From the pages of my journal.....

Buffys First Days 

It was one of those all-day-downpouring rains - you know..... the kind you never choose to drive in!

The day Buffy, Eric and I first met, she was in a holding pen for euthanasia... they explained that, although she was only about a year old, she was too sick and ill-of-health to be adopted-out. That was why there was no card on the front of her kennel.

I'd stooped down to pet her with fingers put though the chain-link-fence gate. She was a tiny little thing so pitifully thin that you could count her ribs. She had a kennel-cough and was indeed quite ill. Our eyes locked and I felt such a rush of love for her, and compassion for the life of deprivation and suffering she had obviously led in her short time here earth. I wanted to give her more... show her that life was more than misery and desperation.

I asked to hold her and they said that I couldn't. Then, as I began to withdraw my fingers, she took hold of my finger in the gentlest of bites -[couldn't really be called a bite] - it was just a little "hold" as her eyes seemed to say to me, "I knew you would come, I was waiting for you... please don't leave me here!"

I had recently `lost' my little terrier mix, Tiki, and had left my name and number for the shelter to call me if they got a terrier-type of orphan in - and they had called me hours before, at my store.... and I closed early and Eric and I made the 35-minute drive to Winchester to see a terrier they'd received that day.

I felt as though my heart was breaking when I stood and we walked away from her! I could feel her eyes on my back burning through me to my very soul. She'd made just one tiny little whimper as I withdrew my finger from her gentle little `hold' and stroked her one last time. My heart was heavier with each reluctant step as we went further through the shelter to meet the `thoroughbred' terrier which was indeed a good choice for Eric and I.    It was all spunky and playful, clean and obviously in great condition..... We spent a few minutes trying to familiarize with the terrier - but all the while - my heart and soul were with the tiny little waif  forty feet behind us along the way.... Eric and I looked at each other and without a word, I knew that he was feeling exactly what I was feeling..... the waif  had already laid claim to us.

It took a bit of convincing to get them to let us take Buffy, (she did not actually have a name, having been born and survived without a home, the shelter had picked up the mother and several siblings after complaints from fast food restaurants of the group visiting and being a nuisance).   I pleaded to be able to at least try to bring her to health. I felt, with all my heart, that even if she was ill and dying, I wanted to give her a home, security, love and good things to eat in the time remaining her. I don't know how or why that happened as it did, but there was an immediate bond....

I will always remember the well-intentioned remark made as I handed over the forms I'd filled out and the $35 fee - "Now remember, you can bring her back and exchange her if your vet advises that she is too ill to adopt or will be too expensive to fix. I sort of felt that the remark made her sound like a toaster from a pawn shop.

She was indeed, just a year old, confirmed the vet... and he also confirmed that she was not a good candidate as a pet and would have lifelong problems that would require not only the TLC - but $$$ as well, (from the obviously poor nutrition and conditions in which she grew up). Her teeth were loose and she would not even be able to chew until her condition improved...

In the beginning, we gave her soft things like scrambled eggs, cottage cheese, hamburger.... with added support like powdered vitamins and nutritional yeast. I rubbed and massaged her gums and teeth with herbal lotions to restore the tissues... and in a short while - she was much improved and on her way to that `better life' I'd longed to give her. *smiling* And I suppose that her extreme deprivations prepared her to love and appreciate life and her new home in ways that favorable circumstances prior to coming to live with us would not have prepared her for. That reminds me of what our own life-experiences have to do with how we will cherish our `other-life' when we enter into Eternity, having been prepared by suffering and deprivations here, we who have suffered greatly, will have been prepared to appreciate more greatly, all that we will have there......

More will be added here..... (unfinished, taking it from my journal)

Buffys' last days.... 

Written materials Nina Roberta Baker

Rainbow Bridge and other pet-loss writings

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