A computer programmer
<one of those REAL ~NERDY~ types!>
happened across a frog in the road.
To his surprise and amazement -
the frog looked him right in the eye and said,
"I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me,
I'll hang out with you for a whole week!".
The programmer reached down,
picked the frog up and put her in his pocket.

A few minutes later, the frog says "Hey!!!!!"
The fellow reached in and took her back out of his pocket,
"But I don't wanna be in your pocket...!
OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll be your girlfriend for a week".
The programmer waits to be sure she's finished talking,
shrugs his shoulders and then puts her back in his pocket.

The frog squirms and makes some complaining froggi-comments...
A few minutes later, she peeks up out of his pocket and says..
"P-L-E-A-S-E? Just a tiny kiss? And when I turn back into a princess,
I promise you, I'll be your girlfriend for a whole year!".
The programmer smiles down at her,
pets her on the head affectionately and walks on.

Bewildered... then miffed... She finally yells up at him,
"What's wrong with you? I've promised you everything I can think of.
What DO you want. Why won't you help me? GOSH!!!!!!!!!!
So what's the big deal about one little kiss for a frog?"

"I'm a programmer," he replies.
"I don't have time for girls.... But a talking frog is pretty neat."

====================================


   (Who!  Me???)

A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told,
"I predict that you are going to meet a beautiful young woman
who will want to know everything about you."

The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," said the psychic, "Next semester in her biology class."

=================

Baby Frog: Mama, who is smarter- a chicken or a frog?
Mama Frog: We are of course!!
Baby Frog: How do you know?
Mama Frog: Well, who ever heard of Kentucky Fried Frog?

===============

There was a really cute princess walking through the woods,
and she heard a voice calling, "Hey Really Cute Princess!"
She looked around and didn't see anyone but a frog.
She started to walk on but the frog called again.
"Hey Really Cute Princess,
if you take me home and let me sleep on your pillow,
I will turn back into a Handsome Prince!"
It had been a very boring day
so she decided to give it a try even though she really didn't believe the frog.

The Really Cute Princess
took the frog home with her and let him sleep on her pillow.
When she got up the next day what do you think she found?
There on her pillow sat a really handsome Prince!

What?
You don't believe the story?

Her parents didn't either !

===================================

  A drunk is sitting at a bar, and says, "Bartender! Another drink."

The bartender shakes his head and says, "No you've had enough."

"Well," the drunk says. "How about if I show you something really cool?
Then will you give me a drink?"

"Sure," the bartender says. "But it's gotta be pretty cool."

The drunk takes a tiny piano out of one pocket ,
and two frogs out of another and sets them on the bar.
One frog starts banging away, playing a beautiful song.
While the other one began to dance.

The bartender thought that WAS pretty cool, so he gave him a drink.
The drunk downs it, and orders another.
"No way," the bartender says. "Now you've really had enough."

"If you give me a drink, I'll show you something even cooler," says the drunk.
The bartender agrees.

The drunk pulls out a tiny mouse , and sets it on top of the piano.
The frog continues to play and the mouse begins to sing to the music.

Truly amazed, the bartender pours him another drink.

Nearby, a man had been watching all this and came up to the drunk and said,
"You've got a million dollar act there. I'll give you $500,000 for them right now."

The frog looked up at the man and croaked, "I'm not for sale, man!"
The drunk nodded in agreement, "That's right! Him and me.... we're Buddies!"
and he picked the frogs up and put them back into his pocket.

"Ok, $500,000 just for the frogs."

The drunk shook his head.... "Not for sale."

"Ok, $500,000 just for the mouse."

Quickly, the drunk agreed, put the piano back into his pocket
and handed him the mouse in exchange for the cash.

Shocked, the bartender says to the drunk,
"What did you do that for? You broke up a million dollar act!"

"Not really," the drunk says. "You see, the frog's a ventriloquist."

==================================

  Jim Finn, the noted biologist, was stumped.
He'd spent months studying the little green frogs in the Keefo swamp.
The population, despite all efforts at predator control,
was declining at an alarming rate.

Finally, Finn went to the chemistry department at his college
to see if anyone there might be able to help.
Tom Trom looked into the problem, and came up with a solution.
The little frogs had succumbed to a chemical change in the swamp's water,
and simply couldn't stay coupled long enough to reproduce.
Tom brewed up a new adhesive, made from a dash of this, a zoss of that,
and most critically, one part sodium.

"You mean?.... " Jim said when told.

"Yes," said Tom, "They needed mono-sodium glue to mate."

===================================

  Two frogs sat on Robinson Crusoe's back.

One said to the other, "I have to go now. But let's meet again on Friday!"

==================================

  A scientist was interested in studying
how far bullfrogs can jump under varying conditions.
He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded,
"Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog jumped across the room.

The scientist measured the distance, then noted in his journal,
"Frog with four legs - jumped eight feet."

Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.

After measuring the distance, the scientist noted in his journal,
"Frog with two legs - jumped three feet."

Next, the scientist cut off the frog's back legs. Then he commanded,
"Jump, frog, jump!"

The frog just lay there.    
The scientist repeated , "Jump, frog, jump!"
Then he leaned closer and shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!"
  Still, nothing happened.

.T-H-E-N !

Realizing he'd made a brilliant ~discovery~
The scientist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs - lost its hearing."

============================================

  Three frogs walked into a bar, the fourth frog ducked.

(wouldn't you?)

=============================================

`From the mouths of babes...'

A little girl walks up to her grandfather and says:
"Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?"

Grandpa says:
"Honey, why do you want me to do that?"

And the little girls says:
"Well, Daddy said that when you croak,
we all get to go to Disney World!"

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