somehow found your way to my small off erring of sheep-food! Please return - as it is ever growing too! (I would not put your prayer up as you might want to do something with it and then it would already have been published.... *S* Thank you so very much for letting me read it. I love all prayer!!!!! There may be times when you might want to write privately too, and if you ever want to - write here gypsy@shentel.net Love and congratulations in Christ!
Yours because I'm His, Your gypsy, (Nina)

Gypsy Nina, Thanks again for reading my words. Please feel free to use my testimony. And please publish my poem if you feel it would help someone feel what I have felt. That was the reason for me writing it in the first place. By the way, I always do things for people with this one condition. "If what I do, write or say helps just one person, then it was worth while doing, writing or saying it" Quote by John S. Petralito Thanks for your encouragement.
With God's Love and mine, John~P

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From: saundra saundra@intur.net
Subject: Award
I read more on the Home Page and loved the bit about the birds escorting an angel. May I add this, too. As you look up to a lovely, slightly windy blue puffy-cloud sky, Charlie Brown said to Linus when he looked at a sky like this..."Oh, look the Angels must be having a pillow fight." I love it and never forgot it. God bless you in all your work, Nina. Do hope you have recovered significantly by now. ~ Love, Sandy

Love & hugs to you, {{{{{{{Bellestar}}}}}}}
From your gypsy, (Nina)

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From: LaJuan zani2u@earthlink.net
Subject: Hi You have done .. or .. OUTDONE yourself .. so well !! I'm SO PROUD of you !!! *S*MILE** Boy, just to think .... a few years ago a few lines on a homepage .. a newbie on her way to learning about HTML and such .. and now look at you !! You have come a LONG, LONG way BABY !!!! *SMILE* How are you doing ?... I do pray that you are GETTING OUT... into the world and not sitting 24 hours a day behind that computer !!!! Otherwise I would have to come there and get you OUT INTO LIFE !! I do worry about you being CONSUMED by the computer .. it happens you know ! Tell me that you have left the house .. gone grocery shopping, to the Mall Shopping, out to a movie ... etc !!! **LAFF*** Thank you for the URL to your Web Site .... I enjoyed looking and reading it .. and since I'm NOT thru .. I'll return again this afternoon to it. Take care .. remember that you are Loved ... Hugs and May God Bless You ~~ ~~ LaJuan ~ <SillyFilly)

Subject: Re: Hi
To: LaJuan zani2u@earthlink.net
Hey, Room-mate-sister... If that is the case.... ----> How are you doing .. I do pray that you are GETTING OUT .. into the world and not sitting 24 hours a day behind that computer !!!! Other wise I would have to come there and get you OUT INTO LIFE !! ^OKAY!!!! I am glued to the computer - use DEPENDS so that I only have to go to the bathroom on ~Special occasions~ and don't sleep at all.... I don't even know if it is night or day most of the time..... H-E-L-P!!!!! ^So NOW..... *giggling* When will you be arriving to get me out of here and take me to the Mall and we can have lots of fun ~chatting~ *IRL!* *Teeheehee! And go to a movie - and have Pizza and talk about that Cleveland gathering last year.... *ROTFL!!!!!* Are you going to put the AWARD on your site? I am SOOooo proud of it! Will also be giving the Eric Lee Baker AWARD for Literary excellence" when I figure out how to put this
back together (too large a sketch for the scanner!) and then will put it in a black and gold frame and give it that way.... If you run across any sites you think deserving of either award, - send links... ~K ? I love you and am so glad to hear that you are doing so much better. Me too! Surgeries are over... Surgeon is thrilled with me. I think he is the greatest. All is pretty good around here. Have THREE dogs now! Pinky, Tippy and ChiCho - which you can see and read about on Brandis' section.... Shall I send you a list of the site? It is as intricate as a spiders' web now! *S* Even put up an art section when Snicki wanted to see what kind of artist I was! *S* Good thing she didn't want to hear me sing! They would have to close down the cyber-highway!!!!! *giggle* Bye for now. Loving hugs and prayers always for my dear {{{{{{{LaJuan!}}}}}}}
From your gypsy (Nina)

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